I feel I have done everything by the book my whole life. I didn't have a boyfriend till I was 16, I didn't have my first kiss till I was 16 also, I went to college, I got good grades, I got accepted to nursing school...graduated, got married, and got my bachelor's degree in nursing 2 years later after my associates. I did EXACTLY what I thought I was supposed to do. Except...I didn't attain the career job I thought I'd have by now. And this kills me.
I have so much anger and aggression towards those friends and people I know that were able to attain a hospital/acute care nurse job right out of nursing school (might I add..right after receiving their 2 year associate's in nursing). It seems everyone I know that attained an acute care nursing job just got lucky. They didn't know anyone to help them receive their job, but yet they got it. Me, on the other hand, have had at least 2 acute care nursing job interviews in which I KNEW someone that got me an interview...and it didn't help.
I know what you're saying right now, "you must have not interviewed very well". I did. I had SEVERAL interviews prior to these two acute care nursing job interviews and I thought both times I NAILED them. I had several interviews else where before them and I thought I was pretty good at selling myself by then. But apparently what I had on paper and how I presented myself in the interview wouldn't have mattered anyhow, they had candidates chosen already in their heads. After all, it is about "who you know".
Here's why I think I deserve my career job. My career job is being a registered nurse in a hospital. And I have an interest being a surgical nurse. I was so "awe stricken" when I did my surgical rotation in my associate's nursing program. And I've wondered many times why? Is it because I am attracted to art? Am a creative person that has always been good and steady with my hands? Or maybe it's because I like to see what's behind what our eye's can't interpret from the outside? I don't know, and maybe I won't know till I finally, if ever, become surgical nurse. My real passion in life... However, I would take ANY job as an acute care nurse at a hospital because I feel it's where I will be able to learn the most, and feel like a GOOD nurse. I've worked a little over 2 years in long term/rehabilitation nursing.
Once believing I'd NEVER be able to hang in the industry as a charge nurse over 28+ patients, I surprisingly have... but there are some days I feel like a "******" nurse because I didn't do everything to a "T" how I would have done if I had more time. Being scolded if I'm even five minutes on overtime, I sometimes am unable to do a thorough research on all my patients. I LIKE to sit down and read their whole history and physical. I feel equipped and better than ever being their nurse. It's SUCH an awesome feeling to be able to answer ever detail about them in "your" charting. Makes me feel like super woman! Proof to myself I do CARE about my patients, and how I deep down know in myself I would be an awesome nurse in the hospital setting. I sometimes imagine how I would respond after I was offered a job in the acute setting in a personal one-on-one sitting. It made me cry.
I HATE how I sometimes regret going into the nursing profession because I've been unhappy with all the nursing jobs I've had. When I was in nursing school I was working as a Radiology transport tech aide for a major hospital in my area, and every nurse I knew in the hospital setting seemed happy, fulfilled, and satisfied. I envied them, I wanted to do exactly what they were doing...one time I even told a nurse something wasn't right about a patient I brought back from Radiology. He actually coded right after I said that and died. Since then, I will always trust my instincts. And so far it's worked out to my advantage every time.
Alright, I guess it's apparent that I desperately want an acute care nursing job in a hospital setting... It's my only want in life right now. I feel once I attain it I won't feel as guilty becoming pregnant. Being the girl that "goes by the book", I feel I need to accomplish this goal before I set forth bringing a child into this world. My husband wants children so bad right now and I do too...expect I haven't attained MY career goals like he has... And I hate to say it, but I'm jealous how someone like himself that has NEVER attended college, make more money and has become more successful than myself. After I've spent over 20K on my education!? It's just appalling to me (my husband is a CHP officer making over 100K a year). Can ya blame me?! I'm jealous. I'm of course SO appreciative and happy he's doing something he's always wanted to do, making that kind of income, but I am bitter. I can't even tell you how many nights I've given up on sleep to study through out the night prior to a big test. I'm angry deep inside, because I feel like it didn't matter.
WHEN will I be happy and satisfied in my career choice?! If I EVER get my dream job, whether it be in a hospital setting or in another setting I never would have dreamed of, I will always remember to give those like myself in my current situation a fighting CHANCE. I think I would offer the job to every interviewer to just see their reaction. If they react anyway I think how I would react, I would give it to them hands down. You can talk all you want about how much passion you have about something, but your emotion towards your passion doesn't surface to the top...it ain't there.
"It seems everyone I know that attained an acute care nursing job just got lucky. They didn't know anyone to help them receive their job, but yet they got it."
They lied to you hon. Someone got them the job. Often family working in the system, or a very high up adminstration connection. Trust me on this because it's true for new grads.
I'll add that they won't tell you, that is, until they forget to keep it a secret and accidently spill.
Last edit by netglow on Jan 3, '13