hnnrgh

I'm close to my two-year mark in nursing and I still don't feel like I have all my **** together. I was working in a med-surg VIP ward before - not by choice, I HATED IT - and after making some errors I decided to put in a transfer to somewhere I would be able to breathe better. I wanted clinic, but because they wanted me to gain more experience they offered me day surgery, and I accepted. While I'm doing far, far better than I was back then, and I am happier, I just feel like my ****'s not at all together for the past feel days. The system's all different. Nobody really has 'cases' they're personally responsible for and everyone oversees the entire ward, so everyone steps in when things are not being done. Because I'm from the ward they have a very high expectation of me. I just feel like I'm disappointing them, because I tend to make careless mistakes when stressed. Yesterday, for example, I was transferring a patient to the general ward and brought down the wrong casefile. My colleague wanted that casefile, and she had to come down to give it to me. She even told me she was getting tired of me. So far, I haven't made any mistakes that were anything serious, but it's always the small things that I tend to get nagged for, and I just wish I could be that person who wouldn't need to be reminded of this or that. I want to be that person who can carry out her duties smoothly, with not a single person saying anything. So far, it's been two months here. If I continue feeling so inadequate, I'm considering resigning to find other options. Perhaps slower-paced work (because life in day surgery goes by like a blink of the eye), or a change in career entirely. I've always had the feeling that nursing was not for me. Not because I disdain the hard work, or I hate touching anything 'dirty', but because I'm a scatterbrained person by nature and even in everyday life I tend to forget things. I'm afraid that I'll ALWAYS be like this, no matter how much experience I acquire. What should I do?

I'm a nurse of 1 year, 8 months. I work in a medical/surgical ward where things are frequently busy and I'm often under a lot of stress. While my first year was rough, I managed to pull through somehow without especially serious errors. I really don't know what's going on with me these past few months, it feels like it's just been one mistake after another. My first mistake was in September - a missed dose for an eyedrop that was supposed to be given at 8pm. The patient went through the bill the next day and complained that this eyedrop was never given to him. That was when they found out that I had missed it out. I only realised the next day and put up an incident report accordingly. The rest of my months were fairly smooth (or as smooth as working in a busy, disorganized and understaffed ward can even be), but just last month, I made error #2. IV Benadryl 25mg was prescribed to the patient. As each vial contained 50mg/ml, I carelessly drew out 1ml when I was supposed to draw out 0.5ml. I got worried and reported the incident to my nurse clinician immediately. I also informed the doctor, who didn't sound very worried and said the patient would be fine (if sleepy). True enough, the patient did fall asleep, and I continued to monitor his vital signs throughout in fear that something would happen to him. He woke up, and went home completely fine in the end. A part of me regrets self-reporting, because nobody would even have known if I hadn't, but another part of me knows it was the right thing to do. After that mistake, I vowed to be more vigilant. To my shock, I did it AGAIN, just yesterday. The doctor had prescribed IV Cefazolin 1g tds. IV Cefazolin 2g was given in the operating theatre at 8pm. Our regular timing for antibiotics are 8am, 4pm and 12 midnight. Seeing as I couldn't give the midnight dose anymore, I stupidly assumed that the next dose, as I had seen in the system, was 8am. What I should have done was give it 8 hours later STRICTLY, at 4am. I've just been feeling so incompetent. My clinician in charge told me that with all these mistakes, I'll be getting a warning letter pretty soon. Honestly, I'm scared. Should I continue being a nurse? Does this mean I'm unsuited after all? I do think I'm unsuited to work in the inpatient ward at least, because I crumble under stress (which was likely the cause for my carelessness). I honestly hate working in this hospital. They're so understaffed that I sometimes have to take up to 12-13 cases at night, with only 1 assistant aiding me. I'm always considering quitting, but now I'm afraid that the disciplinary action I'll be getting will hurt my chances of finding a new job. I don't know if I should continue nursing at all. It's not that I dislike it, but I just feel like I can't do anything right. I've honestly been so depressed these few weeks that at my lowest points I've even considered self-harming (Don't worry, I always talk myself out of it). My low mood seems to be affecting my work too. I'm slower on the uptake, and even the most basic things are slipping my mind. Please, I need some advice. Is this a sign I should give up nursing? And if not nursing, what could I even do with the degree that I have?

I need some encouragement. I'm barely a year in and already, I feel like quitting. I just don't feel like a good nurse - I don't feel like I know anything, or that I can do anything. I don't mind slogging it out on shifts, and I've grown accustomed to the difficult shift hours, but I just wish I could stop feeling inadequate. It doesn't help that I'm introverted and meek by nature. How I perform depends on who I'm staffed with (and it shouldn't; I really want this to change). In my previous ward, for example, the people were so nice and forgiving that I felt like I was actually friends with them. Shifts were fun, even if they were hard, and I felt like I was managing just fine for a newbie. Now I've been transferred and while the staff are also willing to teach, I'm always made to feel like everything that I do is wrong. My confidence has plummeted. I'm doing more and more stupid things because I'm always feeling so awful inside that I can't think straight. I'm like a self-fulfilling prophecy... Please tell me how you all coped in those first years. I understand that it was hard for most people, and hearing your experiences might help me. What should I do to become a more knowledgeable nurse? I don't hate nursing. I'll never forget the fun I had in my previous station. I just feel so inadequate, I don't feel good enough to be a nurse. My hospital bond ends in a year ... if I still feel this way, I'm really considering changing my career.