Why lie?

[ally100500]

I have been waiting for a phone call from HR for a position that I supposedly got only to find a rejection email in my inbox this morning. The interview went great, we toured the unit where she supposedly was going to put me and the last thing she said before she left was, "Assuming your references check out you'll be hearing from us soon". I trust my references they are good bosses and colleagues. I know they didn't have anything bad to say.

Why would she blatantly lie to me like that? Is this standard practice for a nurse manager just to keep everything upbeat and positive? On one hand I am glad I didn't get it and get stuck working for the liar and on the other I am so disappointed. Nurse managers do you give an impression one way or another during the interview? Has anyone else been completely blind sided by a rejection?

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

"Assuming your references check out you'll be hearing from us soon".

I can see how this could raise false hopes. I know we also sometimes hear what we want to hear.

You were given several possible scenarios regarding why the job evaporated.

What you might do is call the nurse manager and calmly thank her for meeting with you, that you were looking forward to the possibility of working on the unit, and that you hope she'll keep you in mind if any future openings occur. But don't ask why you weren't hired. She'll either volunteer her the info, or she won't.

If you can't do this in a calm, cool manner then send a hand written thank you note to her. Keep the door open.

[MN-Nurse, ASN, RN]

Has anyone else been completely blind sided by a rejection?

Take it as a lesson learned.

Until you get an honest-to-goodness offer letter that you accept, you don't have the job. Verbal offers, handshakes, and anything else are crap.

I got an offer on my voicemail for my current job. I called back and accepted it, but in my mind until I had an offer letter - I had nothing.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

It's kind of like men. They might say all kinds of stuff that can be construed all kinds of different ways, but until he's said the words "marry me", you aren't engaged, no matter how hopeful it seems.

Sorry it didn't work out. The thank you scenarios outlined above are a very good idea and I hope you do that. Definitely don't let yourself get angry or bitter.

[sameyjaney]

I had a similar situation happen to me. She didn't even take time to check my references. She interviewed more people the following week and chose someone else. I was really hurt because I really liked the unit and thought the interview went well. When I spoke with her she said if I ever saw a position posted again I should apply because I "almost made it." I almost wish she wouldn't have said anything because that made it even more frustrating that I didn't get the position. Four months later I found another position at a different facility, but the same type of unit. And, of course I love that unit now. Keep your hopes up and keep looking! Don't let it get you down!

[bbie17]

I agree with others. Contact the NM and thank her for the interview. It will leave a good impression about you and lead to future job opportunities. When I first graduated, I interviewed for a position. After the interview, the manager asked for my certifications to make copies, ran background check, etc. and told me I'd hear from him on Monday. I didn't get a call on Monday, so I called him and was told he's hired someone with more experience. I still sent him a thank you card, and two months later, he called me back to offer me a job. I had already accepted another position so I politely declined. Bottom line is, don't burn your bridges and keep networking. Goodluck!!

[No Stars In My Eyes]

As a nurse of less than 5 years, I applied for a position in another state, got a call-interview and was invited for a face to face; went for that interview and got the job. I was so excited. Couldn't meet the DON until the next day, got a motel room, and since it was still early in the day, got a paper and began to hunt for an apartment. Found a great one for a great price, put down my money on it. Next AM went to meet the DON, who took me on a tour of the hospital and then brought me to the unit where I would be working.......NOT the unit I was promised, a WAY different job than what the HR had been selling me. I told that to the DON who said that this was the unit for which the job opening was advertised, and that it was possible that I might be floated to the other service OCCASIONALLY, but the job was for THIS floors service. I was crushed. I really wanted to get the position I THOUGHT I had gotten, looking to expand my experiences instead of doing "the same old thing" I HAD been doing. With tears rolling down my face I said I couldn't accept the job. Then I had to go back and get out of the lease, which they gave me no trouble about, possibly because I was STILL crying....Then I cried all the way home. My mother told me that when one door closes another one opens; and it did, and turns out it was the best all the way around that I didn't get that other job! So, you NEVER KNOW! I learned to thank God for UNanswered prayers. Might just be the same for you! Best of luck!