Single SRNAs.. - page 4

Got your attention with that one.....I really don't want to turn this into a match.com type of thing, but how many of you out there are going through the whole deal single, away from hometown... Read More

  1. by   Pete495
    I found this thread somewhat useful as well. As someone already said, it is all relative. My dilemma is a little bit different. I've been with the same person for a little over a year now. I've been making arrangements for school, and this will require a move 2-2.5 hours away. she kinda wants to come with me, but we're both not sure it is a good idea as I will have to move back here to my current inhabitance to fulfill a contract that is paying for my education (unless i pay off the contract and bolt).

    My dilemma is that I realize how difficult school will be, and even though she is a nurse too, I don't think she realizes the time I am going to have to put into this. I'm not the kind of person things come easy for, so I do not think I will be home a lot. But I also realize there are others out there as well who will have to study as much as I. we couldn't have gotten where we are now through easy channels. In any case, she doesn't want to move without some sort of commitment. Even if I could afford a ring right now, which i can't, it wouldn't happen for at least 3 years. I'm not anticipating a ceremony is feasible during school, with money and time being an issue. Her parents are devout catholic, and would disapprove of us moving together, which makes it twice as hard, and she is an only child, so is quite close with her parents, actually more so the other way around, but it's still difficult.

    all that being said, we have some hard decisions to make before it all goes down. I've been looking for a place to live, one that is big enough for two people, but I guess we will have to wait and see. I think it comes down to what we both want to do.

    On another front, I'm looking at buying a house now instead of renting. I am hoping for more responses in the other thread about buying a house.

    By the way, this board is a valuable asset for school. Keep coming back!
  2. by   jewelcutt
    Pete, it's as simple as this:
    If your girlfriend understands what you've put into just getting accepted to school and the real committment that you understand you need to have in school then she will be supportive in realizing that she may not see you much for the next few years. I know significant others, boyfriends, girfriends that get through the program with each other because they're meant to be together. However, I also know a few who broke up first semester because they were selfish and ultimately didn't belong together. Don't get married, move in, etc unless you're ready to, it sounds like it by your thread that you're not. If she wants a committment she'll have to wait, if she wants to see you then she'll have to drive out to see you, if she truely wants to live with you then she'll move in with you and tell her parents to deal with it. If someone can't sacrifice for two years to let their loved one achieve their dreams then that person isn't worth being with. Anesthesia school is really going to test your committments, it helps when people are understanding and help you out along the way, this also goes for family members, friends, etc.
  3. by   Athlein1
    Jewelcutt is right. Married CRNA here with a very strong relationship and a spouse that I would do just about anything for. But, I can tell you honestly that these past two years have put phenomenal strain on our relationship. There are ups and downs, of course, but I don't think we could have weathered the rough patches if we didn't have an established marriage.
    You will be working so hard at school. Think long and hard about how much "work" will be required of you outside of your scholastic endeavours, be it in a relationship, with kids, at a per diem job, etc. Because at the end of some days, you have one functioning neuron and half a nerve...
  4. by   saminde
    Quote from sway
    I experienced a very similar situation a few years back during my RN program. I was basically the only single person, out of 20 in my class. One really annoying thing I noticed was that people with families (especially kids) were constantly being granted exceptions to assignments, due dates, etc. They were always cut a bunch of slack because of their kids...getting to leave early, arrive late, absences excused, etc. I always thought this was totally unfair to me, since I see children as a life choice, and I choose not to have them but to do other things. Why should my preferences be treated as less important than theirs?

    Do any of you single SRNAs notice this type of discrimination?

    Wow... What school do you attend? I'm a married, mother of a preschooler and a toddler in an accelerated BSN program in Virginia... there are only 2 married people in my class, and we get screwed over! They schedule classes whenever it's convenient for the traditional students (for example, all classes in 1 day even if they run until 9 PM- when daycares have LONG been closed!!!). Honestly, I find myself having to fight to get a daytime clinical because I have no family here except my husband, who is working 24/7 to support us! Seems the grass is always greener...! Sorry to hear that all of you are lonely; I'm sure it would be nice to have someone to encourage you when you're getting frustrated. I think no matter what side of this thing you're on, it's hard to go to school as an adult. Money is always an issue. For my spouse and me (he's a police officer... you can imagine the pay with 4 of us living off it!!!), it's been one sacrifice after another. And NOW... I've discovered a passion for anesthesia and have been talking about grad school in a few years. I'm absolutely going to drive my husband insane with my educational goals. Good luck to all of you! Thanks for the interesting reading!
  5. by   PROPOFOL
    Try being single in the same program as your ex-girlfriend, who decided to brake up with you a week before school started. You both moved to a strange city where neither knows anyone but each other, you have to see her every day for the next 2 1/2 years, and now you don't even talk to each other anymore. How awkward is that? Your classmates notice this unusual dynamic and you can't even talk about it. It' a small tight knit group and everyone knows everybody elses business. What are the odds of a couple both getting in the same program first of all and then this happeneing. It really adds to the list of stressors in the life of a sRNA. Thankfully my passion for become a Anesthetist has prevailed and I am approaching the end of my first year with a strong performance. Oh by the way did I mention she is dating someone else and I'm still single...
  6. by   Gump
    Now that is an awkward and stressful situation...
    It's cool that you are handling it well...

    Don't worry too much about how you think your classmates view this. Just continue to be nice, sociable, and take it one-day-at-a-time...

    I find it pretty suspect that she broke it off with you a week before classes started, but will not assume anything... I'm of the belief that things happen for a reason. God has a plan for all of us and we are not supposed to know what it is.
    Be positive and stay sharp!

    -gump
  7. by   PROPOFOL
    Quote from Gump
    Now that is an awkward and stressful situation...
    It's cool that you are handling it well...

    Don't worry too much about how you think your classmates view this. Just continue to be nice, sociable, and take it one-day-at-a-time...

    I find it pretty suspect that she broke it off with you a week before classes started, but will not assume anything... I'm of the belief that things happen for a reason. God has a plan for all of us and we are not supposed to know what it is.
    Be positive and stay sharp!

    -gump
    Thanks Gump, I appreciate the words of wisdom. I also find it suspect and your guess is as good as mine. However, its all water under the bridge. It's now time to pass gas and get paid for it.
  8. by   apaisRN
    I;ve found this thread very useful in imagining how my life will be as an SRNA and picking up strategies to make it all work. I have two questions in particular for current students:

    1.) What do you do for stress relief/anxiety management? Meditation, yoga, sports, alcohol (kidding!)? I need to get some help with relaxation techniques before school starts, because I'm already a spaz NOW and this is just packing and moving! I am finding exercise very helpful, especially in preventing insomnia, but I have to really kuck myself in the butt to do it.

    2.) What are your study techniques? Do you read the text and take notes as you go? Do you copy your class notes over or record your lectures so you can listen later? I really need to polish up my study skills before I arrive at school and find myself drowning.

    Also - any advice about marriages? We've been married a year, together for 4, and everything is great - but I'd like to anticipate the possible stresses if I can head them off.
  9. by   lifeLONGstudent
    " but i'd like to anticipate the possible stresses if i can head them off"


    b i r t h c o n t r o l





    lifelongstudent


    (just an attempt to be funny - sorry, but i was ready to pull my hair out this morning with my hormonal 7yr old girl. she goes from :hatparty: to in 25 milliseconds, we can be in the morning about hair and then she give me :kiss in the car before i drop her off at school. the swings making me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , but i still love the :kiss)
  10. by   apaisRN
    Quote from lifelongstudent
    " but i'd like to anticipate the possible stresses if i can head them off"


    b i r t h c o n t r o l





    lifelongstudent


    (just an attempt to be funny - sorry, but i was ready to pull my hair out this morning with my hormonal 7yr old girl. she goes from :hatparty: to in 25 milliseconds, we can be in the morning about hair and then she give me :kiss in the car before i drop her off at school. the swings making me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , but i still love the :kiss)
    that's one i've got under control! absolutely no kiddos until after school. i'm not actually sure i want any at all.
  11. by   jewelcutt
    I'm not an alcoholic, but I think I've become one since being in school Seriously, I've never wanted to drink so much in my life. You'll come to really appreciate your friday nights. Continuing to work out really helps a lot though. And definitely make birth control your first commitment before anesthesia school :chuckle
  12. by   apaisRN
    I've got the birth control thing covered, no worries. I'm much better about that than I am about eating well, working out, etc. What do you for exercise? Do you notice a lot of difference when life prevents you from doing it?
  13. by   TraumaNurse
    Quote from apaisRN
    I;ve found this thread very useful in imagining how my life will be as an SRNA and picking up strategies to make it all work. I have two questions in particular for current students:

    1.) What do you do for stress relief/anxiety management? Meditation, yoga, sports, alcohol (kidding!)? I need to get some help with relaxation techniques before school starts, because I'm already a spaz NOW and this is just packing and moving! I am finding exercise very helpful, especially in preventing insomnia, but I have to really kuck myself in the butt to do it.

    2.) What are your study techniques? Do you read the text and take notes as you go? Do you copy your class notes over or record your lectures so you can listen later? I really need to polish up my study skills before I arrive at school and find myself drowning.

    Also - any advice about marriages? We've been married a year, together for 4, and everything is great - but I'd like to anticipate the possible stresses if I can head them off.
    1) Exercise is key! It can be hard to fit in to your schedule sometimes, but it helps more than anything. The other thing I do is "distraction". I like to do things that have nothing to do with school that help me forget about it for even a short time. I have been renovating my kitchen and working in the yard. This is productive and stress reducing. For me, anything that helps me feel like I still have a life outside of school is great for stress.

    2) Study habits...what study habits? I have never been a good note taker and am still not. I read the chapters in the texts a couple of times and that's about it. If an instructor gives us powerpoint notes, I will read those, but otherwise I stick to the books. I do not always read the required text. If I think a subject is covered better in another book, I will read that instead.
    Find what ever groove works for you and stick to it.

    3) Marriage tips. Don't talk about anesthesia ad nauseum to your spouse. Even a spouse in health care gets tired of hearing it (My wife's an RN). Make sure you spend some time with the spouse every week to either go out and have fun or relax together. Leave anesthesia out of "spouse night". Anesthesia will be a HUGE part of your life but it doesn't have to take up ALL of your life. Find the balance between school and play and you will do fine.
    Hope this helps a little.

close