What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 18

and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More

  1. by   RNCENCCRNNREMTP
    Quote from Stitchie
    Yes, but there is a serious condition which causes swelling in young boy's penises that can cause permanent damage...I've treated a case or two in very young infants (<6 months old) and it can be both painful and cause permanant damage. If anyone knows the name of this particular condition and would remind me I'd be grateful. I can say that I've never seen male docs get so worked up about something like a little boy's penis swollen on one end and normal on the 'business end'. Wish they'd get that excited about our women coming in for ovarian cysts and m/c's.
    Probably paraphimosis in an uncircumcised male (redundant, I know). Foreskin gets stuck behind the glans (not glands) of the penis and if not treated can cause gangrene (aiee)
  2. by   RNCENCCRNNREMTP
    [QUOTE=MtnMan]Young man- broken nose- hysterical wife- "I told you that you were going to kill yourself with those Num Chuks" (Had to be air-lifted to nearest trauma unit)
    We first thought the wife was hysterical... she was just laughing so hard she was crying.
    She stopped crying/laughing when the helicopter took off.
    He kept yelling at her: "thnut up, thnitch"
    QUOTE]

    There must be more to his injuries. Please tell me you did not fly him to a trauma center for a broken nose????? And if they are awake and talking why not ground transport. Sounds like (from what we know so far) like a HUGE waste of resources!!!!
  3. by   RNCENCCRNNREMTP
    We have a local "Immediate Care Center" that when it opened had a big gala grand opening and touted that they "could take care of anything except major trauma". Well guess what, we get so many things from them that they cannot do. Some are basic suturing cases.

    To their credit, they do call 911 when a chest pain comes in. But they have problems with basic math. Twice this one "doctor" told the medics "we gave 8 baby aspirin, 325mg". The last time the medic scribbled on a paper "8 x 81 = 648mg" and handed it to the doc. Looked at it and walked away.

    Dummies!!!!!
  4. by   kmrmom42
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    Half the world's population has a below average IQ!
    :chuckle
    And half of the world's doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class!!!
    LOL
  5. by   kmrmom42
    Quote from foofoo
    ok, I'll tell on myself but.... at least I did have the excuse of being extremely young and naive. I had my son very young and was a single mom. When he was about 4 yrs. old (he's 28 now), he came to me saying "mama, somethings wrong with my weewee. It's too big." Well, I look and his poor "weewee" was swollen horribly, it looked like his fist instead of a penis!
    Had a similar experience in my house when one of my boys was 13. He had suffered for a whole day before having the guts to tell me about this...
    he had peed in the woods and apparently had poison ivy on his hands...he is VERY sensitive to poison ivy. His penis looked like one of those plastic toys that slip out of your hand when you try to hold them....do you know what I mean? They have fluid inside and a dimple on each end? Anyway, we went to the ER (weekend of course) for a shot of cortisone. Poor kid, he was so embarrassed to have to show his mother that and I had to struggle not to shriek when I saw it!!
  6. by   RNCENCCRNNREMTP
    Quote from kmrmom42
    Had a similar experience in my house when one of my boys was 13. He had suffered for a whole day before having the guts to tell me about this...
    he had peed in the woods and apparently had poison ivy on his hands...he is VERY sensitive to poison ivy. His penis looked like one of those plastic toys that slip out of your hand when you try to hold them....do you know what I mean? They have fluid inside and a dimple on each end? Anyway, we went to the ER (weekend of course) for a shot of cortisone. Poor kid, he was so embarrassed to have to show his mother that and I had to struggle not to shriek when I saw it!!
    There is also a recognized condition called "Summer Penile Syndrome" which is caused by "chigger" bites to the penis and perineal area and causes sometimes dramatic swelling. Read about it in "Pediatric Emergency Care" a few years back. Treat with antihistamines and steroids.
  7. by   teeituptom
    Quote from jmc
    undefinedundefinedundefined elderly women comes in and has something wrapped in towel and says her son, he was about 36, has cut his penis off and he needed to see doctor when one was available. nice wasn't she?

    i seen several of those over the years, either they had some one do it to them or the do it themselves. even had one guy do it with very neat surgical incisions,cutting away one part the another, first his penis then his scrotum bot separate procedures, he got caught and sent in before he cut his testicles off they were still there and dangling all by themsleves
  8. by   RNin92
    Quote from teeituptom
    I seen several of those over the years, either they had some one do it to them or the do it themselves. Even had one guy do it with very neat surgical incisions,cutting away one part the another, first his penis then his scrotum bot separate procedures, he got caught and sent in before he cut his testicles off they were still there and dangling all by themsleves
    Can I say ouch!
    I'm female and I still want to cross my legs and say ouch!
  9. by   Stitchie
    Quote from RNCENCCRNNREMTP
    Probably paraphimosis in an uncircumcised male (redundant, I know). Foreskin gets stuck behind the glans (not glands) of the penis and if not treated can cause gangrene (aiee)
    Exactly! Thanks!
  10. by   erShocker
    "Do I have to wait here with all these sick people?"

    Nurse: "If your not in pain and you dont have any symptoms, why are you here tonight?"
    Patient:"I havent been seen by a medical professional in a while and I want to be seen tonight."
    Nurse: " Well, I've seen you. You seem fine to me."
    Patient (excited):" So I can go Now?"

    Patient: " I was seen here 6 months ago and given a work note. My boss said he thought I quite and hired some one else. I need a new note."
    Nurse: " How long were you given off?"
    Patient: " Well, the PAPER said 2 days, but I know the doctor (whose name or any physical description eludes the patient) told me not to go back until I felt better. I still dont feel like going back to work, but I need a new note so I dont get fired."
    Needless to say the patient did not get a new note.

    A patient arrives to my triage stations to say that after having a BM he felt something 'still up there'. After digitally checking himself, he had his wife and grown daughter check him, visually and digitally. When these results were negative he stated that he went to his long time neighbor who also checked him in the same way. Negative again he asked his new neighbor who calld the police, who brought him to the ER. (He was seen and was still negative).
  11. by   TinyNurse
    at my first RN job in a small community ER, had a 50something male come in at 3am for hiccups. We used an NG tube to stimulate the vegas nerve.

    few months ago, a 19 yo female ( college student at a big prestigious university) came in because she swallowed a bic pen.......... was walking upstairs with a pen in her mouth, tripped, and swallowed the entire thing. xray showed it was lodged in her stomach, she got scoped, and i don't know what else after that. ( she walked in, in no distress)
  12. by   EMTI19
    Responded to a call for a middle aged male who needs his staples removed. (and he needs an ambulance for this?)

    You always know the best ones are when the dispatcher pages out "call by phone for more information" It is usually something they can't say outloud without laughing.

    True story: Couple of yrs ago a female kept calling 911 for a toothache. We would transport her and never get paid. Medicaid was sending the checks to her and she was going around to nearby towns and cashing them for herself. Finally a bank teller caught on (she must have forgot that she already went to that bank) and called our director. Needless to say, the next Medicaid check came directly to us and the female doesn't call 911 anymore. Talk about abuse!

    Another abuse of the system is when MDs have the nursing home call 911 to have pt seen in ER. When we arrive at the NH, the nurse tells us that the pt needs to go to the ER because the MD wants to see the pt and the MD is at the hopital right now. Is the MDs car broke? :angryfire Now a pt with no income has an ambulance, ER, and physician bill...........

    "I'm not an ambulance driver."
    -Steve Berry
    Check out his books, very funny.
  13. by   TennNurse
    Not only did I have a young lady present to the ER with a pimple on her nasal septum, I later retrieved the chart from the "Orders" rack and had to read it twice to believe this doc actually ordered IV Levaquin. (Since WHEN...?)

    Discharge dx was cellulitis. Now, I did not attend medical school, but I was present for puberty, that sure as he** looked like a plain ol' garden variety pimple on the nose to me.

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