What you'd REALLY like to say....

Nursing Students CNA/MA

Published

Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!

Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....

To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire

DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!

Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.

When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!

To those wonderful family members we all love so much:

Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK! :banghead:

You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you. :uhoh3:

...

Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!

coherent resident requests barrier cream on bottom...as i am putting the barrier cream she says: "make sure you get into the crack."

what i really want to say: "what the eff do you think this is?? you want me to rub your nasty, smelly, raw crack??? not to mention you dig all up in your booty...how about i hand you the cream and you can caress and massage your nasty, smelly behind!!!!!"

fellow aide or nurse: do you have so and so?? (i answer yes) well, she/he is wet and needs to be changed.

what i really want to say: so effing change them!!! last time i checked it is in your job description to do so!!! argh!!!!

:yeahthat:

in my first few days as a new cna, one of my residents said "now make sure you rub the cream on my scrotum" :confused:

i wanted to say - uh, i am pretty sure if you can ask me to put cream on your scrotum, you are good to do it yourself buddy!

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To the lady who insists that her mom who is perfectly able to walk on her own be a 1:1 transfer for everything..why don't you spend a shift here. Try walking with her for 4.5 hours and therefore basically being down an aide all night. If you want 1:1 care..hire a private nurse, it'll probably be cheaper anyways.

To the people who insist on 'fixing' problems with their families health..they're old, they probably don't need all these procedures done, and they're miserable after they get them done. Let them be!

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Instead of "Hi, I'm your cna on this hall for this shift" I'd like to say "one slave reporting for duty"

Instead of "its no problem" I'd like to say "Its what they pay me so little for"

Instead of "You're no bother at all" I'd like to say "please god do not hit that call button one more time. Please i beg you go an hour without it"

Instead of "its not that big a mess" I'd like to say "what did you eat an elephant? thats huge its disgusting where is my gas mask?"

To the family members who insist on asking "do you like working here?" I'd like to say "No but until I finish my freaking degree I'm stuck wiping you're relatives rear end"

To any cna student in any cna class who asks "whats it like working as a cna in ltc" I'd like to say "Its a freaking nightmare. Its smelly, its gross, you will get hurt, scratched punched assaulted. If you like hand to hand combat where you're not allowed to defend yourself, sign on"

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to the pt who takes one look at me and says "Oh God, how old are you, oh no no no they are not sending a little girl to take care of me! Nurse!" : Um I've been whipping my daughters a** for 3 years and my own for pretty long time so I am sure I am old enough to whip yours!

to the pt who says: "Don't touch me, you look like a wh*re" : If I was one at least I would be getting paid better

to the family members who says when she sees me walking down the hall: "Do you know where the girls are who work here, my "so and so" needs some ice cream" : I don't know who works here, I'm a crazed chick who gose from nursing home to nursing home walking in and out peoples rooms wareing scrums! :lol2:

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to the pt who takes one look at me and says "Oh God, how old are you, oh no no no they are not sending a little girl to take care of me! Nurse!" : Um I've been whipping my daughters a** for 3 years and my own for pretty long time so I am sure I am old enough to whip yours!

to the pt who says: "Don't touch me, you look like a wh*re" : If I was one at least I would be getting paid better

to the family members who says when she sees me walking down the hall: "Do you know where the girls are who work here, my "so and so" needs some ice cream" : I don't know who works here, I'm a crazed chick who gose from nursing home to nursing home walking in and out peoples rooms wareing scrums! :lol2:

Love the one about wh*re, thats true. I'll take that one to work tonight and share it with my coworkers :)

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these are funny, thanks for shating.

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sharing' sorry

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To my coworkers who ask me to hold the elevator open for them so they can go clock out to go on break:

No!!!!!!! :angryfire

No I will not hold the elevator for you so that you can have every last second of your precious break to yourself! (gawd forbid you spend 1 whole minute of your break waiting on the elevator!!!!)

No I will especially not hold the elevator for you to take your damned break because I NEVER EVER GET A BREAK! Yes, I am due a break, but out of the love/obligation/frustration for my job - I don't take a break because I know if I do I will never get everything done in the time that I need it done! :uhoh3:

I think you are selfish for always taking a break when half your coworkers don't get one.

I think you are selfish for leaving the floor with call lights buzzing, and forcing your coworkers who already aren't getting a break to pick up your slack!!!!

:angryfire

Hold the EFFIN elevator yourself!!!!!! I've got WORK TO DO!

Wow that felt good! :lol2:

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To the daughter of another resident (I posted about this in the general nursing discussion forum already, but this was the gist): Go home! I know your mom wants to go to bed but I'm dealing with a man who transferred himself to the toilet and set off his alarm and I cannot leave him alone, so STOP FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE HALL, bugging me about your mother! When I do take care of your mother do not stand there and watch me like a hawk as I wash her crotch. Do you think she WANTS an audience? Plus, every time I turn around you are standing in front of something I need. Go away.

YES. I have had several family members like this and it never gets any easier to resist telling them to GTFO.

To the very large, very demanding woman who regularly demands we scratch her crotch after cleaning her when she can easily enough reach down there to hold it open while demanding - just, NO.

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Specializes in Alzheimers and geriatric patients.

what about the one's who threaten to throw themselves in the floor if you don't do what they want? i just want to scream- do it. you are hurting yourself not me!!!!

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to my teamwork challenged co-workers----just how hard is it to help out with a 2-person transfer? i'm tired of going without lunch because i took that much time trying to get you to help!! and you still didn't help.

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to my teamwork challenged co-workers----just how hard is it to help out with a 2-person transfer? i'm tired of going without lunch because i took that much time trying to get you to help!! and you still didn't help.

yes. many of my coworkers, when asked to help with a 2 person transfer will say "just do it by yourself, i do all the time". yeah, it's really safe to lift a 200 pound man by yourself.

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