What you'd REALLY like to say....

Nursing Students CNA/MA

Published

Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!

Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....

To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire

DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!

Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.

When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!

To those wonderful family members we all love so much:

Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK! :banghead:

You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you. :uhoh3:

...

Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!

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92 years old, dies in her sleep. Family member: "What HAPPENED?"

Uhm, she wore out.

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Get this all the time "Do you work here?"

Answer: "no I'm trying out my halloween costume early. What do you think of the scrubs and nametag? Nice huh you idiot!"

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I'll do you one better. 92 year-old dies in her sleep. Family member: You killed my Grandmother, I'm going to own this place!!!

92 years old, dies in her sleep. Family member: "What HAPPENED?"

Uhm, she wore out.

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I'll do you one better. 92 year-old dies in her sleep. Family member: You killed my Grandmother, I'm going to own this place!!!

You just reminded me of another one..

Son of above mentioned obnoxious pt, as he's leaving stops me to say:

"There is something really foul smelling back there"

Gee... ya think? You are in a nursing home and you did just breeze down the corridor after lunch and after we changed about 24 residents. There could possibly be some odor associated with that. :smokin:

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Get this all the time "Do you work here?"

Answer: "no I'm trying out my halloween costume early. What do you think of the scrubs and nametag? Nice huh you idiot!"

When that "special" family member stops me and asks "are you the nurse?", I sooooo wanna say "Nope and THANK GOD!" :bowingpur LOL

(Even tho in 14 months I will be the nurse!) :w00t:

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Along those lines of being asked if you're the nurse. Coherent resident insists on calling for me " nurse nurse" I so want to respond "FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME I AM NOT THE ****** NURSE!"

Coherent resident and non stop call lighter always says "I'm sorry I'm such a burden." What I want to say "No you're not because if you were, YOU WOULD STOP HTTING THE CALL BUTTON BECAUSE YOUR SHEET MOVED, BECAUSE THE SUN IS UP, BECAUSE THERE IS NOISE IN THE HALL! YOUR NOT SORRY SO STOP SAYING THAT TO GET THE SYMPATHY I LONG AGO LOST FOR YOU!!!"

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coherent resident requests barrier cream on bottom...as i am putting the barrier cream she says: "make sure you get into the crack."

what i really want to say: "what the eff do you think this is?? you want me to rub your nasty, smelly, raw crack??? not to mention you dig all up in your booty...how about i hand you the cream and you can caress and massage your nasty, smelly behind!!!!!"

fellow aide or nurse: do you have so and so?? (i answer yes) well, she/he is wet and needs to be changed.

what i really want to say: so effing change them!!! last time i checked it is in your job description to do so!!! argh!!!!

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Specializes in LTC.

To certain family members: Get the F out! When we say we are going to toilet your wife, that is not your cue to start anxiously fussing and fiddling with every little thing for the next 10 minutes while we stand there and wait for you to finish and leave. Just get out!

To the same family, at dinner time: Get the F out! When you're not here, your wife/mother eats 75% of her meal and drinks everything. As soon as your overbearing a$$ walks in here and you start pooh-poohing, she stops eating. You people are so dramatic- just get out!

To the daughter of another resident (I posted about this in the general nursing discussion forum already, but this was the gist): Go home! I know your mom wants to go to bed but I'm dealing with a man who transferred himself to the toilet and set off his alarm and I cannot leave him alone, so STOP FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE HALL, bugging me about your mother! When I do take care of your mother do not stand there and watch me like a hawk as I wash her crotch. Do you think she WANTS an audience? Plus, every time I turn around you are standing in front of something I need. Go away.

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Specializes in LTC.

To one of the residents: I am so sorry you have to share a bathroom with those two!

To several other residents: Stop picking your nose. Stop picking your legs till they bleed. Stop picking your butt. Just stop picking!

To a lot of residents: The world is not going to end if you don't poop for the 3rd time today. Really. Having a medium-sized BM rather than a large BM is not going to kill you. Calm down.

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To one of the residents: I am so sorry you have to share a bathroom with those two!

To several other residents: Stop picking your nose. Stop picking your legs till they bleed. Stop picking your butt. Just stop picking!

To a lot of residents: The world is not going to end if you don't poop for the 3rd time today. Really. Having a medium-sized BM rather than a large BM is not going to kill you. Calm down.

LOL so true!

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Sign I'd like to hang outside of ltc

"Family visiting hours as follows: Those who are deaf and mute, welcome 24 hours. All others see cnas for applications and interview. Annoying, overbearing and those who wish to play pretend supervisor to the cna need not apply. Kind and respectful welcome to seek appt. "

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