Yep. Nurses do "eat their young"

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Having started posting here after I graduated, I've seen it first hand. Its not just a "say". Its the truth.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, to know what awaits us on the floor. But neverthelsss, extremely unprofessional of some, who think GNs or new floor nurses deserve "no respect" or that "the respect should be earned".

On edit: do patients need to "earn your respect" as well???

SMH!

Specializes in geriatrics.
No it is not. It's a real situation. Why would mods close the topic?? Because you don't like it?

I want to feel respected and guided as a new GN, not told I know nothing, and shouldn't participate in certain topics , even though I've spent months hands on in clinicals and practicum :(

We all want to feel respected, and respect is earned. I realize that horizontal violence exists in nursing, but I think that some people are too eager to claim bullying, when perhaps there is a difference of opinion. Generational differences also factor in.

As others have mentioned, if you're looking for bullying, you will surely find it. Every week someone starts some variation of "nurses eat their young" which usually becomes inflammatory and not helpful for anyone.

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Specializes in Vascular Access.
This is the most intellectual response yet.
Thank ya, Thank ya very much! uh huh.... :)
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We all want to feel respected, and respect is earned.

By this line of thinking, rudeness on first meeting is allowed until respect is earned.

Respect isn't just "deep admiration". It's treating someone with, well, basic respect: they are a person with separate skills and abilities and viewpoints they bring to the table, along with their own personal foibles and shortcomings (we all have them).

This notion that all respect is earned is fairly disrespectful in and of itself.

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" Come down off your high horse. You will find that the way to GET respect is to start by GIVING it. And you're not doing that.​" Um...neither are you~!

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"respect is earned. " This is horizontal violence thinking. Respect is given from 1 human being to another in every facet of life. A new nurse is a colleague credentialed to begin transition into the nursing profession. What part of this is escaping some?:sarcastic:

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Specializes in geriatrics.
By this line of thinking, rudeness on first meeting is allowed until respect is earned.

Respect isn't just "deep admiration". It's treating someone with, well, basic respect: they are a person with separate skills and abilities and viewpoints they bring to the table, along with their own personal foibles and shortcomings (we all have them).

This notion that all respect is earned is fairly disrespectful in and of itself.

With your notion that "rudeness is allowed", well that's not what I said, or implied, but if that's your perception, fine.

Earlier in this thread, someone provided various definitions of respect. Everyone should be entitled to basic respect as a human being.

However, when you are the new employee, respect is earned based on your knowledge level, work ethic and willingness to learn. That type of respect is earned, it is not a given.

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I read a dissertation not that long ago about lateral violence ("bullying") in nursing - the question was if new nurses still experience lateral violence. Since this dissertation is from this year and newer, I looked at it. It is very limited because it took place in one hospital with around 1000 beds and 160 nurses received a survey for this research - only 22% replied. Out of those 22 % there were only few who reported to be a victim of some form of lateral violence. The participants identified

- unmanageable work load

- being ignored or excluded

- excessive teasing and sarcasm

- practical jokes by people you don't get along with

(see reference)

But those were really few nurses and a lot of the nurses who received the survey did not answer that question and left it blank. It is really hard to say how common lateral violence is now as compared to years ago.

From what I see every day I have come to the conclusion that the generation that is graduating now and has graduated the last year belong to a generation that does not want to put up with shenanigans and continue to accept something just "because it is". They are better educated than other generations, grew up with technology and their knowledge is extensive. They seem to be very goal driven and they want to be valued and take responsibility. They do rely on experienced nurses to teach them, orient them, mentor them and they want to be part of the team. I think us older nurses - I am middle age - need to put some effort into understanding them and their motivation and provide guidance if needed that is helpful and sets them up for success. It is hard to be a new nurse, a very tough field to go into nowadays. I work a lot with newer nurses although I am not a primary bedside nurse anymore. And I have hardly ever run into a new nurse who behaved entitled or disrespectful. Pretty much all of them work very hard, do a great job taking care of their patients, are compassionate, and also suffer with the healthcare system that makes it so hard on all of us.

I do not think that respect is earned. Respect is something that is needed and essential in healthcare. There is some basic respect and courtesy that goes a long way and creates a better work environment. Trust on the other hand is something that is earned.

Reference:

Russell, M. (2016). Lateral violence among new graduate nurses (Order No. 10118898). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (1804413394).

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As a brand new nurse, you have a license to learn. You don't really know anything. Clinicals and practicum just give you a framework for learning and teach you how to learn. In the student nurse forums, you may be a rock star, but in the nursing forums you're here to learn. At least I hope you are. If you're just here to chastise the COBs for not treating you right, I doubt you'll learn much or be very popular.

(My bold) . . . this is so true. Nursing school is focused mainly on getting us to pass NCLEX. We might be lucky in clinical to get some great experience but it can be hit and miss. Good point Ruby.

(my bold)

I can really relate to this. This has happened to me on more than one occasion. Not the MRI scenario specifically of course, but rather situations where I've shown an avid interest in learning more and increasing my knowledge/understanding about various different areas/topics related to my nursing duties, but which aren't expressly included in my job reponsibilities.

I've been told several times by preceptors when I was a nursing student and by coworkers as a nurse, "you don't need to know that in order to do your job". Well, perhaps I don't. But I want to know it or understand it. Gaining new knowledge is what stimulates me, it's what makes me experience job satisfaction. I love learning new things and I love figuring out the solutions to puzzles/problems. It's funny how that rubs a certain type of personality the wrong way. It seems like they think that you're too big for your britches and are trying to show off. Meh.. I'll keep on doing what makes me happy and as long as it doesn't negatively affect my job performance I fail to see why it should be anybody else's business.

I like your entire post but wanted to say that the post regarding asking about MRI stuff while a patient was getting an MRI that took an hour was different, to me, than someone not listening to instruction and going off on tangents. It seemed like there was "dead space" to fill and the preceptee asked some good questions. Not something I as a preceptor would make a big deal about. However, your point is well taken.

I agree with this - as a charge nurse I get pretty peeved when a caregiver is supposed to be monitoring a patient and winds up schmoozing with co-workers instead.

Again, the scenario at the MRI didn't come across as "schmoozing" to me.

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Specializes in M/S, Pulmonary, Travel, Homecare, Psych..

Just want to add to my point that most of us are not talking about the same thing when we debate "respect".

The word "respect" is much like the word "love".

I love my mother and father. I love my sister. I love my cat. I love eating pizza. I love long weekend drives. I love men with dark hair who look well kept but don't look like they spent three hours to get to that point.

Each and every time I used the word love, it was conveying something completely different. My love for my parents is not the same love of the tall, dark, handsome (but not overdone) guy. My love of pizza is not the same love I have for my sister.

My respect for a new grad I've just met three weeks ago is not the same as my respect for a more experienced nurse who has been around the block (and bee right with me a few trips around said block). This does not by default mean the new grad has been disrespected or bullied.

The respect I give total strangers as human beings (the respect you don't have to earn) is not the same kind of respect I'm giving a speaker at an event lecturing on a topic they have researched that interests me (the respect that is earned, cause I wouldn't be there if I thought their body of work was bogus).

Semantics, yes, I understand I'm arguing them and that is just dull but I stick by my original point: You are all talking about different terms of respect as though it has one universal, absolute meaning that does not change at all with how it's used. That, in and of itself is nothing to worry about.

What worries me is how, people who should know better talk as if their use of the term is the only use. Truth be told, we're arguing apples and oranges. Consider how it'd sound if we did this with the word love:

"I love my mom."

"Ewww, gross, I love my husband but loving your mom is incest!"

Seriously, that is how this thread sounds to me.

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Respect for your nursing capabilities, yes. But there seems to a be a wide swath of disregard for basic respect. And when people quote ONE definition of respect (the one about esteem and high regard and admiration - which is all that was noted in the thread up to my own post pointing out there are multiple facets to the word) then it does indeed appear as though there's an implicit disregard for respecting people in general.

That is what is unacceptable. And when people talk about feeling bullied and overpowered and disregarded, they seem to mean they're being disrespected in general. Just because you know little about nursing doesn't mean you're not deserving of consideration for what you DO know and what you HAVE experienced.

I'm active duty military. I outrank most of the people I work with. I expect that rank to be respected regardless of what someone's personal opinion of me is (and I'm hoping they have a good one!). I expect some respect for my experience and my age. But if I'm a complete douche of an RN, I deserve no respect for that at all.

I have colonels above me who are absolute louses. But I stand up when they walk in because I respect their rank. I might not like who's in the White House, but I don't speak against them because my position demands I respect the office.

There's more than one meaning to this word. We would all do better to realize that.

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been there done that(meaning I was the one chewed out).

all I can tell you is that.. do your best to stay on top of your skills.. and eventually those nurses will back off.

bc you're new... and they've been there too long or have longer experience, of course

they will pick on you.

some will and some wont, depends on the place. that goes out to all professions.

that's the reality of working in society.

it sucks to think that there are more compassion in the nursing field, not so much...

but you know what,

as long as your skills are up to date and you show them you're a hard worker,

they will back off.

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Respect for your nursing capabilities, yes. But there seems to a be a wide swath of disregard for basic respect. And when people quote ONE definition of respect (the one about esteem and high regard and admiration - which is all that was noted in the thread up to my own post pointing out there are multiple facets to the word) then it does indeed appear as though there's an implicit disregard for respecting people in general.

That is what is unacceptable. And when people talk about feeling bullied and overpowered and disregarded, they seem to mean they're being disrespected in general. Just because you know little about nursing doesn't mean you're not deserving of consideration for what you DO know and what you HAVE experienced.

I'm active duty military. I outrank most of the people I work with. I expect that rank to be respected regardless of what someone's personal opinion of me is (and I'm hoping they have a good one!). I expect some respect for my experience and my age. But if I'm a complete douche of an RN, I deserve no respect for that at all.

I have colonels above me who are absolute louses. But I stand up when they walk in because I respect their rank. I might not like who's in the White House, but I don't speak against them because my position demands I respect the office.

There's more than one meaning to this word. We would all do better to realize that.

Your point about respecting authority is a good one, but I would add a caveat. Unquestioning respect, compliance, and the idea ANYONE above you is beyond critiscism can lead to terrible results.

I would say this though there is a certain time, place, and manner that is appropriate to voice your concerns. It is an incredibly fine line to walk, but that is true of every one including the people above you.

I guess I would say try not to be a doormat, but don't be a porcupine either.

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