Why do people abuse nurses?

squeakykitty · Mar 19, 2008

I'm sure the police deal with stressed out people and families too. Just try to hit or kick a police officer and see what happens.

Pepper spray, tazer, handcuffs-----too bad nurses can't carry these.

squeakykitty · Mar 19, 2008

Yeeeeeeeee--hhaaahhh!!!!!

:bowingpur:yeah: :bow:

Way to go, miko014. Too bad the Press-Ganey people aren't forced to do triage in the ER.

Ooh, I had a pt go off on me tonight, and I gave it right back to him, probably thanks to this thread, lol! But I had just gotten out of report, and my tech came up to me and said that the pt wanted his wallet back. I had no idea where his wallet was, because the nurse before me had forgotten to mention that he had given it to her for safekeeping while he was down at a test. Anyway, I found it where we usually lock stuff up and took it into his room. I handed it to him, and before I could even introduce myself (had never taken care of him before), he started yelling about his pills. I asked what pills he was talking about, and he wanted his home meds. I said they were still locked up, because it's against our policy to allow home meds at the bedside. He wouldn't let me explain why, and when I asked him what pills he wanted and why, he went off about how he's been laying there for days without his...let's say claritin. Something minor, anyway. Don't want to give too much info. Anyhow, he continued to yell at me, tell me that I didn't care, etc. I said, "You're yelling at me, and you don't even know who I am." He said, "I don't care what you say, you're not my nurse!" I said, "Actually, I am. You still haven't let me introduce myself." He said, "Well then get your name up on that board!" (We have dry erase board with date, RN name, and tech name.) I said, "It's already there, did you look?" Anyway, I was trying to stay calm, but the more he yelled, the more I got mad. I finally said something along the lines of, "Look, you need to show me some respect. You didn't even tell me your allergies were bothering you, and you won't let me explain why you can't have your own pills. I'll get you whatever you need, but you have to calm down and speak to me like a human being. I'm sorry you're sick, and I want you to feel better, but you cannot talk to me or any other staff member like this." He said, "Why, did they tell you I do this?" I said, "Nobody told me anything. I have had one experience with you, and so far, it hasn't been pleasant." He said, "I'm leaving, pack my stuff. I'm calling my doctor. You want me to leave, don't you?" I said, "Well, right now I'm not having a very good time." Then he started pulling on the tape of his IV. He must have changed his mind, because he laid back down in bed instead, and said, "Just do whatever you want, lady." I said, "I want to help you, but I'm not going to do it if you don't start treating me with respect. What medication do you take, and how often?" Then he started in again about how we won't give him what he needs blah blah blah. I crossed my arms and stared him down and said "Look, I'm going to get you what you need. But you have no right to speak to me this way, and if I hear you speaking to my tech the way you are speaking to me, I'll be back in here." He started yelling again, and I cut him off and said, "look, I am trying to get you what you need, but the longer you keep me in here yelling at me, the longer it's going to take for you to get what you want." Just then, one of his docs walked in. Apparantly he had heard the pt yelling at me down the hall. He said, "Mr. Smith!" in a very "what-in-the-heck-do-you-think-you're-doing" voice, and I said, "Can I get an allergy med order from you, or do I need to call someone else?" I didn't know this doc, or who he was with, but he was very nice, he asked me what the pt took at home, I told him, he gave me a verbal order, and I left the room. I have no idea what happened between him and the pt, or if he thought I was the "bad guy" or not, but he came out and signed the order just as I finished writing it, and left. But after that, the pt was nice all night, and when I left, he apologized for losing his temper with me and said he actually liked me a lot. One of the other nurses who had been in the room a few times asked me what I did to him, and I asked what she meant. She said he had been better behaved today than she had ever seen him. And believe me, I charted my toosh (how do you spell that??) about the whole thing!!!!! I used to run away from confrontation, but dang it, this job is too hard to have to be treated like that all the time! And it is so much more common than it should be!!!!!

Scrubby · Mar 19, 2008

I strongly believe that if a nurse is physically attacked then he or she should have the right to defend themselves. It doesn't mean you have to be violent but you should be allowed to push someone over so you can run out that door. I haven't been hit by a patient yet, been yelled at a few times but i just turn my back on them. I didn't study for three years to be treated like a doormat.

I had a very scary experience when i was a grad. I was sent relieving to another ward and i was given a violent psych patient. He was in his room with the light off. I was warned not to turn on the light because it agitated him. When it was time for his meds the charge nurse reminded me that i couldn't turn on the light. So i'm supposed to wander in a known violent patients room in the DARK, wake him up to give him his meds. I asked other nurses to come in with me, they were all busy of course. The security guard told me that he'd come in with me but wasn't allowed to touch the patient. So I poked my head in there and he appeared to be asleep but i really felt terrified, had this strange feeling not to go in there I felt unsafe and i wasn't going to put myself at risk. I asked for help again but no one was able to. So I documented in his notes why i did not go in there, the verbal conversation between the nursing staff refusing to help, the security guard refusal to help if he became violent. I wrote an incident report why the drugs weren't given and the lack of support, and the fact that the nurse in charge advised me to go into a dark room and wake up a known violent patient. I don't know what the outcome was but i know i didn't get told off. If i did i probably would have taken the issue further.

At the end of the day we have to protect ourselves. I have been in a physically abusive relationship and i don't put up with violence from anyone. If my workplace cannot provide for my safety then i'm not going to risk my good health to be a hero. I don't believe nurses who have been in a violent situation receive enough support and counselling, and i think this puts us at risk of developing PTSD. I'm sick and tired of the attitude society has that nurses exist to be someone elses punching bag.

The one thing that hurts me the most though is that nurses seem to believe that it's acceptable for a patient to be verbally and physically aggressive. I've seen nurse punched, kicked who seem to think it's their lot in life, part of the job, patient cannot be at fault because their in hospital, their sick and the law doesn't apply because they are a patient. It's a load of BS and it's about time nurses out there grow a pair and stick up for themselves and each other.

I'm going to step off my podium now. Sorry if i seem to vent but it's something i feel quite strong about.

leslie :-D · Mar 19, 2008

It's a load of BS and it's about time nurses out there grow a pair and stick up for themselves and each other.

there ya go, scrubby.

it's as simple as that.

it's obvious the martyr, merciful nurse has gotten slung w/mud.

it just isn't working.

it's high time to change this archaic image to one of unbridled finesse and competence.

being a nurse does not negate our rights as a human being.

we are here to assist in the path to recovery:

and not to be anyone's punching bag.

and my pair, are made of steel. :nurse: (do not trust that cute, little nursey face)

leslie:)

DP'sgirl · Mar 19, 2008

I find it totally distasteful for patients to assume they can yell at nurse's just because they think they can. :nono: I had a older man that came into our clinic yesterday making demands for his lazy daughter (fact). I informed this man that I was not going to accept his yelling at me and told my doctor that if she allowed our patients to treat me this way that they could leave or I would. I worked hard to become a nurse and I am not allowing a rude man to still my joy. :yeah: If we nurses don't demand respect we will never get it. It is harder some days than others. I have the Serenity Prayer hanging over my desk. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdow to know the difference. More power to my fellow nurses.:bowingpur:nurse:

proud2b1 · Mar 20, 2008

I think it has alot to do with the way you present yourself.Respect can most usually be obtained,by letting those people know,that you are competent and that you have respect for yourself.Although sometimes this is rough to get across! The way our management and facility we work for represents us could make a big difference too.There will always be those who are a challange,just like in our everyday world.If you think about it,I bet you can count a few that actually did treat you good and was very appreciative of what you had to do.Maybe it would be easier for us to only think about those situations?Also,I think alot of these kind of people are just this way.They are always out to bully or start trouble.Maybe they like to try to feel important in this way.There is obviously those lawsuit happy types that have learned to master a conflict to try to benifet themselves!!

Oh well, everybody,just hang in there because I dont ever see it changing in the near future.There will always be a scapegoat,in nursing I guess we are the easy target....................:chair:

rngreenhorn · Mar 20, 2008

Having worked in the hospitality/ service industry for 10 years before becoming a nurse. I can tell you that abusive people are everywhere. And often times in the service industry you are to smile and take it. I'm fairly certain the person who first said "the customer is always right" was a manager who rarely actually dealt with the customer. Anyway, if I was prone to violence, I would like to find that guy and flog him...

I do have a little more empathy for people who are rude and are in pain vs people who are rude because their steak is overcooked.

But, I still don't get it. I would never behave the way some of my patients/ customers behave.

malamarn06 · Mar 20, 2008

We as nurses have to deal with a variety of people, cultures, personalities, attitudes, and dilemmas every day of our working lives.

One must respect the situation. empathize with the people. AND QUIT saying " im so sorry im so sorry" we are not a meager perfession and as soon as we quit accepting that. The better off we are.

excuse the expression but i love being a nurse but i will not bend over and take it ! from those who are disrespectful and abusive!

~United we stand~

GGCC · Mar 20, 2008

I am really new, but I have to say that I have not been abused by pts or families HALF as much as I have been by other nurses.

I have had several cases of my NA being abused by families, but then I go in and ask what the problem is and it seems to totally diffuse. So I wonder if the NA presents herself as abusable and I do not.

medsurgrnco, BSN, RN · Mar 21, 2008

Everywhere I go employees are typically slow and often inept/rude/etc and rarely apologize for their mistakes. But if I complain to their supervisor, they back up their employee. But I'm supposed to be perfect and anticipate pt needs, and any complaint is taken as the gospel truth regardless of who the pt is. No wonder people abuse hospital staff!

tamara r · Mar 21, 2008

:heartbeat

in response briefly, i think, or like to- that we become almost part of their family, and therefore it is easier to treat us that way, because we have more of an intimate relationship at times with our patients than the doc's. we might treat our brother/sister differently than a close friend. i am not saying i enjoy it but, i try and understand it.

tam in vero

i agree with tweety - it's because we are with the patients more then any other health care professional. so we see the good, bad and the ugly.

that said, i've been doing this a long time and i personally don't think people are any more rude then 20 years ago. in addition, 80 -90% of my patients and families are cooperative, pleasant and thankful for the care that i provide to them. yes, we have moments when they are resistant to doing post op stuff such as coughing and walking but usually they respond with encouragement, an explanation, and pain meds.

overall my experience has been that the doctors are better then they used to be related to respect and conduct with the nursing staff - except for the occasional jerk. but you'd find that in any line of work. just my 2 cents after 20 years.

tamara r · Mar 21, 2008

:yeah:

:heartbeat

in response briefly, i think, or like to- that we become almost part of their family, and therefore it is easier to treat us that way, because we have more of an intimate relationship at times with our patients than the doc's. we might treat our brother/sister differently than a close friend. i am not saying i enjoy it but, i try and understand it.

tam in vero