Why do I hate this

wannabeEDnurse · May 2, 2006

Wow! The preceptor stories I'm reading are frightening! I have an AWESOME preceptor. I'm also a new grad (41-yrs old, though), working in the ED. So as you can imagine, we get everything from MI's, to broken limbs, to chapped lips. (Yes, really!) I go from completely overwhelmed to thinking "I can do this!" Usually it's the former, though. Last nt I had to stick a 5-yr old boy w/butterfly to get blood. All the while, he was jerking and screaming. They don't teach you how to do that in nsg school!

And do you know how hard it is to do an in-out cath on a lady? You would think finding that hole would be easy, but it looks different on EVERYBODY! Really! And yes, I took anatomy, but still! I pray for em to have a tampon in so I can rule out a hole! ha! (Geez, this would be vulgar if you weren't a bunch of nurses reading this!)

To think I'm going to be responsible for 4-5 rooms in June scares me to death. I'm not nearly ready. Fortunately, they "precept" you for 12 weeks in the ED. I will probably take every week!

Good luck to all other newbies out there!

Jodi, RN

RunnerRN, BSN, RN · May 2, 2006

I can second (third, fourth) the reality shock problem. I actually made plans to go back to school and get my education degree - was seriously days away from quitting, but my husband convinced me to give it another day. Then another, and another. Finally, I had one day when I went home and DH asked "How was your day?" I answered "It was horrible....busy and chaotic and too many patients......but I LOVED it!" I finally had to just get over the "hump" and get to the point that I enjoyed nursing.

I have a 2 year committment, and thinking that I had to stay 2 years was so overwhelming. Breaking it down to "one more day" 12 times a month was helpful. Also, admitting "I don't know" was very good for me. Once I convinced myself it was okay to say those 3 words, things were much easier.

There is definitely a difference between not liking your unit, not liking nursing, not liking your preceptor, and reality shock. Change the things you can, but realize when it is time to cut your losses - you're in your 40s, I assume you know yourself well enough to know when something isn't right for you. For me, I had to make sure I was giving 110% before quitting, or I would have never forgiven myself.

Good luck.....and hang in there!

Goldenhare · May 4, 2006

:scrying:

What is frustrating me is I don't know how to help myself. I know that organization and prioritization is key, but how do I get there. How do I get organized?!?!? And I am terrified of the phone, everytime another dept calls or I have to call a doctor, they always ask me something I don't know. I try to stay on top of things, but I feel like it is impossible to know the patients entire chart when there is so much else going on. All nurses have told me it takes about 6 months - 1 year to feel better. I wish I could fast forward that time.

This is so true! If you review the chart, you then find out that you've missed the doctor rounds. If you make that phone call or talk to the family, then you miss the new orders. It never ends. I have some decent nights but my last night started well and then went down hill FAST. I couldn't find meds for a transfer pt who we had had all day and the nursing supervisor got involved. In the end, they were somewhere obvious, and I had overlooked them. Never mind that no one had looked for them ALL DAY. So I tried to do the right thing and it got so messy because I tried to do the right thing. Meanwhile, I had a pt who had 3 meds scheduled at the same time. I had one more med to give to her and I told the day nurse that I would give it before I left. I went in there and she had pulled out her IV access. I already had to pass an IV that was functional but beginning to infiltrate to the day nurse because things started to go downhill so rapidly for me that I didn't get to it. I didn't finish my chart checks, forgot to do bladder training on another pt until 6am. It was so awful. I felt so badly to pass all that stuff to day shift but my boss kept saying, "you gotta leave". My charting wasn't finished either. The good days right now don't outweigh the bad. I don't know how to do any better than I am doing and I am told that I worry to much. Oh did I mention that I thought that I had made a med error as well. It turned out that the doctor wrote the order incorrectly. I want to like this and sometimes I do, but I am always afraid that I am going to written up for something and I can't seem to keep up no matter how many pts I have. Its very depressing and disappointing. I must say in my defense that I had just had a review with my boss and she said that I was doing ok and that no one had said that I wasn't doing my work and that the pts love me. But I feel like I am failing myself and unable to hold the standard. Does it really get better?

Daytonite, BSN, RN · May 5, 2006

Yes, it gets better. What you are struggling with is multi-tasking. As you become more proficient and acclimated to the job you will become more savvy about heading off problems before they even happen as well as learning where those little nooks and crannies are that meds can hide in that you forgot to look in. This all comes with experience and time. As you become more proficient in your skills and tasks you will have more time for some of the things that you don't seem to find enough time for right now. You should be starting out each shift with a To Do list either written or in your head. It will help you get back on track whenever you get out of focus. 30 years as a nurse and I still go in to work with a To Do list in my mind. If you are finding any particular skill or nursing function that you feel you are particularly weak in right now, then do a little self-actuated remedial course in it.

May I make a suggestion? Chart checks. Charting. Brains. I would set a time that I needed to start chart checks, let's say an hour before the end of my shift. I would start checking for orders. As I checked each chart I would make some kind of mark on my report sheet ("brains") so I'd know I checked that particular chart. If I get called away I only have to pull out my brains to know who else's chart I need to check. Less info to have to keep on my mental To Do list that way. Make whatever you use for your brains work for you. Same thing goes for charting. Scribble something on one chart and mark off that it's done on your brains. There were many times over the years when I clocked out, but stayed to finish up paperwork. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but sometimes when you are learning it's the only time at work when your time is your own to manage as you want.

wonderbee, BSN, RN · May 5, 2006

Do you ever get that instant light bulb thing when you remember something you didn't do AFTER your shift is over and you're home and it's like two days later, and it was a big something? Horror upon horrors, I didn't chart an entire shift's I&O's on one particular pt. It was a bad night doomed for the crapper from the very beginning with a very unstable pt. needing a swan placement before I even got to do my assessments. She was anuric, no urine at all, so I figured ok, i'll do it last because it will be easy to remember. Nope. But two days later when I was laying in bed I did. :trout::trout: Everyone knew this pt. was anuric. This was not a new turn of events. But my gawd! Where was my brain?

It's all a learning experience. A steep learning curve and trial by fire. It's painful and stressful and we learn from our mistakes. I just hate those damned mistakes!

FutureRN2005 · May 8, 2006

Im sorry that you are having such a rough time, but it helps me a little to read these posts and see that I am not alone. Having a good preceptor can really make or break you. My problem right now is that I feel as if I am being tossed between different preceptors every shift. I have an excellent preceptor, but since she has been out I have been with whoever is available and it has gone from bad to worse. I have made some silly simple mistakes, nothing to cause anyone any harm. But then I come home and spend all my time dwelling on everything I should have done differently and wondering how I am ever going to manage when I am on my own. I just keep thinking things have got to get better.... :rolleyes:

Goldenhare · May 8, 2006

"Yes, it gets better."

PLEASE GOD! I hope you are right. If it weren't for the people I work for, I would have quit. I have a shift tomorrow night and have spent all weekend giving myself pep talks. I'm so nervous still! I will definately take your suggestions and try to put them to use. Thank you for your encouragement. I have wanted to do nursing for 20 years and I don't want to keep feeling worthless at it. I couldn't keep plugging away at it if it wasn't going to get any better. Please keep the suggestions coming!!

rntoben2008 · May 8, 2006

You are too funny. I enjoyed that little bit of humor there :chuckle

I am just about to begin nursing school and I am going to be 41 in the fall. I have heard horror stories about school, did not realize there are more hurdles once your out in the field. I also learned they do not teach you to start IV's or draw blood in school, that this must be learned through experience, for the most part is this true??? I think you would have to have a good preceptor for a few months being a new grad. I enjoy all the confident advice coming in on this post. I have been a nurse aide for years, but the nursing role is all new to me. I hope you all have much success with your new careers and do not give up. It will get better I imagine the more confident you become in your skills with this new job. Hang in there.

Tweety, BSN, RN · May 8, 2006

When you're new you're hypersensitive to all that goes on around you, especially the negative. There's a lot of "I hate" in you're post. I think you're feeling the typical "reality shock" phase of nursing, that when we read about it in school we don't think is going to happen to us, because we're different.

Focus on your strengths, the positives, listen to areas you have to improve in.

Realize you don't have to keep your first job forever, in fact 99.999% of nurses don't.

Also realize no one is holding a gun to your head making you go. You're going to work because................fill in the blanks and make them positive. If nothing else put one foot in front of the other and ride this time out.

Good luck. I had a lot of those feelings myself. Sometimes I still do.

grentea · May 10, 2006

I have to say, I think I've actually started to like my job, which is just in time since I came off of orientation this week. The unit I'm on now is just right for me. I've been sleeping well at night (not at all plagued by worrying about things I may or may not have done during the day while I'm TRYING to sleep) and most of the time, I feel like I have things under control while I'm working. Sure I had some crazy preceptors, including one who said (real life quote), "I don't understand why you wash your hands so much!" but I'm just happy to be on my own now with some nice co-workers and on a unit that doesn't drive me bonkers (at least most of the time). After everything I've been through with finding the right place for me in nursing, I feel incredibly lucky.

Goldenhare · May 11, 2006

I've been off orientation ( 3 month) and I still feel slow and incompetent. There are nights that it is ok but I still am not taking a full pt load and I am busy the whole night. I like the people I work with, but I am really getting down as I am going as fast as I can and am mentally exhausted come morning, but it is not good enough. When I go faster, I start to make mistakes or miss things, like during assessments. I HATE calling doctors and I HATE doing admissions. So many things seem inefficient, like there should be a better way. I still feel really nervous everytime I go in to work and sometimes feel like vomiting. Its getting very depressing!: :cry:

Tweety-you make some good points. I will try to take your advice. I really want this to work as I've waited 20 years to get my nursing degree.

justmanda · Jun 8, 2006

Need some advice.
I am down to my last week of orientation. I have switched to nights a week ago which is where I want to be. HOWEVER. I think I hate this job, I hate my preceptor (like her as a person, hate her as a preceptor) hate surly nasty doctors who yell at me for not reminding them that they have not done their job (I had to call one back when I realized that he didn't give me a whole and complete order and he yelled at me for not catching the error!!!) I told that my strength is patient interaction, but I'm discouraged from pt interation. This is my first job since graduation. I'm 44 and I want to quit. I have to leave to go to work in 25 minutes and I'm no where ready to leave. Is this what nursing is?????????Please help!!!!!!!!

Unfortunate fact about nursing. For every one minute you spend with a patient, you will spend ten minutes, if not more, with the chart (checking boxes, doing chart checks, doing checklists, consents, rewriting mars, studying history, looking up labs, getting educational materials together, etc.) The surly doctors just come with the territory (and most of them aren't bad). You'll get used to them in no time....just like after awhile mothers aren't bothered by the sound of shrieking kids.