I've been a nurse for about 4 years now but this is my first real floor nursing job. I am 4 weeks into precepting on a MedSurg floor and I'm just wondering...
Why is it that preceptors generally tend to be negative towards nurses they are teaching?
My preceptor has tried to throw me to the wolves since day 1. Every time I've asked her for help or tried to explain that I was in over my head she just tells me that I need to feel this stress and doesn't help me at all.
This overall experience has been miserable but I have been trying to be a trooper and stick it out.
I had my first mini review with my manager today that overall went well she said she definitely saw me progressing and said I was doing pretty good. She said she was going to switch my preceptor for my last couple of weeks so that I can learn some different techniques ... and, get a different point of view.
I think that's a great idea even if I thought my preceptor was wonderful it's always good to have more than one perspective.
At the end of a very very long shift after 3 straight days my preceptor tells me that I'm going to work with somebody else next week. She proceeds to tell me that it's because there are certain things that I'm just not picking up from her and that maybe I will be able to pick it up from the other person.
A nice way of saying I wasn't doing well and that it was somehow my fault.
I'm just wondering why is it that nurses tend to eat their young?
Why can't they just be a little bit more patient and understanding that things take time and that I'm not going to be at 100% so early in the game. Why can't they stop for a second and put themselves back in the shoes of being brand-new on a MedSurg floor when it's very busy and there's 10 million things going on and you feel a little overwhelmed??
My problem with these comments is the generalizations most posters make. Not SOME nurses are bullies, but just NETY. That includes me. And while I am snarky and having fun here, I can assure you that I do not do that to new nurses. I have precepted many nurses, still all "work friends" to this day.
If you have a bad unit or a bad preceptor, maybe it's just that. Or maybe you had expectations. I did. Nursing school is nothing like working a floor. In any case, NETY does not mean "some", it means "all", and that's what I take exception to.
I also don't like that NETY is usually the new nurse's FIRST post on AN. Which screams to me just a lack of common sense, or troll/sock puppet to stir the pot. If that's the case, pass me the spoon.
I am sorry if I offended you, I did not mean to generalize to the point that people would take it personally, and I know that not all nurses do this. I am not a new grad, but I am new to the hospital/med-surg floor. I have done other things in my career that were somewhat valuable for my nursing career, but it was not working on the floor. I wanted this job, I love it, I am thankful to finally be here (have been trying forever). I in now way shape or form believe that all nurses do this, I understand your point that it is a generalization that could be perceived as pointing at every nurse who precepts eats their young.... I know that there are a ton of nurses who are wonderful preceptors. This is not my first post on here, I had some deleted because I did not want to compromise my anonymity. I actually posted on here because I wanted true feedback to the phenomenon. I also did not know that it was a buzz word that would cause so much controversy. I do have common sense, so I will in the future try not to generalize you, if you would kindly not generalize me as a new grad with no common sense who had expectations and is troll/sock puppet trying to stir the pot. (Wow, I am going to now have to look up what I have been called because im not sure what a troll/sock puppet is??)
OKAY, so #1 I apologize to anyone I offended... truly didn't mean to. I really wanted some honest feedback... that was all.... I have posted on here before and gotten wonderful feedback from people with so many different experiences and from many different backgrounds... Understanding different perspectives helps to understand why things happen, or at least gives you support that you are not the only one dealing with a particular situation. So obviously I learned today that NETY is such a horrible thing to say it requires its own acronym, and that it makes people really mad if it is even eluded to.... I would only suggest that if people want to make only negative comments (on anyones post on here not just mine) just stop for a second, think about what your about to say, and use the old theory of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"... I wasn't trying to stir controversy, I do not want a pity party, I do not have the meanest worse preceptor in the world and I don't need a hug and my hand held, I just was looking for feedback about why SOME (not all) nurses tend to be a little extra hard on new employees. I do appreciate the feedback, what I learned from this is that many (not all) nurses just have no patience for new nurses. They either forgot what it was like to be at a new job, with new situations and feeling overwhelmed, or they remember and they just don't care. I am not gathering that from the feedback to this thread alone, but from many threads on here where experienced seasoned nurses are rude towards the newer less experienced ones. I do want to thank all of the nurses out there that try their best to be patient, kind and helpful to new co-workers, whether they are nurses, CNAs, etc., It really does make a difference to them. I also learned that it is very easy to forget how overwhelming it is at the beginning and lose your patience with new employees because as a nurse 99.9% of the time you are VERY busy, but I am going to try to remember this so in a few years I don't become that person who is not patient & kind. Not saying I will be perfect, nobody is, but I will try my best.... So again, sorry for the generalization of all nurses, not my intent, and sorry to anyone I offended, or will offend if this gets read in the future, wasn't looking for a pity party or bashing of all preceptors, just looking for honest feedback, which I guess I got... many people are honestly angry by the term NETY...
Your post confuses me. At one point you are complaining about your preceptor saying she is throwing you to the wolves. Then you go on to say she is wonderful.
We have a girl at work who is precepting for the fourth time in a year. Precepting is exhausting! I used to do it when I scrubbed in the OR. Maybe your preceptor is tired of training. Maybe she is trying to cut you some slack since you have four years of nursing experience and doesn't want to offend you by treating you like you are brand new. Maybe it's a personality thing. Either way, your boss trust her to reach and precept. Try to cut her a little slack.
Specializes in Management, Med/Surg, Clinical Trainer.
To be real, not everyone can be a trainer. Sadly, some people are picked to precept because they happen to be the nurse who has been on the floor the longest, or the nurse accepted the role to get a break from working or maybe everyone else said no, and it was like tag you are it. This is not the best environment to bring in a new person.
This leads me to my second point, when a person is picked for the wrong reason, well they are just not going to be up to snuff. One of the big things that I see in your writings is that this nurse was not horrible, she just seemed passive-aggressive. This is not unusual on the floors. The person feels put out or dumped upon but will not say no, because they do not want to look bad, they may want a good mark on their eval or they want to please the manager. However, once in the role they may not understand the dynamics of teaching, get frustrated and act out.
That said, you as a student in this environment own some of this relationship as well. If you and she are not jelling it is incumbent upon both of you, not just her, to make it work so you get trained. If your needs are not getting met, it is okay to say that you need more support. However, if you stay to chart and she leaves for the day...that is not a sticking point. The patients had been transferred off to the next nurse and the only thing left was charting, so her job was done. If you did the care for that day she cannot chart for you.
Does management know this happens? Yes. This is why she told you that you are getting a different precept for a different point of view. And frankly, having only one preceptor is not a good thing. Another nurse will have other things to offer...that yes...this first one could not give you. Is it because you were not picking it up or is it her inability to teach it?? Who cares....the important thing is that the manager recognizes that there is other training that you need and she is willing to give it.
Overall, I would say maybe we need to find a better term to describe this behavior than to say 'eat their young.'
No, I am not a new grad, I however am new to the hospital/medsurg setting. I am not trying to make people mad, and I am not bashing my preceptor, I honestly was looking for feedback as to why so many preceptors are so hard on new employees. I am sorry if my post offended you, and I do not expect a big pity party, I was looking for true feedback.
Let me clarify that I was not offended or angry, just curious. You say there are more details you don't want to go into, and I can certainly understand that. I just didn't see where, in the description you provided in your original post, you were being mistreated or "eaten." You said that your preceptor has been supervising your actual nursing care, and just left you on your own to finish charting. You've been a licensed RN for four years and it's not your current employer's fault or responsibility that this is your first acute hospital job. Realistically, how much orientation do you think the hospital should be providing? (Not how much you would like, but how much is realistically appropriate.) What is it reasonable for the hospital to expect of you? Your manager is supportive, and you're continuing in orientation with a different preceptor. Lots of people's personalities just don't mesh very well, and that doesn't mean that anyone has been mistreated.
I would venture to say (and don't mean this as any kind of personal criticism, just a general observation) that, for every young nurse who feels s/he is being "eaten" by older nurses, there is an older nurse who wonders why younger, newer nurses are so darned sensitive about everything. There is some validity to both perceptions.
Specializes in Management, Med/Surg, Clinical Trainer.
That said, you as a student in this environment own some of this relationship as well. If you and she are not jelling it is incumbent upon both of you, not just her, to make it work so you get trained. If your needs are not getting met, it is okay to say that you need more support. However, if you stay to chart and she leaves for the day...that is not a sticking point. The patients had been transferred off to the next nurse and the only thing left was charting, so her job was done. If you did the care for that day she cannot chart for you.
Overall, I would say maybe we need to find a better term to describe this behavior than to say 'eat their young.'
I am quoting myself, but I was not quite done. Mentoring new grads or new to the floor nurses is very important so don't want to short change this thread.
Preceptors out there....I stated up top about the nurse leaving for the day when the charting is done. There is nothing wrong with that, but for the interaction could have been handled better so the new person did not feel slighted. What I have done many times in the past is sit beside the person who is charting, with my hands in my lap and wait. It only takes a few minutes, if there is a lot of charting to do, for the new nurse to suggest the mentor leave....hence her supporting the relationship. This generates good will on both sides, and what have I lost a few minutes of my time, and I have gained an opportunity to support the new nurse in her charting if need be. If she has enough info to chart, she will say so and ask you to leave.
No, I am not a new grad, I however am new to the hospital/medsurg setting. I am not trying to make people mad, and I am not bashing my preceptor, I honestly was looking for feedback as to why so many preceptors are so hard on new employees. I am sorry if my post offended you, and I do not expect a big pity party, I was looking for true feedback.
It's very unclear in your original post what constitutes you being "eaten" and what you need feedback on. You just sound like you're acclimating to the situation -- change is, indeed, stressful. Also, paragraphs are essential. One long stream of thought is very difficult to get through.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
First, I want to say good on you, at least listening to what is said here and trying to take the advice in the spirit intended. I think you are going to go far with just a bit of introspection and a good attitude.
Honestly, I just truly don't see this as a case of nurses eating their young. And I wish that phrase would die a fast death. It's misleading, putting the older, experienced nurses in the worst light from the get-go. For every mean, crusty old nurse eating her young, is another new nurse, entering the unit with a sense of entitlement a mile long and an attitude to match.
It's just the nature of the business, some people are more easy to work with than others. Try to take more things in stride, develop a good sense of humor------learn to laugh at yourself more and quit taking it all so deadly seriously. I had a hard time my first year in OB in a unit where all the nurses were friends, had been there a long time and I was seen as an interloper. I did not let it stop me. Kept the complaints to myself, kept head high, good attitude and did everything I could to lighten their load and worked very hard. When I made a mistake (minor ones), I would laugh it off and say a witty thing that was just a bit self-deprecating without being self-abusive. I laughed at stress, too. Most of all, I became an asset to that unit, being helpful in every way possible.
Eventually, it all worked. I was accepted and treated well.
Being a victim would not have changed my situation but made it worse.
You can't control others' behaviors, but you CAN control YOUR attitude towards them and what you choose to do next, and possibly influence things in a positive way for everyone.
Your post confuses me. At one point you are complaining about your preceptor saying she is throwing you to the wolves. Then you go on to say she is wonderful.
We have a girl at work who is precepting for the fourth time in a year. Precepting is exhausting! I used to do it when I scrubbed in the OR. Maybe your preceptor is tired of training. Maybe she is trying to cut you some slack since you have four years of nursing experience and doesn't want to offend you by treating you like you are brand new. Maybe it's a personality thing. Either way, your boss trust her to reach and precept. Try to cut her a little slack.
I guess I am confusing, because it is a really confusing situation to me... I am baffled daily by my own feelings, I really really like the girl, she is very nice and kind, as a co-worker, I hope we end up building a wonderful friendship throughout the coming years and look back and laugh about my precepting experience.... on the other hand, selfishly, I only get one chance to precept and learn this info then Im on my own, she is very high strung, she has been rushing me since day one, and as I said in an earlier post, there were some situations that I truly believed were handled wrong (which I did talk with my clinical resource coordinator about and got straightened out).... That being said, I have really tried to understand this situation from her perspective and I think I am cutting her slack, Im not complaining about her to the manager or demanding a new preceptor, I vented on here about her comment at the end of 3 very long hard shifts and how she said something that didn't need to be said... I do not think she meant for it to come acroos the way I received it, and I truly take that into consideration... There have been several instances where something was said that I believe she did not say or do to hurt my feelings or make me feel more anxious and more uneasy... but that is how it made me feel... Its just a tricky situation, but I know that she is trying her best and I am aware that the poor girl has been precepting for several months im the second or 3rd she has had in a row... like I said, crazy situation. hopefully since I am getting a new preceptor things will be better..
To be real, not everyone can be a trainer. Sadly, some people are picked to precept because they happen to be the nurse who has been on the floor the longest, or the nurse accepted the role to get a break from working or maybe everyone else said no, and it was like tag you are it. This is not the best environment to bring in a new person.
This leads me to my second point, when a person is picked for the wrong reason, well they are just not going to be up to snuff. One of the big things that I see in your writings is that this nurse was not horrible, she just seemed passive-aggressive. This is not unusual on the floors. The person feels put out or dumped upon but will not say no, because they do not want to look bad, they may want a good mark on their eval or they want to please the manager. However, once in the role they may not understand the dynamics of teaching, get frustrated and act out.
That said, you as a student in this environment own some of this relationship as well. If you and she are not jelling it is incumbent upon both of you, not just her, to make it work so you get trained. If your needs are not getting met, it is okay to say that you need more support. However, if you stay to chart and she leaves for the day...that is not a sticking point. The patients had been transferred off to the next nurse and the only thing left was charting, so her job was done. If you did the care for that day she cannot chart for you.
Does management know this happens? Yes. This is why she told you that you are getting a different precept for a different point of view. And frankly, having only one preceptor is not a good thing. Another nurse will have other things to offer...that yes...this first one could not give you. Is it because you were not picking it up or is it her inability to teach it?? Who cares....the important thing is that the manager recognizes that there is other training that you need and she is willing to give it.
Overall, I would say maybe we need to find a better term to describe this behavior than to say 'eat their young.'
I agree with you on several points, I should not have used the term eat their young for my situation... I honestly was thinking about that aspect as a whole when I wrote my original post, not truly thinking she was so horrible and mean and "eating her young". Bad choice of words.
I also wholeheartedly agree that having more than one preceptor is extremely valuable, I think it should be like that for everyone, even if you love your preceptor, I think it is important to see several different styles. Everyone has a different way of getting to the same end result, just different techniques, styles, etc. some work for people, some don't, so getting exposure to several different styles and techniques gives the opportunity to pick and choose what works for you, sometimes incorporating bits and pieces from each person. I have already done that when it comes to brain sheets, incorporated several I have seen used because I liked parts from each & made one that works for me. There are certain things that have explicit policy on how it must be done, and it is important to follow policy, but there is nothing in policy about how the flow of your shift goes (except for timed meds maybe), and how you write your narrative note, each person is different. So I am definitely looking forward to learning some other techniques and styles & getting a different perspective. I would be happy about this opportunity even if things were absolutely perfect.
I am doing everything I can to facilitate my learning process. I agree that it does not matter whether its her teaching style or my learning style, or both at fault for things I might not be catching on to as quickly, what is important is that I am getting the opportunity to learn from another perspective. The last place I worked gave the new nurses (often new grads) 2 days of training for long term care and then left them on their own, so I definitely value the opportunity to be trained properly. Even if I never got a new preceptor I still would have gotten proper training overall, maybe not in a style that was best for me, but that is irrelevant. I know that you don't walk into a new job and get to say, "um can someone else teach me, her/his style of teaching doesn't work great for me. Thank you!"
I can see why your original post raised some hackles. First, you stated then repeated a phrase that has no meaning other than to insult. You applied it to nurses in general not just an experience you have had with one preceptor. Continuing the story of your three weeks of orientation just sounds like a slight personality clash where your preceptor admitted she could not teach you things she feels you need to know, apparently agreeing with your manager that a different (not better) preceptor would be able to teach you better. I don't believe she expects you to be 100%, maybe that is pressure you are putting on yourself and blaming her.
Knowing how stressful floor nursing is, I can't imagine the additional stress your preceptor is under having just survived a management swoop of house cleaning out the old nurses. She may not have that much experience herself. And who knows how you were presented to her. A nurse with 4 years experience is vastly different from a nurse who has had her license 4 years. Your previous experience puts you on par with a new grad without the protective coating.
Not everyone on this forum is going to research your profile or even read all the back pedaling you have done in your subsequent posts before they comment, so prepare yourself for some additional pushback. I am really surprised at your being a member since Sept 2014 and not being familiar with the NETY topic. It's an overused term with baggage that brings the venom out.
Hopefully your new preceptor will mesh with your goals of being a hospital based nurse and get you up to speed with as little damage as possible. You are the future of nursing and will be teaching the newer nurses sooner than you expect.
Sorry if this sounds like I'm bashing someone who has already taken a hit. You have more than responded to your original post in a positive way that shows insight. I think you're gonna make it!!
Let me clarify that I was not offended or angry, just curious. You say there are more details you don't want to go into, and I can certainly understand that. I just didn't see where, in the description you provided in your original post, you were being mistreated or "eaten." You said that your preceptor has been supervising your actual nursing care, and just left you on your own to finish charting. You've been a licensed RN for four years and it's not your current employer's fault or responsibility that this is your first acute hospital job. Realistically, how much orientation do you think the hospital should be providing? (Not how much you would like, but how much is realistically appropriate.) What is it reasonable for the hospital to expect of you? Your manager is supportive, and you're continuing in orientation with a different preceptor. Lots of people's personalities just don't mesh very well, and that doesn't mean that anyone has been mistreated.
I would venture to say (and don't mean this as any kind of personal criticism, just a general observation) that, for every young nurse who feels s/he is being "eaten" by older nurses, there is an older nurse who wonders why younger, newer nurses are so darned sensitive about everything. There is some validity to both perceptions.
I don't think I am being horribly mistreated at all, I really shouldn't have even put up the post. I was taken aback by her comment at the end of the shift, that made me think about the saying, so I put my thoughts up there. And unfortunately for me and my preceptor, neither one of us is terribly young, ha ha, we are both the same age, mid towards later 30s with families. As I pointed out in one of my earlier replies, I actually think we are a little too much alike, a little high strung, want things done just a certain way, and wear our mood on our face, so if we are stressed, you can see it. So if I am running late on charting since I am slower (will get faster with time) in my head im spazzing out thinking "I need to chart, I need to give this med, I need to put in that order, Oh gosh look at the clock" and then my preceptor tells me "Hey you need to get your charting done, you have that order to put in, don't forget that med, you really need to work on your speed"... and I mentally start to combust. I do everything I can not to let this show, but in my brain I just short circuited.
So I do appreciate your feedback, and I may not be that young, but obviously I am very sensitive. Just am, I try not to be, and usually after some thought I can brush something off, and understand it was not intended to hurt my feelings or increase my stress, but at the moment, that is how I receive it. But all I can do is be self aware, and try to do things like post my thoughts/feelings on a website vs. going to my manager crying because my feelings were hurt (I didn't cry, just an exaggerated example).
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nursy1, BSN, RN
50 Posts
I am sorry if I offended you, I did not mean to generalize to the point that people would take it personally, and I know that not all nurses do this. I am not a new grad, but I am new to the hospital/med-surg floor. I have done other things in my career that were somewhat valuable for my nursing career, but it was not working on the floor. I wanted this job, I love it, I am thankful to finally be here (have been trying forever). I in now way shape or form believe that all nurses do this, I understand your point that it is a generalization that could be perceived as pointing at every nurse who precepts eats their young.... I know that there are a ton of nurses who are wonderful preceptors. This is not my first post on here, I had some deleted because I did not want to compromise my anonymity. I actually posted on here because I wanted true feedback to the phenomenon. I also did not know that it was a buzz word that would cause so much controversy. I do have common sense, so I will in the future try not to generalize you, if you would kindly not generalize me as a new grad with no common sense who had expectations and is troll/sock puppet trying to stir the pot. (Wow, I am going to now have to look up what I have been called because im not sure what a troll/sock puppet is??)