need advice on a bit of a problem

tnlpn8 · Mar 25, 2009

Evamist and Lexapro saved my sanity and now I don't have to apologize for my outburts anymore.:argue:

whipping girl in 07, RN · Mar 25, 2009

I have a mouth that gets me in trouble, so sometimes I just have to count to 10, or 20, or 50, or 10,473!

I have learned to control it (most of the time) and know (usually) when I can and can't pop off. I've found it helps to talk to someone I know will not hold my comments against me, so I pop off to my boss (unless it's about her, lol! ) or a co-worker (one I can trust who won't gossip) in a private area. But what's saved my life? Text messaging!!! I text my husband with my negativity, and he talks me off the ledge!

As far as body language goes, try talking to yourself in a mirror. When I was a child, my mom said I never met a mirror I didn't like :imbar so I've learned to use this as a tool to see how others see me. You know what facial expressions you make. So say some things you normally say into the mirror. Practice making your facial expressions less, well, expressive. Try to learn not to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Or learn not to care. Accept that you can be somewhat caustic and try not to let it bother you that some people are not going to like you. Because, honestly, not everyone is going to like you, no matter what you do.

And try not to let what others do bother you. Don't take things personally. Most people are so self absorbed they think everything is about them. Usually it's not. I have a co-worker with "foot-in-the-mouth-itis." I do a job that's not traditionally nursing and she can say things sometimes that sound like she thinks she can do our job better than the RNs since she's a dietitian. I used to get offended, now I just ignore it. I know she doesn't think she's better, she just has trouble getting her point across without rubbing people the wrong way. And her personality is one that likes to be unique, so she doesn't like to be "lumped in" with the rest of us, she needs to have a role on the team that's hers alone.

And ya know, it could be the hormones...can your doctor test your levels? Sometimes you get to where a medication dosage is not enough and needs to be increased.

Good luck to you.

Guest343211 · Mar 25, 2009

Thanks to both of you.

The thing is, even though I haven't been truly caustic, rude, disrespectful, or insubordinate, it has cost me I job that I was quite capable of and would have ultimately worked well with others and made my managers proud. Live and learn. Some people think that folks can't change,but they can. I know I have. It's not something I should have been let go for, but I guess if the manager and cohorts thought there was someone they liked better--and who knows, maybe could ge them cheaper--well, way it goes I guess.

I am trying not to beat myself up over it; but I go over things until I've processed them and have worked through them. For me it means learning, growing, changing some things, and then hopefully I will not do the same thing over and over--getting the same results. You know, that form of insanity--can't remember who originally said that. I also believe that things occur and there's a greater purpose in them But mostly, for my part, I want to learn and be better. It's just that these hormonal issues do not help.

I switched to Lexapro from Zoloft. It's like these agents don't work on me anymore. I've up my Krill Oil and started taking Sam-e again. I haven't stopped the Lexapro; it's just that it doesn't seem to be working. God forbid I forget my HRT though. Holy cow. But the other thing is I haven't been running like I was. I really helped. I think the whole orientation, getting really sick after switching to 12 hour nights, added with all the other stressors in my life just set me up.

It kind of stinks to have to start looking all over. They say that one should always be looking and ready to find another job. Many people, especially nurses and docs, switch jobs a lot. It's just that it seemed that I was so close to being done with orientation, and I openned my mouth the wrong time, the wrong way. I really don't know if that is all there is to it. As I said in another post, they didn't seem to want to keep up with a systematic well and consistently evaluated orientation process. I don't know how that can be effectively accomplished with eight different "orienter-preceptor" people. And I don't know how that can be done with out the right kind of weekly evaluation and sign-off of documentation. ???

But as I said, there has to be a greater reason. They said I'm on track clinically. So even if it is about be growing in terms of relating with others--which I often do well, but I have my moments--and in certain circles of nursing, those moments, even when relatively painless, are not understood or tolerated. I am learning though that so much of it really is about perception, perception, perception.

The other part is for me to stay focused on my schooling and other important responsibilities. Thank goodness I am carrying a 4.0.

Thanks again.

avivadiva · Mar 25, 2009

Dear "Need advice":

You have a couple of questions in your letter. I think I have something to offer you about the HRT question. You might consider going to a custom compounding pharmacist, or a health practitioner that knows about custom compounding for menopause issues. The pharmacist or practitioner will do a comprehensive history and then prescribe a "Tri-estrogenic" formula that is based on three estrogens that human females actually produce, versus what a mare produces, then asceptically extracted from the mare's urine. This mare urine estrogenic extraction is the standard HRT derivative that is commonly given to women for menopause discomfort, etc. The custom formulated tri-estrogen medication will be based on the actual symptoms that you are having, for example, mood swings, flushing or sleeplessness, etc. You can research this on the net so you are more familiar with the science. I don't know why they don't custom prescribe for menopause, or why they give women estrogens that their bodies do not produce. You can also make sure you are getting enough sleep. If you are working the night shift, and/or working long shifts, your body might be telling you to find a less stressful work schedule. Sometimes, we just really need to take care of ourselves, in order to take care of others.

dharmakat

MS._Jen_RN, ASN, RN · Mar 25, 2009

Something to be aware of -I know that you said you are just straight forward and honest. But, I've met some people who thought the same thing about themselves who really came across as contrary and abrasive. I'm not saying that this is necessarily the case for you, just something to think about. Sometimes being "just honest" can be hurtful. Granted, some people are more sensitive than others. I find it helps to force a little pause in myself before I reply and to be especially careful to do this when I'm extra stressed.

As others have said, take care of yourself.

Good luck, I know feeling anxious and agitated is miserable.

Jen

RNperdiem, RN · Mar 25, 2009

Have you talked to your gyne about this? Maybe there are some alternatives in prescriptions.

I worked with a couple of nurses who were on fertility drugs. They were hard to take sometimes, but I managed.

mizfradd, CNA · Mar 25, 2009

thanks to both of you.
the thing is, even though i haven't been truly caustic, rude, disrespectful, or insubordinate, it has cost me i job that i was quite capable of and would have ultimately worked well with others and made my managers proud. live and learn. some people think that folks can't change,but they can. i know i have. it's not something i should have been let go for, but i guess if the manager and cohorts thought there was someone they liked better--and who knows, maybe could ge them cheaper--well, way it goes i guess.
i am trying not to beat myself up over it; but i go over things until i've processed them and have worked through them. for me it means learning, growing, changing some things, and then hopefully i will not do the same thing over and over--getting the same results. you know, that form of insanity--can't remember who originally said that. i also believe that things occur and there's a greater purpose in them but mostly, for my part, i want to learn and be better. it's just that these hormonal issues do not help.
i switched to lexapro from zoloft. it's like these agents don't work on me anymore. i've up my krill oil and started taking sam-e again. i haven't stopped the lexapro; it's just that it doesn't seem to be working. god forbid i forget my hrt though. holy cow. but the other thing is i haven't been running like i was. i really helped. i think the whole orientation, getting really sick after switching to 12 hour nights, added with all the other stressors in my life just set me up.
it kind of stinks to have to start looking all over. they say that one should always be looking and ready to find another job. many people, especially nurses and docs, switch jobs a lot. it's just that it seemed that i was so close to being done with orientation, and i openned my mouth the wrong time, the wrong way. i really don't know if that is all there is to it. as i said in another post, they didn't seem to want to keep up with a systematic well and consistently evaluated orientation process. i don't know how that can be effectively accomplished with eight different "orienter-preceptor" people. and i don't know how that can be done with out the right kind of weekly evaluation and sign-off of documentation. ???
but as i said, there has to be a greater reason. they said i'm on track clinically. so even if it is about be growing in terms of relating with others--which i often do well, but i have my moments--and in certain circles of nursing, those moments, even when relatively painless, are not understood or tolerated. i am learning though that so much of it really is about perception, perception, perception.
the other part is for me to stay focused on my schooling and other important responsibilities. thank goodness i am carrying a 4.0.
thanks again.

when combining medications and supplements, you have to be cautious, i hope your pcp is aware of all medications as well as all supplements and the dosages that you're taking?

would you be able to come off the 12 hr. nights and onto days?

i hope you're able to get back to running soon, it is a great stress reliever!

congratulations on carrying a 4.0 with all that you are going through!!!! :w00t:

Whispera, MSN, RN · Mar 26, 2009

I see quite a bit of medical advice, including recommendation of medications here. Please stop!

Galaxy1 · Mar 26, 2009

hey its ok i am an annoying nurse also they will get over it. most nurses are annoying anyway. just take care of those under your care and do your job and you'll be fine. because if you dont do your job those nursing wont rub you the wrong way... they will put a knife in your back after they buy you a cup of coffee.

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Mar 26, 2009

Vivelle Dot estrogen patches are made from bioidentical hormones, and do not carry the same risks as equine derived HRT.

Many docs feel that progestine is only needed if a pt still has a uterus- to protect the endometrium from the effects of estrogen.

Here is a book on HRT written by an endocrinologist who was at the Cleveland Clinic-

http://www.amazon.com/Hormonally-Vulnerable-Woman-unwanted-perimenopause/dp/B000GG4LVM/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238045207&sr=8-2

A lot of women who do not want to take HRT have taken black cohosh, but this herb has been linked to liver damage and failure.

http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/BlackCohosh.asp

twinner2 · Mar 26, 2009

This may seem simple, but is there a way for you to simply pause before you respond to a question or comment from a coworker? Because you are aware of your behaviour, perhaps it may help to just stop for a moment before you reply. This may help if you try it, at least until everything else is straightened out!

Best of luck!

**need advice on a bit of a problem**

need advice on a bit of a problem