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Discussion

Just a 'butt-wiper'

Anyway, I have this 37 year old friend who, along w/ her 10 year old daughter, always refer to me working as a 'butt-wiper'. They both get HUGE kicks out of it. "Do you have to go to work and wipe butts tonight?", or "You don't mind wiping people's butt's all night?", sometimes the mom will say to the daughter "Stop it, she went to school to learn to wipe people's butts" etc. There are many, many more degrading ways they phrase their questions. I can't really tell them off 'cause the 10 year old is best friends w/ my daughter, and I don't want that friendship to end. I've mentioned my job involves other things too, like vital signs, washing, dressing, I even had to do the Heimlich Maneuver the other night. Any ideas on some tactful ways I can say 'knock it off'. Any links I can post on my facebook page about how valuable CNA's are, the mom will see it and maybe get the hint.

Thanks in advance,

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I would just let them have their small-minded laughs. Maybe they will grow tired of it once they learn you won't respond. Or, you might give them a serious-faced retort, such as "I don't make degrading remarks about what you do, why do you feel the need to degrade me?"

I say be honest with them. Don't be all angry and vindictive, just tell them to please stop teasing you because it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe they don't know how their teasing affects you, maybe they think you're in on the joke with them?

by allowing the mother and in turn the daughter to poke fun at you, you are showing the child that it is OK to make fun of others. I would say something to the mother without the child present. I know she is your daughters friend, but do you really want her hanging out with a future bully?

Why would you call this person a friend? She sounds like a jealous drama-queen bully to me, and a crappy mother to let her child disrespect an adult like that.

Wow. I can see how a 10-year-old might think that wiping butts is fascinating in a funny way, but it sounds like the comments have crossed the line from playful to straight-up mean, and the mother should know better than to engage in that kind of behavior, never mind encourage it.

I would politely and directly point out how mean and hurtful their comments are, to both of them. I really don't think there's any other tactful way to handle it- Facebook links won't do anything. I'd also be pretty tempted to make fun of whatever this woman does for a living but I don't think I need to say that you shouldn't actually do that, lol. Has this little girl forgotten that her own mother used to wipe HER butt when she was a baby? Let's hope she doesn't follow her mother's example and start treating YOUR kid like a piece of dirt.

I've had people tell me that a lot before they found out what I really do. Once I showed them all the bruises and scratches and I told them what other things I have to deal with at my work, they stopped. When they are 80 years old and incontinent, they will beg for a good soul to change their diaper and "wipe their butts." Don't let this person get to you because this is a very hard job and you should be proud of yourself for doing something that most people would not be able to handle. It is part of being a CNA and as CNA's we are very tough group of people.

PS- It is very disturbing that a mother would basically teach her child things like this. Society today is going downhill.

I would tell them that you feel disrespected, and that you do many other tasks to help people. They may be in the same position one day and need someone like yourselfs help. Do CNA or na's belong to an organization? I am certified as a medical assistant and know they are part of the AAMA. They might have links for you to post.

Man!! I'd have a hard time with that one. How does your daughter feel about her 'best friend' saying nasty things to your face? What an obnoxious mother she has.

I suppose if it were were me I'd give that 'mother' a quick lecture starting with: "For your information, CNA's are professionals!! Hospitals and long-term care facilities simply couldn't operate without us, nor could nurses do their jobs if it weren't for CNA's!! We're on the front lines of healthcare and we're proud of what we do!!! So stuff it!!!" I'd really go into a tirade and have a hard time keeping my cool if that were me.

I just came across a cool site for CNA training called AVANZA EDUCATION. There is a poem on their home page that's simply wonderful, but I don't know how to post a clickable link. Try pasting this to your address bar, I hope it comes up. It's entitled 'Only A Nurse Aide?' It will bring tears to your eyes :

http://www.avanzaedu.org/only_a_nurse_aide

Let me know if you can access this, otherwise I'll post the entire poem in a reply.

Chin up!!

Actually, you can just click on that link. OK cool. Post that to your Facebook page!!! :D

I started my career as a nurses aid before you had to be certified. I have now been a nurse for 38 years and I teach CNA classes. And I take great offense to this woman and what she is letting her 10 year old daughter say! I would NOT want to work anywhere, especially long term care, without some great CNA's! Remember, you are the nurses eyes! You see them far more often than the nurses do and you know your patients/residents far better than we do. So you are not "butt wipers". You are just about everything to these people and should be respected for what you do!

I agree with some of the posters above - this is plain old fashioned bullying and I would have a private, civil talk with mommy. She's teaching her 10 year old some bad habits. And YOU deserve better!

And that web site with the beautiful poem is wonderful - I will save that and give it to all of my future students! Thank you!

Frankly, I'd just refuse to call such a condescending and disrespectful person a "friend", and that would be that. Life's too short to surround yourself with people who treat you like crap.

Man!! I'd have a hard time with that one. How does your daughter feel about her 'best friend' saying nasty things to your face? What an obnoxious mother she has.

I suppose if it were were me I'd give that 'mother' a quick lecture starting with: "For your information, CNA's are professionals!! Hospitals and long-term care facilities simply couldn't operate without us, nor could nurses do their jobs if it weren't for CNA's!! We're on the front lines of healthcare and we're proud of what we do!!! So stuff it!!!" I'd really go into a tirade and have a hard time keeping my cool if that were me.

You guys have me in here tearing up at 3:16 am over a poem!

*laugh*

...but that's how it is.

Two days ago, one of my residents asked me to wheel him to the front nurse's station.

At first his speech was garbled but, then we understood.

"Tell her I'm sorry..."

I said, "A---?" (the nurse).

The nurse said, "Tell who you're sorry? Me? Why are you apologizing to me - you didn't do anything..."

He says, "Barbara... Te..ll Bar...bra...I'm sorry..."

'Barbara' is his daughter. Long story made short, he was asking the nurse to call his daughter to apologize for 'whatever he mighta done' that made her 'leave' him 'in this place'.

I don't judge but when it dawned on all of us exactly what he was saying - you could just read the expressions and see eyes that wanted to 'mist' up. He was just so pitiful and he kept on apologizing.

Poor baby.

I hate when my residents get like that, what with the crying spells and such...SMH

Finally, the nurse says, "Mr. D--, Barbara's coming. You didn't do anything wrong. She didn't leave you here. She put you here to help you get better...ok?"

Anyway, I agree with INTERCEPTINGLIGHT.

There's honor in my work. I contribute to society in a useful way.

I'm sore when I go home...true. My fingers...from all the lifting and hoisting. My feet, butt and legs...for the 7 hours on my feet.

Some of my coworkers get on my freakin' nerves but my residents make it worthwhile. I get something out it.

So...'a buttwiper'?

No.

Don't worry. When/if her daughter throws her in a nursing home (just playing the odds), she'll be knocked off her high-horse in record time -- and thanking God that someone gave even half of a d*mn to WANT to care for her. Wash her hair, talk to her, smile at her, dress her, brush her teeth, scratch and rub her back and legs, etc...

Lift and position her...because she lacks the strength to move her own body.

Feed her...because she can't feed herself.

Bathe her...because she lacks the strength to wash her body and wipe her own butt.

...and we do it ALL....for what shouldn't even be considered a 'living wage'.

Uh, but, I digress...

*laugh*

The 10 year old? I can understand. She's a child and can't help the way that she's (apparently) being raised.

But, the mother is a different story. She's 37...and old enough for some 'choice words'.

If you can dish it? You can take it....

I understand the OP's position - but, I don't have children to consider.

Still, y'know...if the child says these things to you (an ADULT)...how does she speak to kids her own age?

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