I am still upset and so frustrated at this point tonight---so bear with me while I vent. This is long, so if you read until the end - thank you so much!
I am working in my first nursing job on a very, very busy med-surg floor at an inter-city teaching hospital. We have 7 patients each and I am in 4/6 week of orientation (3rd week on unit). My preceptor is okay. She's a bit distracted by personal issues and is often unavailable to me. But, we get along well and I making it work.
The problem: another nurse on the unit (with her own preceptee) pulls me aside several times a week (but in front of others) and tells me that I am offending her in some way. It's all personal = I "look" stressed and need to stop it. I "sound" defensive when trying to give an explanation for why I did something. Last week she yelled at me about something, then later apologized (sort of) and said she was stressed, sick and on steroids. Today was the worst- she jumped all over me and said I had to put up with her --and any nurse on my unit -- criticizing me. Not for my nursing skills or anything related to patient care. This is all about my facial expressions when she's criticizing me or how I stand or what words I use. She also said that she talks differently to me than the more experienced nurses because I am a still on orientation. They have earned the right to be spoken to with respect but I have not. I've tried apologizing for offending her and said that I am just really focusing on my job and trying to keep on track. I am usually just barely keeping my head above water and often behind on things. It does not help when she gives me these talks.
I feel that this is BS and that I'm being bullied. I have heard about the "nurses eating their young" phenomenon. Am I overreacting or is this just wrong?
I stupidly shared my feelings with my preceptor today. I told her her that I was worried about my relationship with this other nurse. I told her that I sensed this other nurse was constantly angry with me and felt somewhat bullied. I asked her for advice about how to work with this nurse. She turned around and told this other nurse what I'd said. This led to a huge chewing out by the other nurse. I thought that my preceptor was supposed to have my back and help me navigate. I feel really let down and very alone. I don't want to let this other nurse break me down, but I am so frustrated now that I don't know what to do.
It's just so disappointing. i am trying so hard to get along and do my best here. I try to treat everyone with respect and kindness. What can I do to repair this situation?
Thanks for any advice kind nurses!!