Why do I hate this

99_99africa · Apr 15, 2006

Nursing is a culture, a way of life, it is exciting you live , eat and breath nursing. All who enter should aquire knowledge and skills that enable nurses to cope with stress. All must be treated with dignity and respect including the nursing staff. The behavior of the doctor is not acceptable, are you not able to approach, management concerning his behavior.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Apr 15, 2006

Need some advice.
I am down to my last week of orientation. I have switched to nights a week ago which is where I want to be. HOWEVER. I think I hate this job, I hate my preceptor (like her as a person, hate her as a preceptor) hate surly nasty doctors who yell at me for not reminding them that they have not done their job (I had to call one back when I realized that he didn't give me a whole and complete order and he yelled at me for not catching the error!!!) I told that my strength is patient interaction, but I'm discouraged from pt interation. This is my first job since graduation. I'm 44 and I want to quit. I have to leave to go to work in 25 minutes and I'm no where ready to leave. Is this what nursing is?????????Please help!!!!!!!!

What you are experiencing is reality shock---it happens to all new grads when they find that the kind of nursing they learned in school bears absolutely NO resemblance to real life.

The first year is really tough, and there is no way around it but THROUGH it. Hang in there, ask your manager if you can extend your orientation time and switch preceptors, and whatever you do, don't take grumpy doctors personally! They are human like everyone else, and they're not really angry at YOU, they may just be a hurry and they don't like having their time wasted. They don't know or care that you're new and still learning the ropes, so unless they cross the line into actual verbal or physical abuse (cursing, getting in your face etc.) it's best to remember that it's really not about you........and next time, just be sure to have your ducks lined up when you call one of them.

In the meantime, just know that every experienced nurse on the planet has been through similar things, and that nursing is truly learned 'on the job'---nobody graduates knowing automatically how to be a nurse, it is a skill that takes a lifetime to master, and an instinct that is developed only after many encounters with many different situations.......and even then, we never know it all.

Hope this helps you a little. Good luck, and DON'T QUIT!!

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Apr 16, 2006

the first year out is emotionally draining. there is so much going on for you to learn. much of the same thing happened to me in my first job. if you can think fast enough of a snappy answer to give back to a nasty doctor, go for it. i've heard nurses flat out tell doctors over the phone that they don't appreciate the way they just been spoken to when all they've done is called them because they made a mistake. it sobers them up quick. then, i've seen the same nurses make a beeline for those doctors the first time they see them in person and introduce themselves as "i was the nurse that you yelled at on the phone the other night". it does make you feel real good inside if you can get up the nerve to do things like that. the longer you stay in nursing, the easier it gets to lay into these nasty docs when they act like horses butts. i think everyone is told about not having enough time for the patient interaction thing! i knew of a nurse, however, who was able to talk with her patients and still get her work done. it requires good organizational and prioritizing skills and that takes some time to learn. don't lose sight of the goal of interacting with patients though. it is doable. i've found more about patients to help solve some of the problems going on with them because i was one of the few nurses who took time to sit and talk with them for just a few more efficiently used minutes. however, at this point in your training, you really need to focus on mastering the technical tasks and developing speed with them. you also have a lot of policies you have to learn to follow as well. for now, focus on those and learning how to organize your time. as you develop proficiency in those skills you can start working in some time for quality patient interaction. i was shocked to find that all those quality nursing things we focused on in school were suddenly moved to the back burner by my employers when i became an employee. what will make you further frustrated is that many staff nurses will buy into this thinking. don't lose sight of the quality care you want to bring to the profession. you will not be alone, but you may have difficulty finding like minded nurses for awhile.

Goldenhare · Apr 16, 2006

Thanks that helped. As for the doctor, I will take responsibility when I don't ask everything that I should have. But this doctor couldn't even manage to give me a complete order. He didn't have to do anything else! I won't take that responsibilty for him to do a basic doctor job!

wonderbee, BSN, RN · Apr 16, 2006

Unfortunately, it appears that being a patient advocate includes performing duties that seem to be MD related rather than nursing. For instance, I assumed that doctors wrote their own orders. I found out not so. If I want something done, even if the doctor is standing right there, in many cases I have to write a verbal order and have it signed off which means that I had better know how to write orders. It seems like the nurse is responsible for everything and the buck begins and ends here.

I too have had similar feelings about my preceptor. I like her but she's not giving me what I need. She is at the end of her patience and I am having a confidence problem. It creates stress for both of us which is unnecessary and not helpful to me. With only one week left, I have sought out and asked for a new preceptor. My unit director had no problem with the switch. It's a professional decision. Speak up for yourself. Ask for what you need and know that nursing school is over and real world nursing bears no resemblence to it. All it did was get us in the door.

Hope you're feeling better about nursing soon.

oldiebutgoodie, RN · Apr 17, 2006

Boy, I could write a book about preceptors. I am orienting to a critical care unit, at the end of a 6 month orientation. (Please, let's leave the discussion of new grads in the ICU for another thread.)

I have had so many bad preceptors, it is unbelieveable. Here is the run-down:

1. Watch me do this, but don't touch!

2. You can be my tech!

3. You can do everything! (patient in DIC, 6 doctors on consult to call, preceptor chatting with friends, orientee drowning, preceptor then reports to management that orientee is NOT READY for prime time.)

4. You are scum of the earth! What do they TEACH you people in nursing school today? Just observe my greatness!

I changed preceptors once already, as Evil preceptor (see points #3 and 4 above) basically made me feel incompetent. (sample remark after I failed in trying to start an IV on elderly lady with no veins--"You know, I would have been able to get that one.")

The key is to be VERY assertive with your educator or manager in getting the preceptors you want. I ended up with 2 pretty good preceptors, but their major problem is that I am ready to fly on my own, and they won't get out of my face--example: I am in the middle of writing nursing note on computer, and preceptor thinks it's time to turn the patient. (Gee, could I maybe set my own priorities on some of these non-life-threatening tasks? And besides, YOU are the one who was nagging me to write my note.) Or preceptor sends in an "experienced nurse" to start an IV, even though I need the practice, patient is 23, sedated, and has veins as big as the Lincoln tunnel (I actually threw all the "experienced nurses" out of the room, and started the IV successfully.)

The problem is this: Preceptors don't use the nursing process when orienting. They need to:

1. Assess the person they are precepting: skill level, learning styles, etc.

2/3. Diagnose/Plan: What does newbie need to work on? How should be accomplish that?

4. Implement the plan

5. Evaluate: Is everything working in our plan? What can we do differently?

I think there could be a major improvement in the precepting process, if:

1. Preceptors were trained

2. Preceptors were PAID MORE to do it

3. Precepting was spaced out (a lot of our nurses are really burned out on it, and I don't blame them).

Okay, I know that when I am precepting, I will have a totally different attitude. But this is my story for now, and I'm stickin' to it!

BTW, I am a new nurse, but have worked in other industries before, so I am not new to the working world.

Oldibutgoodie

Katnip, RN · Apr 17, 2006

I hated my first nursing job. And I started in my 40s, too. Part of it is the reality shock. Part of it was that I was on a really nasty, backbiting unit.

I changed jobs. I loved working emergency. I'm on sabbatical now for personal reasons, and not sure I'll go back to emergency or move on to something else.

You need to find your niche. That will help make the difficult parts more tolerable.

jzprple · Apr 20, 2006

It's so nice to know I'm not alone out there on the--"hey...leave me alone for 5 seconds so I can organize my thoughts instead of focusing on you nagging me!!" Supposedly this too shall pass and we'll all be better for it in the end. Thanks for sharing!

Boy, I could write a book about preceptors. I am orienting to a critical care unit, at the end of a 6 month orientation. (Please, let's leave the discussion of new grads in the ICU for another thread.)
I have had so many bad preceptors, it is unbelieveable. Here is the run-down:
1. Watch me do this, but don't touch!
2. You can be my tech!
3. You can do everything! (patient in DIC, 6 doctors on consult to call, preceptor chatting with friends, orientee drowning, preceptor then reports to management that orientee is NOT READY for prime time.)
4. You are scum of the earth! What do they TEACH you people in nursing school today? Just observe my greatness!
I changed preceptors once already, as Evil preceptor (see points #3 and 4 above) basically made me feel incompetent. (sample remark after I failed in trying to start an IV on elderly lady with no veins--"You know, I would have been able to get that one.")
The key is to be VERY assertive with your educator or manager in getting the preceptors you want. I ended up with 2 pretty good preceptors, but their major problem is that I am ready to fly on my own, and they won't get out of my face--example: I am in the middle of writing nursing note on computer, and preceptor thinks it's time to turn the patient. (Gee, could I maybe set my own priorities on some of these non-life-threatening tasks? And besides, YOU are the one who was nagging me to write my note.) Or preceptor sends in an "experienced nurse" to start an IV, even though I need the practice, patient is 23, sedated, and has veins as big as the Lincoln tunnel (I actually threw all the "experienced nurses" out of the room, and started the IV successfully.)
The problem is this: Preceptors don't use the nursing process when orienting. They need to:
1. Assess the person they are precepting: skill level, learning styles, etc.
2/3. Diagnose/Plan: What does newbie need to work on? How should be accomplish that?
4. Implement the plan
5. Evaluate: Is everything working in our plan? What can we do differently?
I think there could be a major improvement in the precepting process, if:
1. Preceptors were trained
2. Preceptors were PAID MORE to do it
3. Precepting was spaced out (a lot of our nurses are really burned out on it, and I don't blame them).
Okay, I know that when I am precepting, I will have a totally different attitude. But this is my story for now, and I'm stickin' to it!
BTW, I am a new nurse, but have worked in other industries before, so I am not new to the working world.
Oldibutgoodie

Goldenhare · Apr 24, 2006

Keep the preceptor stories coming. My preceptors were all ok except the last one who does alot of the type of thing posted above, especially the "why aren't you writing your note" and then when you are says "the pt needs turned NOW" or whatever other silly thing has crossed her mind. My previous preceptor had a nasty habit of saying "WHAT"S WRONG?" every time I tried to ask a question. I get turned loose tomorrow and things have been a bit better lately. I really appreciate all the advice as it helps me not to be so hard on myself. Keep it coming please! I knew I could count on you guys!:)

Beckyboo · Apr 29, 2006

I'm also a new grad in my forties orienting. I really hate it. I have no idea if I am making acceptable progress and never hear anything except what I didn't do. I was never even shown where things were. I really hate what I'm doing but I've sent my sights on being there a year just to prove to myself that I can do it. I hope I don't find out on my last day of orientation that I suck. I guess I will be more proactive with requesting what I need and finding out if I am doing ok.

newbieohionurse · May 2, 2006

You are cerainly not alone. Just about all my friends from nursing school are miserable, as am I. We are all about 2-3 months into our first jobs and it is so much harder than any of us anticipated. What is frustrating me is I don't know how to help myself. I know that organization and prioritization is key, but how do I get there. How do I get organized?!?!? And I am terrified of the phone, everytime another dept calls or I have to call a doctor, they always ask me something I don't know. I try to stay on top of things, but I feel like it is impossible to know the patients entire chart when there is so much else going on. All nurses have told me it takes about 6 months - 1 year to feel better. I wish I could fast forward that time.