I think that one huge mistake most of us make, myself included, is worrying what other people will think of us. I used to be somewhat proud, but God had a plan to get me over that. Yes, I am a Christian, and I have learned that humility is a gift earned in a difficult way sometimes. I have two adopted sons who have been in all SORTS of trouble- legal problems, theft, probation, etc. I used to worry about what other people thought, until circumstances beyond my control took it out of my hands. I live in a fairly small city, and all of my friends and acquaintances knew about our issues. Some were supportive; some were judgmental ("well, I would have known how to parent the child...") We did our very best to parent them. We have one other son, a surprise biological son, who has never had any such problems and is a bright and successful young man. Re: the other two, I have actually had well-meaning friends say such hurtful things as "I wish I had had the chance to spend some time with him..." Oh my God, we were loving parents and did our very best- we did what parents do- give love, have boundaries and limits, the same as we do with our biological son. The things that happened just happened.
Both boys are maturing now and settling down into fairly safe and happy lives. After years of grief, hair-pulling, tears, sorrow, suicidal thoughts...you name it... I have reached the place where I have learned to cope with the poor choices my two sons have made, AND I have learned NOT to worry about what other people will think. They will think whatever they think. They may say differently to your face, but they will think what they think and that is the truth.
You find out who your real friends are when everything comes out. I don't believe in keeping secrets. I don't need anyone for a friend who isn't a friend for REAL. If your life is less than storybook perfect or different than expected by others, trust me, you will find out when the rubber hits the road who your real friends are- and you really don't need the fair-weather friends.