New RN; I want to quit my job already.

Nurses New Nurse

Published

Hello,

I am a new graduate RN who has been so lucky in her current job in a PA hospital on a busy intermediate/telemetry floor. ( I was an aide for about 2 years on the floor- so everyone had all these crazy high expectations for me) I have been here as an RN for about 6 months now (I've been on my own for about 2 months now- 12 hour night shift). I am trying to give it time, honestly I am. But I can't do it anymore. I have come to dread my job, I hate it when I'm there, I hate it when I'm home. I feel like I am always in a fog and my relationships and friendships are failing because of it. I can't go to the gym anymore or have time to cook healthy (which is things I used to love doing!), or do anything I once loved. I have seemed to find myself in this depression and constant anxiety. I am always trying to catch up on sleep and when I'm with my friends and family I can barely even follow the conversations I am so tired. I am always crying (at home, at work- embarrassing!-, on the drive home from work). I don't feel like I fit in on my floor (with the nurses, I am so focused on getting my work done) and I am a complete nervous wreck. I am so disappointed in myself; I am so bad at IVs, I feel so stupid on my job, all I have time to do is get my tasks done. I am so scared I am not going to notice when my patients going down the tubes or what I am going to do when that dreaded first code for me happens. When I finally do have a good day the day shift comes in and gets mad at me for not knowing something little about the patient that I didn't think to ask the day shift I got report from. I'm miserable, depressed, and at a loss of what to do. I can't quit because I need to have another job in order to do that. And if you haven't noticed the job market is not that great for a new graduate with less than a year's experience. I've discussed some of my issues with my boss but he just says "that's nursing, this is normal". I don't think it's normal to be crying almost every day and losing yourself because of it. I really don't want to go to a LTC or a SAR because I feel like it will be even worse (med passing and not having enough time for my patients) Does anyone have any words of inspiration or ideas of other places (or search terms for new jobs) to apply to?

PS. Let it be known I do not want to quit nursing, just my current job. I know nursing is for me. I love nursing, I really do. What makes my days are my patients and when I have a chance to sit down and spend time with them and not worry about all the charting I have to get done and all the medications I am behind on. I had a patient that was going to die and it was so amazing to sit there and hold her hand and make it easier for her to go. That being said I'd love to go into hospice/palliative. But it seems even for that you need > 2 years experience! I think it's really just this floor that is killing me. The patient ratios at night are crazy for patients that are so critical. Ugh. ( I don't feel like I am giving my patients all the time they deserve) That being said my hospital is very small and there are no other floors for me to transfer to. :( Help.

I haven't heard from the OP since January. If I may ask, what did you end up doing, and how did it work out for you?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I am reading this as my stomach is turning for you !! I don't have any advise as I am a new grad who starts working in two weeks. But like you I also will be working on a unit where I have been an aid which I see both positive and negative can come from it. I think if your boss is reassuring you it means she knows that you are going to be an awesome nurse once you get into your own groove. She has known you and can see potential or she would not have kept you on her unit , and she would not tell you it's normal if she felt like you were not going to pull it out and be fabulous !!!!! Just take it one shift at a time and try to turn it off when you leave I am aware I say this because that's my plan but keep your open I am sure I will have a similar post in a few months. It seems to be the norm but try to hold out a year I hear that's the magic number !!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Longhornlillie. I actually ended up sticking with that job for exactly a year and now just accepted a new position at an GI office/ambulatory surgical center. I am nervous because I don't know much about surgical patients but I am excited to learn. I think working Monday to Friday and having no weekends or holidays will be a lot more conductive to my learning :) I'm young and I'm just excited to see all sides of nursing and to find my niche! Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hi, I read your post regarding the new job and all. So, after 1 yr of hospital experience, do you think you will ever go back? Do you think it was worth it to stick it out for 1 yr?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Retrospectively, I believe that working at the hospital taught me a lot that will take with me everywhere--I just think I had a bad experience for a brand new nurse. I went to a floor with high stress and high turn over and night shift. I would like to go back, but a different floor and a different shift.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Things have changed a lot in nursing. The expectations are ridiculous sometimes and if you are inexperienced you can easily be exploited where you work. One of the main reasons is because you are inexperienced and you may not and I will say most likely will not know how to look out for yourself in a nursing field that has it's sharks. You end up getting a shift you may not like, you end up getting too many patients most of the time, ( I am speaking on discharges and admissions that you must take into account), a lot of times actually the most complex patients and you think by working harder things will take a drastic turn for the best but that is most likely not the case. New grads have a higher risk of burn out due to some of these reasons. Nursing doesn't get a ton better, it just gets more manageable in my opinion. You get to where you can balance just enough but you will always feel like you didn't get something done, because you probably missed something and it isn't your fault. You can't do it all, you can only take care of most of the critical or urgent things most of the time, and you must be kind to yourself in regards to this.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Retrospectively, I believe that working at the hospital taught me a lot that will take with me everywhere--I just think I had a bad experience for a brand new nurse. I went to a floor with high stress and high turn over and night shift. I would like to go back, but a different floor and a different shift.

Going back to the hospital may be a better experience for you, but understand that it is rare to be hired directly into the day shift. You may end up working nights and/or rotating if you go back. Mind you, I still think it would be a good thing; but I love my hospital job!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.

irishlynn5

I am a little late on this post BUT I feel like I am you right at this moment of my life!!!

I hope you are doing much better now and since it would be now about year and a half since you started your nursing career I'm sure you are in a better place!!!

I have started in a critical setting about 5 months ago and the stress is starting to get to me...especially in the last few weeks...I'm suppose to go to nights in a few weeks and start on my own (hopefully they will still want me to)...

I feel stupid, picked on, alone and unfairly criticized...super emotional, stressed at work and anxious at home...the home part is the worst recently because I feel like I'm not getting a break constantly worrying about stuff I did or didn't do...ugh...I knew it's not going to be easy but I didn't expect it to hit me this hard...

I really felt for you reading your post and I'm praying you're in a better place right now...I'm hopeful I will be able to successfully transition and survive my first year too!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Didn't read the whole thread but the OP sounds like nights aren't agreeing with them. See if you can get a day or swing shift maybe?

BSN GCU 2014. ED Residency ;)

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hello, I am a new nurse and this sounds exactly like me. I am constantly anxiety ridden about going into work. Once there I feel okay but before and after I am so anxious. I know this post was from a while ago, so I was wondering how you are doing and what you have done to help yourself. Any advice would be appreciated. I really hope that things are better for you now.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment