Just a 'butt-wiper'

Nursing Students CNA/MA

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Anyway, I have this 37 year old friend who, along w/ her 10 year old daughter, always refer to me working as a 'butt-wiper'. They both get HUGE kicks out of it. "Do you have to go to work and wipe butts tonight?", or "You don't mind wiping people's butt's all night?", sometimes the mom will say to the daughter "Stop it, she went to school to learn to wipe people's butts" etc. There are many, many more degrading ways they phrase their questions. I can't really tell them off 'cause the 10 year old is best friends w/ my daughter, and I don't want that friendship to end. I've mentioned my job involves other things too, like vital signs, washing, dressing, I even had to do the Heimlich Maneuver the other night. Any ideas on some tactful ways I can say 'knock it off'. Any links I can post on my facebook page about how valuable CNA's are, the mom will see it and maybe get the hint.

Thanks in advance,

Specializes in Psych, LTC/SNF, Rehab, Corrections.
Man!! I'd have a hard time with that one. How does your daughter feel about her 'best friend' saying nasty things to your face? What an obnoxious mother she has.

I suppose if it were were me I'd give that 'mother' a quick lecture starting with: "For your information, CNA's are professionals!! Hospitals and long-term care facilities simply couldn't operate without us, nor could nurses do their jobs if it weren't for CNA's!! We're on the front lines of healthcare and we're proud of what we do!!! So stuff it!!!" I'd really go into a tirade and have a hard time keeping my cool if that were me.

You guys have me in here tearing up at 3:16 am over a poem!

*laugh*

...but that's how it is.

Two days ago, one of my residents asked me to wheel him to the front nurse's station.

At first his speech was garbled but, then we understood.

"Tell her I'm sorry..."

I said, "A---?" (the nurse).

The nurse said, "Tell who you're sorry? Me? Why are you apologizing to me - you didn't do anything..."

He says, "Barbara... Te..ll Bar...bra...I'm sorry..."

'Barbara' is his daughter. Long story made short, he was asking the nurse to call his daughter to apologize for 'whatever he mighta done' that made her 'leave' him 'in this place'.

I don't judge but when it dawned on all of us exactly what he was saying - you could just read the expressions and see eyes that wanted to 'mist' up. He was just so pitiful and he kept on apologizing.

Poor baby.

I hate when my residents get like that, what with the crying spells and such...SMH

Finally, the nurse says, "Mr. D--, Barbara's coming. You didn't do anything wrong. She didn't leave you here. She put you here to help you get better...ok?"

Anyway, I agree with INTERCEPTINGLIGHT.

There's honor in my work. I contribute to society in a useful way.

I'm sore when I go home...true. My fingers...from all the lifting and hoisting. My feet, butt and legs...for the 7 hours on my feet.

Some of my coworkers get on my freakin' nerves but my residents make it worthwhile. I get something out it.

So...'a buttwiper'?

No.

Don't worry. When/if her daughter throws her in a nursing home (just playing the odds), she'll be knocked off her high-horse in record time -- and thanking God that someone gave even half of a d*mn to WANT to care for her. Wash her hair, talk to her, smile at her, dress her, brush her teeth, scratch and rub her back and legs, etc...

Lift and position her...because she lacks the strength to move her own body.

Feed her...because she can't feed herself.

Bathe her...because she lacks the strength to wash her body and wipe her own butt.

...and we do it ALL....for what shouldn't even be considered a 'living wage'.

Uh, but, I digress...

*laugh*

The 10 year old? I can understand. She's a child and can't help the way that she's (apparently) being raised.

But, the mother is a different story. She's 37...and old enough for some 'choice words'.

If you can dish it? You can take it....

I understand the OP's position - but, I don't have children to consider.

Still, y'know...if the child says these things to you (an ADULT)...how does she speak to kids her own age?

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Anyway, I have this 37 year old friend who, along w/ her 10 year old daughter, always refer to me working as a 'butt-wiper'. They both get HUGE kicks out of it. "Do you have to go to work and wipe butts tonight?", or "You don't mind wiping people's butt's all night?", sometimes the mom will say to the daughter "Stop it, she went to school to learn to wipe people's butts" etc. There are many, many more degrading ways they phrase their questions. I can't really tell them off 'cause the 10 year old is best friends w/ my daughter, and I don't want that friendship to end. I've mentioned my job involves other things too, like vital signs, washing, dressing, I even had to do the Heimlich Maneuver the other night. Any ideas on some tactful ways I can say 'knock it off'. Any links I can post on my facebook page about how valuable CNA's are, the mom will see it and maybe get the hint.

Thanks in advance,

Wow she sounds like a total B and teaching her daughter to do it too thats disgusting.

She will soon find out how important cnas are just wait.....her parents will grow old one day and she wont know what to do I bet then she'd be thankful for us " butt wipers" to come help them.

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You know, the more I think about it, the less the "butt-wiping" is the point here. Even if we did nothing but stand and have butts line up to systematically walk by and be wiped, it STILL would not give this person the right to disrespect you. (LOL at the mental image, though...)

Please tell this person off, this really irks me.

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She is allowing her daughter to be disrespectful. Her karma will be the day that her daughter tells her to go pluck her feathers. :smokin:

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Good poem!! Post that for sure!

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I just had to go through and kudos all the post concerning the mother's encouraging hateful and rude behavior in a child.

How unfair for a mother to set her child up to fail like that.

Perhaps this child and her Girl Scout troop can pop in for a nursing home visit and see that it's no joke.

Note: If that girl could, indeed, even be a part of something so decent as the Girl Scouts!

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Specializes in LTC.

I'd rather be wiping butt than kissing butt!:D

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Frankly I think this 37 year old (who is acting about 8 years old) would be someone I would be slowly working out of my circle of friends. I have known people who were absolutely dumped in LTCs and really love and appreciate their CNAs and anyone else who will help them. Some people in LTCs have no family or friends (or none who will visit them). I hope this Mom doesn't end up like that! She will thank God for the "butt-wiping CNAs."

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You might enjoy some new friends.:redbeathe

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The mother is obviously not setting a good example for her daughter. I understand it is a delicate situation what with the two girls being best friends. But when your daughter grows up, she will understand that her mother was being made fun of by a very obtuse person.

Keep doing what you do. It is a very noble job.

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Specializes in geriatrics, dementia, ortho.

Try saying something so awkward/disturbing that they're afraid to bring up your work around you. "I don't just wipe butts, I brush the teeth of corpses as well. Do you want to hear about that? Well, let's not talk about my work then." or "Did you know that people can get sores so deep you can see their spines? Let me tell you about the colors and smells when that happens! Oh, what, you don't want to hear about it? Huh."

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Very nice poem! I start my first CNA position this coming week and this is making me even more inspired. Beautiful.

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