Funniest injury you have ever seen.....

JUSTYSMOM · Jul 21, 2004

Sexual experiences in the ICU.
I had a young lady with a cervical injury who was also hypersexual. Well, she rang her call light when her nurse was busy so I went into her room. I asked her what she needed, to my surprise she replied " I want you to F*$# me". With a straight face I replied, "Thats not appropriate". Being quick witted as she was she replied, "Your right, will you make love to me". I had no reply after that, just a good laugh.
ZAHMAN

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Was she good looking at least?

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2004

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Was she good looking at least?

Who has time as your bolting for the door to get out of that room :rotfl:

laughnsmile · Jul 22, 2004

My patient's roommate in bed #2 was reeeaaaly loud and obnoxious... the type of patient who answers the questions bed #1's doc is asking bed #1 (when was your last BM? Oh he had a BIG one yesterday!!!) Anyways one day I just got the inkling to ask him exactly HOW his HUGE case of cellulitis came to be. (His BLE were red, cracked and oozing). He got very quiet and red and told me that, well, he has a hard time scratching his lower legs since his belly sticks out so far, and sometimes he just has to grab what's close and scratch them. He said one day he was in the bathroom sitting on the pot, and got that itchy feeling again, and you guessed it! First thing he grabbed was the toilet brush. AAahahahahAHAha!!! He must not have seen how hard I was laughing cause he continued to tell me he scratched them till they bled.:rotfl:

Gompers, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2004

Stupid, funny injury that happened to me the other day...

Was using one of those hair remover creams on my legs, and decided to do my underarms as well. The bottle said, "Do not use on face" but otherwise said it was for the rest of the body. Well, I guess my underarms are pretty darn sensitive, because a minute into the treatment they started burning. I got the cream off as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. I chemically burned the top layer of skin off the middle of both pits. Let me tell you, a lovely place to have a painful burn it is not! Very embarrassing. :imbar

herminasgirl · Jul 22, 2004

We had a young man who arrived in the wee hours of the morning with his Senior class ring stuck on his member. Even funnier was the fact that he passed by two larger EDs in his home town to drive thirty miles to our rural one!

Another one I remember well was a gentleman who inserted a wire coathanger in himself through his rectum. Once inside it had more room to open up and less to come out. When I went into his room he told me he knew he would need surgery because he had done this before! The xray was amazing!:rotfl:

Mary Austin · Jul 22, 2004

Ah yes, the joys of nursing....this may be more sad than funny. Admitted a guy who ran out of veins for heroin so he injected into the scrotum. His scrotum was the size of a football and rather painful. The surgeon doing the I & D was just beside himself knowing he had to do surgery on this. It takes all kinds to make the world spin!

shinerchia · Jul 23, 2004

Sharpee pen cap in a pt's bladder. We called UA/CS results to follow a pt and she stated she knew that she had a foreign object in her bladder and that might account for the MRSA in her urine. She shoved large objects in her urethra it seems.

And here i've been using it for elimination all of these years!

ameriarmybrattLPN · Jul 24, 2004

Sharpee pen cap in a pt's bladder. We called UA/CS results to follow a pt and she stated she knew that she had a foreign object in her bladder and that might account for the MRSA in her urine. She shoved large objects in her urethra it seems.
And here i've been using it for elimination all of these years!

:uhoh21: This one doesn't make me laugh it makes me HURT. Yee-ouch! :bluecry1:

hipab4hands · Jul 24, 2004

Once again, stupidity/ETOH = job security!

How about our frequent flier-a known alcoholic--ran out of beer. He and a friend decide to find a free source of alcohol. Light bulb goes on in our frequent fliers head, who decides to make a run to the local morturary, because they know they have alcohol there in the form of embalming fluid.

Frequent Flier and friend break into the morturary, steal embalming fluid, and have themselves a drinking party.

Frequent Flier ends up in the ER. with poisoning and makes a complete recovery.

(Although I always wanted to know what kind of shape his liver was in.)

sandypinktruck · Jul 24, 2004

We had a young man who arrived in the wee hours of the morning with his Senior class ring stuck on his member. Even funnier was the fact that he passed by two larger EDs in his home town to drive thirty miles to our rural one!
Another one I remember well was a gentleman who inserted a wire coathanger in himself through his rectum. Once inside it had more room to open up and less to come out. When I went into his room he told me he knew he would need surgery because he had done this before! The xray was amazing

Gee, and i thought coat hangers were for opening car doors!!

KIMRNNYC · Jul 24, 2004

about 10 years ago my wife and i were getting a bit frisky in the kitchen and we were both naked. she grabbed for my special purpose and by pure reflexes i jumped away and caught my scrotum - that's right - scrotum, on a kitchen cabinet and tore a small hole in it. well, thinking i would never have any more children, i called the er and told the nurse what had happened. i could tell she was trying no to laugh and told me there was nothing she could do unless i came in. so i did. after a few pokes and prods i was sent home with nothing more than a bandage. a small bandage at that. needless to say once my wife reported my er trip to the relatives i got all kinds of testicular jokes! but, everything's fine now. the boys healed well.

i was working as a unit secretary in a hospital while in nursing school. i received a call from the ed saying they had an admit for our floor and they would be faxing up the admission report.

dx: penile trauma.

after arriving to the floor, we received the details. he became a bit frisky in the kitchen as well. w/o going into great detail, he was facing the kitchen cabinets when his penile piercing caught on the cabinet knob, turned around and yepper, you guessed it, ripped the piercing right out. after surgery to repair the damage, he came to our floor. he and his partner were very funny about it and he was a great patient.

p.s. hiv +, hopefully had teaching before discharge about the dangers of piercings and transmission possibilities associated with them.

bpowers · Jul 24, 2004

Nomination for the funniest story. LOL :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

A friend of mine was doing his first night of internship on an ER rotation in Kansas. There was a thunderstorm that night -- thunder and lightning lighting up the sky! He was at the reception desk of the ER, staring at the rain through the sliding glass doors. A lightning bolt lit up the parking lot, and he saw an incredibly macbre sight! A man came walking through the rain, carrying a limp, unconscious woman. But the truly bizarre thing was he appeared to have a hatchet protruding from his skull.
Yup! The guy got all likkered up and decided to try his hatchet-throwing skills by throwing at a target affixed to a cement wall in his basement. The hatchet hit the wall, bounced back, and embedded the sharp edge in the guy's skull. Frightened, he went upstairs to get his wife to drive him to the ER. She took one look at him and passed out. So he picked her up and put her in his pick-up truck to drive her to the ER.
Seems that the hatchet went right between the two lobes. It was successful removed and the guy was discharged without any discernable brain damage. (And ADDITIONAL brain damage!)