Youngest labor patient?

FutureNrse · Feb 6, 2005

Comic Sans MS
One of the quotes to this is that the guy needed castration...he needed to have his butt in jail! He is a pedophile--that's all there is to it. :angryfire
The girl's mom should have been in there right along side with the boyfriend, for being stupid!
The two adults deserve each other, the young mother and the baby should have been removed from the home!
Too bad the county or state this child resides in didn't do it though.

Many years ago while I was working an on-call shift with childrens services I was called out late at night to pick a baby up from the hospital and deliver it to a crisis nursery, where it was being placed in protective custody. This was a fairly common occurance, usually due to the baby testing postive for drugs. When I got to the hospital, there was some confusion about what was going on with the case. It turns out that we were called in because of the grandmother, not the mother, who was 13. Everything was actually fine prior to grandma showing up. This is what happened. The 13 year old had been living with her boyfriend (18) for about a year without her mother doing anything about it. Then she gets pregnant, and has her baby. Still, her mom knows nothing. Hours before she is to be discharged from the hospital, her mom shows up. A nurse had to call security because grandma was making a scene, apparently, she was insisting on taking her daughter and grandchild home with her, which unfortunately was her right. To put it as kindly as possible, Grandma was scum. The daughter was horrified, but mom was threatening to charge her boybriend with rape. Anyhow, by the time I got there no one was sure what to do, take mother and baby? Arrest Grandma? I had to call my supervisor, and finally it was decided that we'd put the baby in protective custody, and start an investigation on grandma who was taking daughter home with her. The poor girl was heartbroken when I took that baby. She may have been only 13, but she was no little girl. I suppose the life she'd led had made her grow up fast. To be honest, if it weren't for grandma, I would have felt okay about this girl taking the baby home. Baby had been a little premature and the nurses had given the mom tons of instructions, which they told me she had taken very seriously, asked many questions, made notes, and just overall seemed very serious about caring for her baby.

So, I took the baby that night and the next day I did an unannounced home visit at Grandma's. I found grandma passed out on the couch, drug paraphenalia on the kitchen table, the house unlivable. I called PD to deal with grandma and took the daughter to the receiving home. At first, she was less than thrilled to see me as I had taken her baby the night before. But, by then I had made some calls, conferred with every agency involved and it had been decided that if possible we could reunite mom and baby in a group home setting. Which we did. I kept in contact with her for quite some time, and last I heard, she was doing well, still in the same home, graduated HS early, and was taking one class at a time at a community college.

I hope my story wasn't too long, but I felt that it had a place in this discussion.

CatPKU · Feb 7, 2005

I had an 11 yr old pt. I took care of her on the post partum mother/baby unit. She was a c-section and cried her entire stay because her friends could not visit her (age limit was 16 to visit). We never saw the father of the baby though she said it was her boyfriend. Her father visited everyday after work. He confided in me that if her ever saw "that boy" again, he would kill him.

nursey_girl · Feb 10, 2005

It's been common in our hospital to see 17 and often 16 year olds, but lately a lot of 13 and 14 year olds. All of the sudden it seemed...Where is this trend coming from? I'm not sure it ever did a lot of good, but I believe there is a decrease in sex ed in the local schools...

RNKitty · Feb 10, 2005

I wouldn't say a decrease in sex ed. More like a decrease in parental involvement, lack of supervision, increased exposure to sex in the media, etc.

allnurses Guide · Feb 10, 2005

It's been common in our hospital to see 17 and often 16 year olds, but lately a lot of 13 and 14 year olds. All of the sudden it seemed...Where is this trend coming from? I'm not sure it ever did a lot of good, but I believe there is a decrease in sex ed in the local schools...

No, not a decrease in sex ed ... there is alot of sex ed in school. I've had two boys already go through high school and my daughter just finished her "health" class, which was sex ed.

One of the trends is kids alone in the afternoon after school because of both parents having to work - the prime time for getting into all kinds of trouble. The media contributes too - sex is everywhere which is a good reason to turn off the tv. Movies, music, MTV, internet access to Mediaography (and not your Dad's Playboy or even Hustler - it is worse than that) etc.

Another thing I notice, especially since my kids think I'm a "mean mom" is that alot of parents are trying to be their kid's friend instead of parent.

Something else that puzzles me is why, after having 30-odd years of feminism, are our daughters not valuing themselves more highly and allowing boys to take advantage of them.

Granted, 11 and 12 year old girls are too young to grasp that and it is usually an older boy (or man) who is taking advantage here.

It is a complicated issue but not enough sex ed in schools isn't the cause. Sex is everywhere but no one really talks about restraint.

steph

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 10, 2005

No, not a decrease in sex ed ... there is alot of sex ed in school. I've had two boys already go through high school and my daughter just finished her "health" class, which was sex ed.
One of the trends is kids alone in the afternoon after school because of both parents having to work - the prime time for getting into all kinds of trouble. The media contributes too - sex is everywhere which is a good reason to turn off the tv. Movies, music, MTV, internet access to Mediaography (and not your Dad's Playboy or even Hustler - it is worse than that) etc.
Another thing I notice, especially since my kids think I'm a "mean mom" is that alot of parents are trying to be their kid's friend instead of parent.
Something else that puzzles me is why, after having 30-odd years of feminism, are our daughters not valuing themselves more highly and allowing boys to take advantage of them.
Granted, 11 and 12 year old girls are too young to grasp that and it is usually an older boy (or man) who is taking advantage here.
It is a complicated issue but not enough sex ed in schools isn't the cause. Sex is everywhere but no one really talks about restraint.
steph

I agree. Lack of parental involvement seems a huge issue. Also lack of the PROPER education. The emotional issues that go with establishing sexual relationships.....the gray areas......I have been getting into these w/my almost 13 year old a lot lately. We talk a lot about sex, feelings, emotions, and STDs. (now before he is 17 and wont' talk to me at all).

and yes, Sex sells HUGE on TV and media. I discuss this aspect with my son, as well.......I tell him no matter who you have sex with, feeling for both parties DO matter and get complicated. And the consequences are LIFELONG often.......

I wish MY parents had discussed all this with me. I started having sex at 15 in a very CLUELESS and CARELESS manner, never having thought about the emotional issues facing me down...just worried about "not getting caught" or pregnant. SO missing the boat was I......

Folks, Biology is NOT enough. (they teach this well in school). There is so much more to sex and sexuality. We, as a society, are being remiss in educating our kids about ALL the aspects of human sexuality. They are getting this education "on the street" consequently, and that is not a good thing, IMHO...........Oh, and we need to "walk the talk" as well......TELLING these kids anything and not LIVING it, is not any good. They see thru us so easily.

allnurses Guide · Feb 10, 2005

I agree. Lack of parental involvement seems a huge issue. Also lack of the PROPER education. The emotional issues that go with establishing sexual relationships.....the gray areas......I have been getting into these w/my almost 13 year old a lot lately. We talk a lot about sex, feelings, emotions, and STDs. (now before he is 17 and wont' talk to me at all).
Folks, Biology is NOT enough. (they teach this well in school). There is so much more to sex and sexuality. We are as a society, being remiss in educating our kids about ALL the aspects of human sexuality. They are getting this education on 'the street" consequently, and that is not a good thing, IMHO...........Oh and we need to "walk the talk" as well......TELLING these kids anything and not LIVING it, is not any good. They see thru us so easily.

There ya go . . . biology IS well-taught. It is teaching kids to respect each other and themselves. Teaching them that if they choose to have sex, they better be prepared that they may become parents and are they ready for that?

steph

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 10, 2005

I talk about this w/Brandon all the time. He heard a toddler screaming his lungs out at the store the other day and said "Why dont they SHUT HIM UP Mom?" I said, "annoying eh". He replied, "yes no kids for me til I am 30 and having nothing else to live for" (out the mouths of preteens eh). I said "ok remember that when you are 16 and a big sack of hormones" , to which he laughed. We DO keep the humor in it....but the serious undertone is there.....

He knows (I hope) what having kids can be like in a way, having a baby sister...the work involved, I let him see and do some of it. I just hope he remembers at 16.

I also have have shown him what STD's on males can look like, (GROSSED HIM OUT).......he was not happy. But I said, that is the side you don't see on MTV or Vh1. PAY ATTENTION, or this could be YOUR fate if you don't use your head.

allnurses Guide · Feb 10, 2005

Deb, I did the same thing with my sons. Showed them graphic photos of STD's I got from the public health dept.

And I have done as you are doing .. . keep the conversation open and look for ways to talk about illegal drugs, alcohol and sex.

Sometimes the best talks are on long drives in the car.

steph

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 10, 2005

You sound like my kinda mom, Steph! Way to go, I should take lessons from you; you have raise some to maturity already. I have YET to get close....

rogramjet · Feb 10, 2005

I remember a 12 year old girl who was pregnant. She said how proud her Mom was because her Mom was 12 when she had her. A grandparent at 24. And better yet, her grandma was 12 when she had her Mom. A great grandparent at 36!!!!

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 10, 2005

Yep I have had "parents" like that. I had a girl, 14, who seemed to be the most mature one in the room.....

.

...at least she was studying her algebra between contractions...... :rolleyes:

Her "mother" was about 34 or so, and so PROUD to be a gramma of........guess how many.....

10

Her 13 year old sister was about to pop, too.

Sad and sick, if you ask me. :angryfire