Funniest injury you have ever seen..... - page 7

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in... Read More

  1. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Quote from danu3
    Probably the following answer will help "I am sorry Ms, that is outside the bounds of my professional responsibility. The service you requested was not part of the nursing school's training."

    -Dan
    I like a line Anthony Hopkins' character used in the movie "The Remains of the Day"-

    "I'm sorry, I cannot be of assistance in this matter."

    Then, EXIT!
  2. by   medsurgnurse
    A guy came into urgent care clininc with a stingray injury.
    After he is treated and the pain is controlled, I naturally ask about the circumstances of the injury. He said 'well we caught a stingray, and my girlfirned took a picture of me holding it.' I say 'and did it sting you?' ' nope' he said ' It was after I handed it to my girlfriend so I could take a picture of her holding it, when she handed it back to me for another picture...... that's when it stung me.'
  3. by   bpowers
    why on God's green earth do people put foreign objects up their rectum? What pleasure can they get from this!?



    Quote from LilgirlRN
    Took care of one young woman who was going to have sex, didn't want to get pregnant so used a contraceptive suppository... only she put it in the wrong hole! She inserted it into the urinary meatus. I had to cath her for a urine and there was wax floating on the top of the urine when it cooled! Very painful indeed.

    Had a man come in as a transfer from an outlying hospital to see one of our urologists. His GF caught him messing with another woman, grabbed his penis and almost pulled the thing off. When he got to us he had it wrapped in a two inch ace bandage, looked so funny... dunno if he regained full use of it or not. The GF was arrested for assault. (yes ETOH was involved, both parties)

    I live in Alabama, we have a lot of tornadoes here. Had a really huge one a few years ago, was an F5, did lots of damage and some people were killed. Got a man in with a broom handle through both of his calves. Not a funny injury by any means but unusual. His wife was one of the victims that died.

    I work in triage now and had a man come in , I asked what was wrong and he told me he had the craps, then says, ma'am I lied to you just now. I really don't have the craps, I have something up my butt that shouldn't be there. I asked what it was, he says I'll show ya. Pulls out a little zip up bag and out of it gets an 8 in tall, 6 in around egg shaped paper weight. As I am taking his surgical history he tells me he has a colostomy... I knew why he had to have a colostomy but I just wanted to hear him say it. So I said, did you have colon cancer, he said no, I put too many things up in there and I couldn't make my ******* stay shut no more. EEEEEEEEK!
  4. by   MountainMama
    why on God's green earth do people put foreign objects up their rectum? What pleasure can they get from this!?
    I'll never forget the 60ish year old man with the light bulb stuck up the rectum - intact- got him in the wee hours of the morning, drunk, nasty, embarrassed, of course. Had to wait until morning for OR. I think we just had him lay on his side. I couldn't wait to look up his OR report later-- they had to break it up into pieces, I don't remember the rest.
    I have heard but never witnessed the various stories of stuck vegetables and rectums. *****!
  5. by   CarrieRN2006
    Quote from jay-jay
    this one made the darwin awards. a couple of men were driving in their truck at night on a poorly lit country road, when the lights quit working. it was a blown fuse. one of them got the idea of replacing the fuse with the cartridge from a rifle bullet. the bullet fitted the fuse socket just fine, and they continued their merry way home....

    until the bullet exploded, and hit the driver in the scrotum!

    needless to say, he lost control of the truck, and they wound up in the ditch!

    when the wife of the driver found out about her husband's injury, her first question was: "is the truck all right?"

    don't like to stereotype, but d'ya think this just might have happened in the south, where every red-blooded male drives around with a rifle or shotgun behind the driver's seat in his truck? :d and trucks are just as much of a religion as guns?


    a little note, some of us live in the south and know that this little story has been on many different urban legend shows and proven not only wrong, but very unlikely.:imbar not that it isn't a funny story, but it is just that a story. by the way, are you blonde?
  6. by   shinerchia
    the bullet story was on Myth Busters recently....good try....next
  7. by   HisHands
    Quote from gompers
    stupid, funny injury that happened to me the other day...

    was using one of those hair remover creams on my legs, and decided to do my underarms as well. the bottle said, "do not use on face" but otherwise said it was for the rest of the body. well, i guess my underarms are pretty darn sensitive, because a minute into the treatment they started burning. i got the cream off as quickly as i could, but the damage was done. i chemically burned the top layer of skin off the middle of both pits. let me tell you, a lovely place to have a painful burn it is not! very embarrassing. :imbar

    i highly recommend not using those creams any "other" places.... chemical burns = not crossing your legs for a loooong time. :imbar not pretty.
  8. by   CANRN
    Quote from hishands
    i highly recommend not using those creams any "other" places.... chemical burns = not crossing your legs for a loooong time. :imbar not pretty.
    omg!!!!! that makes my pits hurt just thinking about that!
  9. by   Gompers
    Quote from HisHands
    I highly recommend not using those creams any "other" places.... Chemical burns = not crossing your legs for a LOOOONG time. Not pretty.
    Quote from CANRN
    OMG!!!!! That makes my pits hurt just thinking about that!

    Yes, I've learned my lesson! The product said to avoid the face and genitals, so I figured my pits would be okay. Guess not!
  10. by   critcarenurse16
    Quote from teeituptom
    we had a teenage boy and girl come in by ems for getting their braces stuck together.
    Father of the girl came in before the Doc got them unhooked

    The father wasnt amused as we were
    Good think no one was nauseated
  11. by   andyman1216
    A FEW MONTHS AGO I TRIAGED A GUY WHO'S COMPLAINT WAS, " I GOT MESSED UP AND STUCK A BOTTLE UP MY ***." I WAS VERY PROFFESSIONAL (OF COURSE), UNTIL I TOLD THE MD WHAT THE COMPLAINT WAS. I HAD PLAYED A JOKE ON THE SAME MD A WHILE BACK RE: A PT WITH A COMPLAINT OF A VIBRATOR SHE WAS UNABLE TO REMOVE... STILL TURNED ON. HE WASNT SURE I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.
    SO IN THE STIRRUPS HE WENT- ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES. THE MD ATTEMPTED TO DILATE THE ANUS HIMSELF AS I WATCHED FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM. THERE IT WAS, CLEAR AS DAY, BUT NOT AN INTACT BOTTLE. HE HAD CUT IT IN HALF FIRST... AND USED THE BOTTOM HALF. THE MD CALLED FOR RETRACTORS AND ASKED ME TO ASSIST. SO AS HE PULLED REAL HARD SIDE TO SIDE, I REACHED IN (USING STANDARD PRECAUTIONS) AND FOUND THE CUT EDGE OF THE BOTTLE. IT WAS NOT A CLEAN CUT, BUT VERY JAGGED. THERE WAS A VACUUM FACTOR WE HAD TO OVERCOME, BUT AFTER MUCH EFFORT AND A LOT OF PAIN, WE GOT THE DAMN THING OUT. IT WAS TOUGH BUT SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT.
  12. by   micco
    funny in a dark twisted way. 2 guys and a gal are out joy riding and of course drinking. She leans over to give the driver a special service down there. anyway, he hits a wall at estimated 90 to 100 miles per hour. the driver comes into the ER minus a very important part of his anatomy. the girls has it in her mouth. the other guy is only person to survive.
  13. by   andyman1216
    Icky, And Ouchy...

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