Funniest injury you have ever seen.....

Specialties Emergency

Published

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in my yard." :chuckle

All I kept thinking was "you might be a redneck if........." :rotfl:

I told him that I hoped his family was going to get plenty of miles out of his injury and his son said "oh yeah. The last thing I told him was not to shoot his foot with the gun." The guy had been balancing the barrel of the gun on his shoe while he waited for signs of the moles moving underground.

Pam

Specializes in Rehab.
stupid, funny injury that happened to me the other day...

was using one of those hair remover creams on my legs, and decided to do my underarms as well. the bottle said, "do not use on face" but otherwise said it was for the rest of the body. well, i guess my underarms are pretty darn sensitive, because a minute into the treatment they started burning. i got the cream off as quickly as i could, but the damage was done. i chemically burned the top layer of skin off the middle of both pits. let me tell you, a lovely place to have a painful burn it is not! very embarrassing. :imbar

i highly recommend not using those creams any "other" places.... chemical burns = not crossing your legs for a loooong time. :imbar not pretty.

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Specializes in Hospice and Palliative Care, Family NP.
i highly recommend not using those creams any "other" places.... chemical burns = not crossing your legs for a loooong time. :imbar not pretty.

:rotfl: omg!!!!! that makes my pits hurt just thinking about that! :rotfl:

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Specializes in NICU.
I highly recommend not using those creams any "other" places.... Chemical burns = not crossing your legs for a LOOOONG time. Not pretty.

:rotfl: OMG!!!!! That makes my pits hurt just thinking about that! :rotfl:

Yes, I've learned my lesson! The product said to avoid the face and genitals, so I figured my pits would be okay. Guess not!

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we had a teenage boy and girl come in by ems for getting their braces stuck together.

Father of the girl came in before the Doc got them unhooked

The father wasnt amused as we were

Good think no one was nauseated:eek:

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A FEW MONTHS AGO I TRIAGED A GUY WHO'S COMPLAINT WAS, " I GOT MESSED UP AND STUCK A BOTTLE UP MY ***." I WAS VERY PROFFESSIONAL (OF COURSE), UNTIL I TOLD THE MD WHAT THE COMPLAINT WAS. I HAD PLAYED A JOKE ON THE SAME MD A WHILE BACK RE: A PT WITH A COMPLAINT OF A VIBRATOR SHE WAS UNABLE TO REMOVE... STILL TURNED ON. HE WASNT SURE I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

SO IN THE STIRRUPS HE WENT- ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES. THE MD ATTEMPTED TO DILATE THE orifice HIMSELF AS I WATCHED FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM. THERE IT WAS, CLEAR AS DAY, BUT NOT AN INTACT BOTTLE. HE HAD CUT IT IN HALF FIRST... AND USED THE BOTTOM HALF. THE MD CALLED FOR RETRACTORS AND ASKED ME TO ASSIST. SO AS HE PULLED REAL HARD SIDE TO SIDE, I REACHED IN (USING STANDARD PRECAUTIONS) AND FOUND THE CUT EDGE OF THE BOTTLE. IT WAS NOT A CLEAN CUT, BUT VERY JAGGED. THERE WAS A VACUUM FACTOR WE HAD TO OVERCOME, BUT AFTER MUCH EFFORT AND A LOT OF PAIN, WE GOT THE DAMN THING OUT. IT WAS TOUGH BUT SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT.

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Specializes in OR.

funny in a dark twisted way. 2 guys and a gal are out joy riding and of course drinking. She leans over to give the driver a special service down there. anyway, he hits a wall at estimated 90 to 100 miles per hour. the driver comes into the ER minus a very important part of his anatomy. the girls has it in her mouth. the other guy is only person to survive.

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Icky, And Ouchy...

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Specializes in OB, Post Partum, Home Health.

Pregnant patient & husband having "vigorous" sex, somehow got a spontaneous labial laceration, it bled so bad she called 911, didn't tell us about the sex incident (in fact denied it for a long time) so we slammed an IV in her, stat ultrasound, prepared the OR for stat c-section expecting abruption or previa or something. Couldn't find anything on ultrasound, it was only when she went in to use the bathroom before being discharged and started screaming at the top of her lungs because the urine caused so much stinging! So we looked and found a big 'ole laceration!

Poor girl and guy they were humiliated!

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Doc Didnt Do A Pelvic First Off? Isnt That A Nice Way To See If Its Uterine Bleeding Or Trauma?

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Specializes in OB, Post Partum, Home Health.
Doc Didnt Do A Pelvic First Off? Isnt That A Nice Way To See If Its Uterine Bleeding Or Trauma?

Pelvic/lady partsl exams are contraindicated in heaving bleeding of unknown origin in pregnancy unless totally necessary (ie pt feels urge to push) in this case, pt denied pain of any kind so we suspected previa, vag exam is totally contraindicated in placenta previa, better to do an ultrasound to verify placement of placenta. Also, pt was not actively bleeding on admission and fhts were reactive and reassuring on admit.

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I work in triage now and had a man come in , I asked what was wrong and he told me he had the craps, then says, ma'am I lied to you just now. I really don't have the craps, I have something up my butt that shouldn't be there. I asked what it was, he says I'll show ya. Pulls out a little zip up bag and out of it gets an 8 in tall, 6 in around egg shaped paper weight. As I am taking his surgical history he tells me he has a colostomy... I knew why he had to have a colostomy but I just wanted to hear him say it. So I said, did you have colon cancer, he said no, I put too many things up in there and I couldn't make my asshole stay shut no more. EEEEEEEEK!

LMAO!!!!!!!!! :rotfl: :roll Didn't he know how to use a suitcase?

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Specializes in ER.

Many years ago a nurse told me a story that I will never forget!

While working ER one night a man was wheeled in by a friend to the desk. The man was wearing a long trench coat. When the nurse asked him what he needed he said, "Can you take this off?" He opened the trench coat to reveal a duck in his lap. Seems he found this duck attractive and was being intimate with it. :chuckle They wheeled him to surgery with the duck quacking all the way. Unfortunatly the duck did not survive.:crying2:

So just remember it's never a good idea to **** a duck!

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