Will you tell me about your first year as a nurse?

[hnnrgh]

I need some encouragement. I'm barely a year in and already, I feel like quitting. I just don't feel like a good nurse - I don't feel like I know anything, or that I can do anything. I don't mind slogging it out on shifts, and I've grown accustomed to the difficult shift hours, but I just wish I could stop feeling inadequate.

It doesn't help that I'm introverted and meek by nature. How I perform depends on who I'm staffed with (and it shouldn't; I really want this to change). In my previous ward, for example, the people were so nice and forgiving that I felt like I was actually friends with them. Shifts were fun, even if they were hard, and I felt like I was managing just fine for a newbie. Now I've been transferred and while the staff are also willing to teach, I'm always made to feel like everything that I do is wrong. My confidence has plummeted. I'm doing more and more stupid things because I'm always feeling so awful inside that I can't think straight. I'm like a self-fulfilling prophecy...

Please tell me how you all coped in those first years. I understand that it was hard for most people, and hearing your experiences might help me. What should I do to become a more knowledgeable nurse?

I don't hate nursing. I'll never forget the fun I had in my previous station. I just feel so inadequate, I don't feel good enough to be a nurse. My hospital bond ends in a year ... if I still feel this way, I'm really considering changing my career.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

You might find some helpful threads here:

https://allnurses.com/first-year-after/

My first year was not that great, so I don't want to re-live it :)

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

You are just beginning to learn nursing. It is a lifelong process.

Learning something new everyday... is one of the GOOD things about nursing.

I basically faked it the first couple of years. Then they made me charge nurse.

[NightNerd, MSN, RN]

I feel like it's a fallacy that if you get through the first year, it'll be a piece of cake. I'm about 2 years in. It is not. I feel like this is one of those careers where it's impossible to inherently know it all; there is always something new to encounter. Keeping some humility is a good thing, because it keeps us cautious and safe. It sounds like your new coworkers are more of the problem than your nursing ability. Maybe try another hospital or unit before throwing in the towel?

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

After a year, I quit feeling sick to my stomach on the way in to work. By year two, I felt "comfortable," more days than not, but still had days where I wondered why I'd ever felt I was competent. By year three, I felt good about going to work every day. Yet, still had tons to learn and got knocked down a peg or two at intervals. It's a never ending process, imo.

[nursingnugent]

I just recently finished my first year off orientation, but working in a fairly diverse ER, there were days that I would have anxiety attacks on the way to work when I knew I was supposed to work critical assignments because I felt as though I didn't know enough and that I had the worst time management skills of anyone there. I was so insecure about my skills and was constantly asking my supervisors if I was doing okay. As time went on I started to feel more comfortable. As someone who leans towards the introverted side, I really have to push myself on the job. One of the attendings in my ER told me that I was going to make a good nurse towards the end of my nearly six month orientation and I don't know if I could have stayed if I didn't have that hanging in the back of my head. Your colleagues probably have no idea you feel this way and have a completely different idea about your skills. It almost sounds like you are having more trouble adjusting to new coworkers and a new setting. It might be that you need to seek out another area to work in. You've felt comfortable before, you can feel comfortable again. Good luck.