What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 59

and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More

  1. by   charebec65
    These are from my bro-in-law who is an ER doc...

    Late teen/early 20's girl, boyfriend dumped her at ER, their sex games had included coke bottle in an orifice in which it didn't belong...a suction formed and she couldn't get it out.

    (this one's pathetic) Aphasic elderly man in LTC facility. Brought in d/t incessant crying of a couple of hours duration. Bob figured out that the only fix he needed was being repositioned in his wc. He'd been sitting on his testicles.......
  2. by   Kingbandit
    sitting in Taco bell drive tru when hit from behind @ all of 2mph Manager trainee stated well I guess we'll have to pay for this 7admits to ED c neck/back pain 2 MDs half got toradol and vicodin to go home half got vics and Percocets argument insued over why Pt A got vics and Pt B got Percs Security escorted family out that night
  3. by   JessicRN
    Just today we got a pt 24 female took 2 motrin instead of one by accident her legs are now shaky. Came by ambulance.
  4. by   epiphany
    Quote from Kingbandit
    sitting in Taco bell drive tru when hit from behind @ all of 2mph Manager trainee stated well I guess we'll have to pay for this 7admits to ED c neck/back pain 2 MDs half got toradol and vicodin to go home half got vics and Percocets argument insued over why Pt A got vics and Pt B got Percs Security escorted family out that night
    huh?
  5. by   Spritenurse1210
    Quote from charebec65
    These are from my bro-in-law who is an ER doc...

    Late teen/early 20's girl, boyfriend dumped her at ER, their sex games had included coke bottle in an orifice in which it didn't belong...a suction formed and she couldn't get it out.

    (this one's pathetic) Aphasic elderly man in LTC facility. Brought in d/t incessant crying of a couple of hours duration. Bob figured out that the only fix he needed was being repositioned in his wc. He'd been sitting on his testicles.......

    story 1.
    Story 2. Poor baby.
  6. by   2real
    TNTC...Rectally inserted vibrator , unable to retrieve - spent 4 hrs in ER, surgeon finally called in- tried for another 2 hrs. Pt was finally taken to OR to remove under sedation. Spent 5 hrs in pacu--- ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!! He was too tired to go home -- since he'd BEEN UP ALL NIGHT!! I finally sat hi up - tossed him his clothes and told him to SLEEP AT HOME! I missed my family Holiday celebrationfor this yutz. He was too embarrassed to go home - his family was in the waiting room thinking he had some tragic accident--- nobody told them! HIPPA>>gotta luv it!
    Another day- a man with rectal pain-- bic razor in bowel. Looks mighty impressive on xray! He " got a little carried away while masturbating" WITH A RAZOR???
    A pt from the mental health institution was sent for PRIAPISM. It seems his favorite passtime is masturbation. This time the blood clotted and it could not drain-- and became excrutiating! The urologist stuck needles into it all over like a pin cushion! What a sight--( nightmare) then he(urologist) began to stroke up on the shaft of this rather large , swollen , bulging penis to try to push the clots out todrain thru the needles he inserted. I told him that i didn't want to tell him how to do his job but... in my experience, pumping a penis like that is just gonna keep it in the stae it's in! We chuckled,. Finally he decided to remove the needles and wrap with a pressure dressing and coban. All the while the penis is still quite erect and enlarged. Now the patient is in restaints, because whenever his hands are free he compulsively wants to masturbate all the time. So he's flat on his back with this large protrusion. Now I have to transport my patient thru the halls to be admitted! The halls are aflutter with visitors, children, administration this time of day. So I throw a sheet over him and there's no disguising THE THING.
    THIS IS NO LIE, NO EXXAGERATION-- THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF 15 YRS OF WORKING IN THE ER! I still get razzed about it .
    I have others but these are some of the most memorable of the top of my head.
  7. by   Victoriakem
    Quote from Nurse Vicky in Illinois
    TNTC...Rectally inserted vibrator , unable to retrieve - spent 4 hrs in ER, surgeon finally called in- tried for another 2 hrs. Pt was finally taken to OR to remove under sedation. Spent 5 hrs in pacu--- ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!! He was too tired to go home -- since he'd BEEN UP ALL NIGHT!! I finally sat hi up - tossed him his clothes and told him to SLEEP AT HOME! I missed my family Holiday celebrationfor this yutz. He was too embarrassed to go home - his family was in the waiting room thinking he had some tragic accident--- nobody told them! HIPPA>>gotta luv it!
    Another day- a man with rectal pain-- bic razor in bowel. Looks mighty impressive on xray! He " got a little carried away while masturbating" WITH A RAZOR???
    A pt from the mental health institution was sent for PRIAPISM. It seems his favorite passtime is masturbation. This time the blood clotted and it could not drain-- and became excrutiating! The urologist stuck needles into it all over like a pin cushion! What a sight--( nightmare) then he(urologist) began to stroke up on the shaft of this rather large , swollen , bulging penis to try to push the clots out todrain thru the needles he inserted. I told him that i didn't want to tell him how to do his job but... in my experience, pumping a penis like that is just gonna keep it in the stae it's in! We chuckled,. Finally he decided to remove the needles and wrap with a pressure dressing and coban. All the while the penis is still quite erect and enlarged. Now the patient is in restaints, because whenever his hands are free he compulsively wants to masturbate all the time. So he's flat on his back with this large protrusion. Now I have to transport my patient thru the halls to be admitted! The halls are aflutter with visitors, children, administration this time of day. So I throw a sheet over him and there's no disguising THE THING.
    THIS IS NO LIE, NO EXXAGERATION-- THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF 15 YRS OF WORKING IN THE ER! I still get razzed about it .
    I have others but these are some of the most memorable of the top of my head.
    ewww! What a shift that was!
  8. by   Spritenurse1210
    Quote from Nurse Vicky in Illinois
    TNTC...Rectally inserted vibrator , unable to retrieve - spent 4 hrs in ER, surgeon finally called in- tried for another 2 hrs. Pt was finally taken to OR to remove under sedation. Spent 5 hrs in pacu--- ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!! He was too tired to go home -- since he'd BEEN UP ALL NIGHT!! I finally sat hi up - tossed him his clothes and told him to SLEEP AT HOME! I missed my family Holiday celebrationfor this yutz. He was too embarrassed to go home - his family was in the waiting room thinking he had some tragic accident--- nobody told them! HIPPA>>gotta luv it!
    Another day- a man with rectal pain-- bic razor in bowel. Looks mighty impressive on xray! He " got a little carried away while masturbating" WITH A RAZOR???
    A pt from the mental health institution was sent for PRIAPISM. It seems his favorite passtime is masturbation. This time the blood clotted and it could not drain-- and became excrutiating! The urologist stuck needles into it all over like a pin cushion! What a sight--( nightmare) then he(urologist) began to stroke up on the shaft of this rather large , swollen , bulging penis to try to push the clots out todrain thru the needles he inserted. I told him that i didn't want to tell him how to do his job but... in my experience, pumping a penis like that is just gonna keep it in the stae it's in! We chuckled,. Finally he decided to remove the needles and wrap with a pressure dressing and coban. All the while the penis is still quite erect and enlarged. Now the patient is in restaints, because whenever his hands are free he compulsively wants to masturbate all the time. So he's flat on his back with this large protrusion. Now I have to transport my patient thru the halls to be admitted! The halls are aflutter with visitors, children, administration this time of day. So I throw a sheet over him and there's no disguising THE THING.
    THIS IS NO LIE, NO EXXAGERATION-- THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF 15 YRS OF WORKING IN THE ER! I still get razzed about it .
    I have others but these are some of the most memorable of the top of my head.
    :lol_hitti :roll

    *tear* whew!!! oh my......my my my.......I'm sure you couldn't help but laugh your a$$ of when you got home!!!
  9. by   azerrn
    The most ridiculous thing a patient ever came into our ER for was an itchy butt at 3AM.
    His wife must have been driven nuts to bring the patient in at that hour for that. Hmm, ever hear of Prep H?
  10. by   love2shopRN
    it was a tuesday afternoon when we got an ems call stating a pt would be coming in with an eye complaint...when she arrived her complaint was she had lost her contact the previous saturday!! when we asked why she didnt drive...at least... she stated: "i lost my contact... i cant drive!!" we quickly gave her discharge instructions to follow up with her opthamalogist...she was so mad....she thought we had extra contacts to give her!! lol
  11. by   kmwb
    :chuckle LMAO this stuff is gold. I have a few questions.
    I am from Australia to clarify before I ask what may be a very stupid question.
    Its indicated that 2-3 hours is a long wait in ER/ED?
    We have enquiries why ped hospital had ED waits of 8 hours +.
    Second question, when someone calls 911 are they not asked what the emergency is? Because I am pretty sure if an emergency operater here heard " i've just stubbed my toe" or " ive broken a nail" or even " I have gum in my hair" an ambulance would not be sent.??? It seems a ridiculous waste of resources.
    It makes me very angy to see some of these stupid ailment being treated, but I do understand why I woke my parents up to come to my house and get me when I suffered anaphylatic shock (perscription med- cephlexin) I got attidude from my nurse (she probably had a bad day if I had to tell someone that gum in their hair was not an emergency...geez) Doctor reassigned her gave me 2 shots of epinepherine. Felt much better, that particular nurse made me feel like I was wasting her time and that small problem of not being able to breathe and full body rashes with nausea didn't need medical attention. ( Really glad the triage nurse was great, I could have still been sitting in the waiting room slightly more blue probably )

    Still want to be an ED nurse, it's the spice of life!!!
  12. by   susi_q
    Last week...call from the ambulance that they were on their way in "non-emergent" ... could hear the paramedic suppressing either a laugh or a moan ... 30 something year old woman ... coming in because she had a bad dream ... she needs a psych eval. No kidding! (Of course, she wanted us to pay for the cab home or call for the ambulance to take her back). Our tax dollars at work!!!
  13. by   andhow5
    Had another good one early Saturday morning...

    An 18-yo came in (accompanied by 2 or 3 of his buddies) for c/o acne. He wanted it cleared up before prom that night.

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