Your Call Light is On Can I help YOU?

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he he! i got this idea for a thread starter from a previous post. what was one or more of the funniest or weirdest requests you have gotten when a call light was put on?

here is one to start:

can you change my tampon? (from a perfectly capeable 30 something to a really embarassed male nurse)

Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
I just wanted to see how long it would take you to answer.

Yeah? Try it again and see how long it takes for me to answer now!

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

Me: Can I help you sir?

Patient: I was having a good day until 3pm. Then another nurse took over. He turned me and told me I had to stay on this side for two hours, its been well over two hours.

Me: I'm sorry sir, your nurse is in another room with his patient that is not doing very well. (The other nurse is intubating his patient)

Patient: Well, I don't care.

Me: Well sir, I do. If you were that patient, I'd be saying the same thing to the patient that was complaining about their nurse spending all their time with you. (rolls eyes and walks out of the room)

I was not a ball of sunshine today at work.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

This happened at a previous facility that I worked at:

call light rings and sitter runs out of room:

Me: What is going on in there? As I am walking down the hall.

Sitter: He is standing on the bed.

Me: What????? He has no bone flap on the right side of his head.

I rushed into the room and convinced him to get down.

I lectured the sitter that she is to STAY with the pt. Especially since he could have hurt himelf. Good lord don't people use any common sense anymore?

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Resident: Send the nurse in.

Me: I am the nurse. What can I do for you?

Resident: I need you.

*Kiyasmom walks all the way down the hall to to resident's room*

Me: Yes, Mrs. X, how may I help you?

Resident: Are you the nurse?

Me: Yes, Mrs. X. What can I do for you? Are you in pain?

Resident: No, I'm not in pain. I just wanted to look at you.

Me: Oh?

Resident: Yea. I just wanted to see if you were still ugly.

Me: Am I?

Resident: Hell yea!

:rollGotta love locked dementia units!

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Specializes in CTICU, Interventional Cardiology, CCU.
Another case of SAS (short-arm syndrome)

Usually when someone tells me she/he hit the call button accidentally I tell the patient, "That's okay, but we charge you $20 every time you do that, and you're insurance won't cover it."

Before you get your hackles up, I have yet to come across a patient who thought I was serious

haha had a rough shift lastnight and this made me laugh cause I deal with the "SAS" pt's all the time!!!:yeah:

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

Help! We have a code M going on in here!

Run in there, pt. had maggots escaping from his heel dressing. (Maggot therapy pt).

I can't eat spanish rice since then.

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Specializes in CTICU, Interventional Cardiology, CCU.

this is something that eeerrkkss me till no end,

call bell goes off

Nurse:can I help you

pt:I need my nurse NOW

Nurse: I am your nurse are you ok

pt: I NEED YOU NOW

Nurse: I will be right there (as I go rushing in b/c I work on a cardiac unit)

pt: my phone is too far away, my tv channels are different thn when I am at home can you find the XYZ channel so I can watch my show (ok you have a channel up and down button find it yourself), I just had dinner but you are the next shift so do I get another dinner? (WHAT?), do I need to keep this IV in b/c the other nurse said I was done with my IV stuff and the other nurse said you will take it out (yea highly unlikely she said that unless you are being discharged in the next 15 minuites), can you FLUFF my PILLOW (sorry but these pillows don't fluff they are made of Plastic, and this isn't the cardiac day spa but if you need another pillow I can give you one), can I have 5 bars of soap (you already have 10 bars at the bedside, why in god's name do you need 5 more)

my other fav is this one,

pt calls,

pt. can walk fine, no IV drips, only a tele pack,and was told he/she can use the bathroom b/c there is no MD order to measure the amount of urine they are passing so you can get up and use the bathroom when ever they want and there is no need to call when they need to use the bathroom unless they feel dizzy, sob or unsteady on their feet

pt. says I pi$$ed the bed

I say the after the first time this happens, did you have any problems making it to the bathroom, was something in your way?

pt says:no I can get up and go to the bathroom but it was easier to go in the bed b/c I just didn't want to get up.

OK this is something I have been talking to my director about..I ususally say to the pt. when you are at home do you go in your own bed b/c it is easier than walking to the bathroom, not in a scarcastic way at all but a legit question b/c maybe they have BPH that's unDx or incontenience, the pt. usually says no and says that they just didn;t want to get up and knows that someone will change them..I say well this is my home, if you can get up and walk to the bathroom you will benefit from it , b/c when you go home I will not be there to change your bed (eventhough the pt. dosen;t wet the bed at home) I have had pt's thank me for saying this and told me that b/c they are in the hosp. they think that they loose all sense o what is right and wrong. I Understand..but when it is all night long with the bed wetting and constantly changing the sheets as the pt. is walking around the room is killing me, and the pt. says well it's just easier to use the bed. I am totally baffeled why this happens.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Me: What????? He has no bone flap on the right side of his head.

Interesting. When I worked in Seattle our neurosurgeons routinely did craniectomies. Then I moved to Philly, where the neurosurgeons seemed to prefer lobectomies. When I asked why they didn't do craniectomies, the response was, "That barbaric!"

So let's see, cut out a part of the patient's brain so you can replace the bone flap, or leave the bone flap out until the edema subsides - hmm.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Help! We have a code M going on in here!

Run in there, pt. had maggots escaping from his heel dressing. (Maggot therapy pt).

I used leaches for the first time several months ago. Without fail, I returned to the room after the leach had finished feeding, then had to follow the splat and trail of blood on the floor to find it.

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ok now that I'm on the right thread.

Thought this one might help you all to smile.

Call light from the room with the sitter

Can I help you?

Yea ummmm this guy keeps trying to pull at his IV

10 minutes later another call

Can I help you?

Well he's pulling at his foley

30 minutes later

Yea ummmm can I have some towels, this guy pulled that thing out of his nose and that stuff wont stop coming out.

and yet another sitter who slept through sitter school

The sweet pleasantly confused old lady comes to the nurses station (the wrong one), IV dripping blood and states may I have a blanket or two? I would like to cover up that sweet young man sleeping in the chair next to my bed. I'd give him mine but it's wet from the water I just couldn't hold any longer while I was climbing old of the bed... you know you really should get mattress that are high enough to fill in the bed frame.

EEEKK!! I sure hope that person is no longer a sitter. Especially when the pts. is his sitter.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Interesting. When I worked in Seattle our neurosurgeons routinely did craniectomies. Then I moved to Philly, where the neurosurgeons seemed to prefer lobectomies. When I asked why they didn't do craniectomies, the response was, "That barbaric!"

So let's see, cut out a part of the patient's brain so you can replace the bone flap, or leave the bone flap out until the edema subsides - hmm.

I am in Detroit and we do this all the time to help with the swelling. Later put it back in. I don't see how that is barbaric.

We have a pt on the floor right now for his cranioplasty and he just before admit was caught climbing trees at a rehab facility (how in the world I have no idea) and he has a fractured arm. I am still trying to figure it out how he was climbing trees.

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
then i moved to philly, where the neurosurgeons seemed to prefer lobectomies. when i asked why they didn't do craniectomies, the response was, "that barbaric!"

interesting...in newark, de, not far from philly, the neurosurgeons did craniectomies routinely as well. it's also done often in hershey.

jess

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