Would You Prefer a Male Nurse?

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ZanatuBelmont

278 Posts

Specializes in Rehabilitation; LTC; Med-Surg.

My experience has been that women in general don't care about having a male nurse. I had one patient's mother in law try and get rid of me but the patient didn't care.

I have noticed this. In a few clinical rotations the few women that would "throw me out" was actually an overbearing family member, not the actual patient. I've encountered one or two females that have requested a female nursing student to help the "real" nurse, but out of the some 50 patients I've cared for so far, most of them women, none of them seemed bothered by my gender. They were more concerned with the fact that I had my stethoscope turned "off" and my lack of figuring it out, until I actually looked at my stethoscope. :-P

With that said, like most others here, when you're sick I don't think you are focusing too much on trivial matters of "social rules." You just want someone who is competent, compassionate and dedicated to their duties.

cjcsoon2bnp, MSN, RN, NP

7 Articles; 1,156 Posts

Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

I can't think of perhaps a few (maybe 2 or 3 times) that I have ever been refused to provide care by a patient. I'm not offended by it in the least, I know that its usually not personal, its just a person's preferences. I know that I have my preferences as a patient and if it was a non-emergency then I would like to see my preferences at least considered if not catered to (just as any female patient in my situation would have their preferences catered to.) I think one thing people need to keep in mind is that just as female patients can be modest (as one user put it) and they would like a female to provide intimate care, male patients can be just as modest and they deserve to have a male provide intimate care if that is their wish (as long as its reasonably possible.) I know that when providing care to my patients, male or female if there is any sign they are uncomfortable with something (especially pericare) I will offer to allow a female coworker to assist them (most of the time they say that its not necessary.) We just have to remember its about the patient and not about us, there are countless number of reasons why a patient has a certain preference in a heath care provider and its not our place to judge but to do our best to accommodate their needs and make their experience the best it possibly can be.

!Chris :specs:

deftonez188

442 Posts

I had a patient last rotation tell me immediately upon finding out I was the student nurse to care for her that, "Men shouldn't be nurses, you don't belong as nurses and I don't want you taking care of me" without a grin on her face - she was dead serious. She then went on to say that she changed her mind and would keep me as her nurse, but would make my day as miserable as she could - she was not suffering from dementia or any other potential psychiatric issue according to the chart (and meds :).

My reply, "You don't have to have me as your nurse, but if I can't be a nurse because i'm a male, tell women they can't be doctors and i'll go to medical school." - semi-unprofessional? Yes, but I don't get to choose what way my genitalia differentiate any more than any other person. I told my instructor that I didn't want her, and I was changed. I have to try real hard to be a nice guy - it doesn't come easy :)

ZanatuBelmont

278 Posts

Specializes in Rehabilitation; LTC; Med-Surg.
I had a patient last rotation tell me immediately upon finding out I was the student nurse to care for her that, "Men shouldn't be nurses, you don't belong as nurses and I don't want you taking care of me" without a grin on her face - she was dead serious. She then went on to say that she changed her mind and would keep me as her nurse, but would make my day as miserable as she could - she was not suffering from dementia or any other potential psychiatric issue according to the chart (and meds :).

My reply, "You don't have to have me as your nurse, but if I can't be a nurse because i'm a male, tell women they can't be doctors and i'll go to medical school." - semi-unprofessional? Yes, but I don't get to choose what way my genitalia differentiate any more than any other person. I told my instructor that I didn't want her, and I was changed. I have to try real hard to be a nice guy - it doesn't come easy :)

Very unprofessional, especially as a student. Even when a patient throws something at you, your response is not to tell them they are insane and a pain in the butt to care for. You remain calm, let them know you don't appreciate that, ensure the patient is safe, leave the room and notify the charge nurse.

Not saying what you said isn't true, but we have to remember we are there for them, they are not there for us. I'm glad your instructor was understanding, though - I'm sure I would have been stuck with that patient by my clinical instructor to "build character and professionalism" for practice.

deftonez188

442 Posts

Abuse is very different from being tolerant of others. If you'd prefer abuse, then you will undoubtedly experience it.

I also want to clarify that hindsight is 20/20.

ZanatuBelmont

278 Posts

Specializes in Rehabilitation; LTC; Med-Surg.
Abuse is very different from being tolerant of others. If you'd prefer abuse, then you will undoubtedly experience it.

I also want to clarify that hindsight is 20/20.

Part of my professional development class in my nursing program teaches us there are "right" ways and "wrong" ways to handle a situation. Making a snide remark back at a patient is unprofessional. Letting the patient know you do not appreciate the treatment/actions and leaving the room after you ensure their own safety is the professional approach. You should buy a Saunders book and answer all the professional action questions - you'll probably get them wrong with your current mindset.

I'm not saying you can't tell a patient they are acting inappropriately or rudely. You shouldn't, however - note I never said cannot - fire back at the patient. You are there for the patient, and your license depends on your professionalism. It's the patient's word over yours. The correct response is to make an effort to change patients, report the situation to the charge nurse, and remain calm.

deftonez188

442 Posts

"You should buy a Saunders book and answer all the professional action questions - you'll probably get them wrong with your current mindset."

Nice judgment, I assume this attitude carries you in your holier-than-crusade and helps you sleep at night. The topic is would you prefer a male nurse, not judge something I decided to share - if that is what I wanted, I would have asked for your 'professional' advice.

On second thought, perhaps I will open that Saunders book, gotta prep for the NCLEX brotha! GL in LVN school, and feel free to PM me if you want to keep going :)

vashtee, RN

1,065 Posts

Specializes in DOU.

Meh, I don't really have a problem with the message deftonez sent. My instructors were all about learning to set boundaries while delivering professional care. Some patients are abusive, and assuming the patient is A/O, it shouldn't be tolerated.

leemacaz

85 Posts

What about males who prefer same gender care, especially if it is of an intimate nature?...Not based on anything except the embarrassment they feel...not because of a bias that females are in any way inferior..

leemacaz

85 Posts

Mere rejection of a provider because a patient is uncomfortable (to varying degrees) with the gender of the provider is not being abusive. The manner in which they do so may be though...calling the manner of rejection rude is ok....then it might make the situation much better for all if the reason for the rejection is discussed with the patient...I think you will have a much more responsive patient relationship then...and not one that is adversarial. Some folks are more comfortable with a specific gender provider..some do not care.

vashtee, RN

1,065 Posts

Specializes in DOU.

I don't really have a problem with a patient preferring care from one gender or the other, but I DO have a problem with a patient threatening to make my day miserable and behaving with hostility because they don't care for my gender.

leemacaz

85 Posts

I don't really have a problem with a patient preferring care from one gender or the other, but I DO have a problem with a patient threatening to make my day miserable and behaving with hostility because they don't care for my gender.

I do not blame you for not wanting to be threatened..so if they prefer another gender trade off with a male if one is available....(as you are a female)

If one is not available....you might try talking to the patient...see what can be worked out...it might mean the rest of your shift won't be filled with hostility...If it doesn't work, at least you tried...and the best is if no intimate care is needed....

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