You Know You're A Nurse If...

Nurses Humor

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You know you're a nurse if...

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

For years I subbed on a more or less regular basis in an older ladies bridge group that had met for decades. They were all in their upper

eighties to mid-nineties and each was a retired nurse, with a couple of retired elementary school teachers added for good measure. Each had known me as one of them pointed out, since my underwear had pins! All were deaf but two were VERY deaf, despite hearing aids.

We met for lunch either at an upscale resort or a posh men's club that their late husbands (and my dad) had belonged to for lunch and an afternoon of bridge. No matter where we sat in any dining room, anyone at any table could hear nearly any word of every topic discussed. It was either :roflmao: or :blink:. I absolutely adored those sweet ladies but occasionally I wanted to just slide down under the tablecloth! It wasn't that people were laughing AT them. More laughing WITH them. Some of the conversations were wild!

I got there one week and according to my watch was five minutes early, despite my annual checkup at the OB/Gyn office.

Alice: "You're late, dear! You're never late."

Me: "I'm sorry. My doctor's appt. ran overtime."

Helen: "What's wrong with you?"

Me: "It was just my annual checkup and I'm fine."

Rose: "What KIND of doctor did she go to? What was his name?"

Me: "It was Dr. ___."

Rose: "Who? I must never have worked with him."

Me: "She is an OB/GYN and very good."

Louise: "Never heard of him."

Martha: "What did he do?"

By this time, EVERY table is totally silent because they're all listening to us.:x3: Lunch has finally arrived! Finally!

Edith: "You said you went to the OB/GYN? He remembered to do a PAP didn't he?" (Oh, LORD!)

Me: "I just finished a great murder mystery." :D

ETA -- All names have been changed to protect the guilty!

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Specializes in I/DD.

Can I turn this into a pet thread?!?? Dexter is so cute!

I'm not going to hijack the thread, when I was out of town my dog bloated and the boarding facility took him into the emergency vet for surgery (he is doing very well post-op), so I got to use some of my nursey powers on my dog too!

My parents got him home with them before I returned, and about the only thing they could tell me about the whole ordeal was that they were told he reacted to the anesthesia, and of course a thousand things run through my mind. I went to the vet and they said he actually tolerated it very well, and printed out his entire record for me. Somewhere in the notes I saw that he got 3mg of dilaudid, and it made him extremely lethargic :-/ I don't know if dogs metabolize narcotics differently than humans, but if you gave a 35kg child 3mg of dilaudid I think he would be lethargic too! Haha...

It was very weird to read a dogs medical record, they use normal medical terms and were very meticulous with their charting, I'd practically trust that vet to do surgery on me...

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Awe beckster, he is gorgeous! Haz, my pup, is a GSD /Newf mix.

Sorry, I had to throw that on...back to the regularly scheduled thread.

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Specializes in I/DD.

That sounds perfect! A Newfie will be our next :)

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Yep, the combined attitude of the Newf and GSD! :rofl:

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Back on topic, my mom will take her dentures out at the table when something under them is bothering her. She'll say "Sorry." I just roll my eyes and keep on eating.

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.

Love the goggie pics! But it always bothers me to see the shaved leg where the IV was.....Makes me think of how scared the baby must've been until the anesthesia kicked in.

Look at how afraid humans are of getting an IV.....And they get to understand the why and how of it. If only there was a way to explain it to the furbies!

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When you have unconsciously knocked on the fridge door before opening it.

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Specializes in Care Coordination, MDS, med-surg, Peds.

When you wash you hands in the bathroom at a public facility before and after you go and do it the "right" way!

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.

....a friend is in the hospital, and you refuse to let them spend nights there alone.

Any night I'm not working, I'll be right here in the bedside chair, keeping watch....

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Specializes in Ambulatory Surgery, Ophthalmology, Tele.
When you wash you hands in the bathroom at a public facility before and after you go and do it the "right" way!

We had automatic paper towel dispensers at the last hospital where I worked. Once on my day off I was in a public restroom and I washed my hands then proceeded to wave my wet hand under the paper towel dispenser but it didn't work. I was tired from my previous days shift. It WASN'T an automatic dispenser, just a regular one where you pull the paper towels out by hand. :facepalm:

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When you wash you hands in the bathroom at a public facility before and after you go and do it the "right" way!

I dunno.. when I see the signs in the washrooms that say "wash your hands after using restroom," I normally head out of the washroom and alert the nearest employee while touching everything in sight while asking the employee "is this sign only for employee's?"

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