will i get reported to bon?

From my short time in this new world here is what I know. They probably are legally required to report, some don't but it sounds like most do. If your state has an program that you can go through where you will not have public discipline that that is your best bet if you are reported. If you self-report it seems like things go better for you. I hid in the dark thinking that maybe I would be lucky and escape this unscathed. You are already in the thick of it (from what it sounds like) and it is probably best to self report, take the time and 'discipline' and get help.

I diverted and was in a living hell, hiding, lying, feeling like the scum of the earth, the **** on the bottom of a crummy shoe and I can tell you now that getting away from it once and for all/getting sober is a much better alternative.

Your financial situation sounds dire but you need to do damage control and mitigate the damage on your license. I am so sorry that you are going though this. There is support on here, these men and women have been to hell and back and are better for it. Your road is just starting (mine is not even three months old) you can do it hon. We are here for you.

Hugs honey

today i would self report, seeking peer support and rehab

i am proud of you for going to NA......

it would be tempting to resign........

best wishes, we are here for support :)

Most states have a requirement that you be reported. I will say that when everything first came down on me, when I was fired, and to be reported to the BON I wanted to hide. I sought help from a lawyer who was certain he could get me off on "chatting errors". This was very appealing to me but there was a little voice in the back of my mind that told me I was going to die if I wasn't honest. Addiction is life and death and without the help I have received at meetings, from treatment, and dare I say...the board monitoring I would not have the happy, amazing, wonderful life I have today. Sometimes the feels are overwhelming and I am so incredibly strong for having been through this.

I would suggest getting a hold of a lawyer, most will give you a consultation for free. Ensure it is an administrative lawyer qualified in working with the board. I ditched the lawyer early on, but I am so grateful for the advice I received. I learned how to be honest while not falling all over myself telling unnecessary truths.

Keep coming here. Some days this site was the only thing standing between me and complete terror.

Your employer has a legal obligation to report this sort of behavior. If they are negligent in those responsibilities it could severely impact the organization's ability to remain open. Best wishes for your complete recovery and may God watch over you and your family as you face your demons.

I feel like I should have resigned weeks ago....if not months ago!

The only reason I haven't self reported yet is because I was hoping to avoid any involvement of the BON since that will really hinder employment opportunities.

Thank you both for your responses and support.

when i call the board do i tell them i am being investigated for diversion or do i tell them i have been diverting?

I would suggest that you utilize the services of an attorney that specializes in practitioner defense. You journey back to patient care will be difficult enough without inadvertently adding to those difficulties.

Does your state have an alternative to discipline program?

I would suggest that you utilize the services of an attorney that specializes in practitioner defense. You journey back to patient care will be difficult enough without inadvertently adding to those difficulties.

I completely agree with what the above poster has said. Get a lawyer experienced in dealing with nurse licensure issues.

Always, always remember that the board is NOT your friend and is there to protect the public. Investigators for the board will use your fear and desire to spill your guts to hang you out to dry. They often act like they are there to "help" you when they are just there to build a case against you.

Twoyearnurse said that the board monitoring was helpful to her. My state has no alternative to disclipline program and I have faced extreme prejudice because I did wrong a long time ago. I will forever have a black mark on my license because I was naive enough to think if I just admitted everything, I would be "helped." By the way, just to be completely honest about my personal experience, I don't remember my investigator acting chummy or caring to suck me in, I was in such an agony of guilt and shame that I just admitted everything.

I do remember her saying to me: "What were you thinking?" As the years have passed my reaction to her question has changed from feeling insulted at the question to knowing that the answer was: "I assure you, ma'am, I was thinking NOTHING SANE at the time I diverted." That is the reality.

Anyway, as I have said here several times, my recovery is in spite of, not because of, my BON coming down on me like a ton of bricks. I had 10 years clean on Dec 9 because I got the right kind of help, not the junk that the board laid on me.

And I still haven't gotten a permanent nursing job since 2010, primarily because of the licensure black mark.

Good luck to you, newstart24! You are not alone and please let us know how you are doing. ***HUGS*** to you :hug:

Catmom :paw:

I agree that most employers will report the diversion because they are obligated to do so. Even if they just report the theft to the Board of Pharmacy the BON will get involved. I totally agree to get the help or advice of a attorney experienced with licenses issues. I think the self reporting would be a better option than waiting for them to get to you. I wish I would have done that! My advice to you is to stay away from narcotic administration while early in recovery. I know for me personally I have 14 years in recovery and I will never pass another narc even if I could. That is a risk that I personally don't need. You may want to seek employment outside of nursing until everything is resolved. I did everything from work in billing, sell insurance and was once even a telemarketer (which was God awful I might add). Just continue to do the right thing and go to meetings. I promise it will get better.

thank you guys for all your replies and support. I've been doing research into my states alternative to discipline program and looking at lawyers. more of the story...a week ago i was suspended pending investigation and asked to submit a ua, which i confidently did. but after reading some other stories i don't think a negative result will really make a difference. ... this stress is killing me. I will definitely keep up with the path I started down NA and counselling. I am applying for jobs outside patient care and looking at non nursing jobs and trying to figure out what I can do to earn enough income.

Just a suggestion as you move through this as far as non nursing jobs go. It didn't occur to me until last month (a full year after I was fired) that I could seek any job requiring a degree in "human services or related field". Look in the non profit section on craigslist