worried about my decision

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My father-in-law has been sick for about the past year with cancer. Just last night he was taken to a local hospital and then was transported to a hospital in Indianapolis. My husband received the phone call around 1am and he left and went to the hospital immediately. I decided to stay home b/c we have a 2 year old daughter. Turns out that things are not looking good and the doctors have now discovered that he has a large mass on his liver. Surgery is not an option due to the fact that he is very weak. The doctors wanted the immediately family there to discuss what was going on and basically go from there.. I guess where I am going with this is that I feel really guilty for not being there for my husband to give him emotional support but, at the same time we have a very wild 2 year old.. I just feel that its better if I stay at home with her during all of this but, I also don't want the rest of the family to think that I don't care.. Do you think I should have went to the hospital anyway?

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Not at 1am in the morning. Do not feel guilty. However, maybe join your husband at the hospital when your child is up in the morning. Do you have anyone (neighbor, friend) who can watch your child for awhile? Your family is in my prayers.

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i don't think you really had any choice at that time.

it is evident that you've been very supportive of your husband, and will continue to do so.

when it is necessary, i'm sure you'll make arrangements to be at your husbands' side.

given the length of this battle with cancer, i'm sure this was yet another insult added to this already arduous journey.

please accept my wishes for peace and well-being for all your loved ones.

leslie

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

What Leslie (earle58) said.

Take care.

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Hard decisions i know that the grandfather [and the father] would agree with your choice

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New mom,

I am in Indianapolis. My FIL was at St. V's on 86th street. I did not go when my husband got the call about his father. My baby was sick at the time. This was about 8 years ago. I, joined him in the am. He went with his mother in the middle of the night. If your fil is at St. Vincent, they had a wonderful support team. The nurses were fantastic, as were others. Many times I did not join my husband to see his father as I did not want to expose my baby to germs. However, there were also times, I took my little guy into ICU as fil wanted to see his grandson. You did the right thing for your family. I am sure that everyone understands. Plus, you could take your little one during the day. My prayers are with your family.

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Just an update.. My FIL is having trouble breathing and they have him on a respirator and also on steriods to see if that might turn things around but, the doctors have said if they take him off the respirator he will only live for about 3 days at the most.. I guess from what my husband has said is that my FIL is aware of what is going on and I guess a nurse made a comment that they will have to take him off the respirator and when he heard that he became upset.. So now, my husband and his brother are devastated b/c their dad didn't want to be on a respirator but, now they don't want to take him off either.. My husband has been pacing the floor all night and I can tell that this is really weighing heavily on him... Thank you for all of the responses and for all of the prayers..

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This sounds like an extremely difficult time for you and your family. You should not regret your decision to stay home with your child. You listened to your instinct and did what you felt was best. Staying home with the child may actually help your husband to relax a bit, knowing that things at home are okay ... one less thing to be concerned about during this stressful time.

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