Why can't I let go?

Nurses General Nursing

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I recently graduated with a BSN, passed NCLEX and got hired for my first nursing job. I'm absolutely thrilled to be beginning my career, after a long college career. However, I'm having trouble quitting my grocery store job. It must sound so silly! I've learned that I'm very loyal and it seems that almost anytime quitting is involved, it had a negative undertones to me. I've held this job, at 4 different locations, for nine years--during high school, my first college degree and my nursing degree. The company, in general, has been very good to me. I said to myself, "When I get my hospital schedule, I'll quit." There's no need to put in a two weeks notice since they've known I would be getting a job and since there was an entire month between the day I was hired and went to orientation (this week). So, I got my schedule on Wednesday and still haven't given them a "last day." The scheduler texted me a while ago and I called her back, intending on telling her that July 4th would be my last day. Didn't happen. For a while, I considered staying and then I remembered that I'm charged $14 weekly for insurance. I wouldn't be able to cancel it and would be paying for it until January, if I stayed. I KNOW I need to quit, I'm just having a hard time saying goodbye. Comments/suggestions? I pride myself on my loyalty but even I know this is extreme...

Specializes in critical care.

I've never heard of an employer that requires you to buy insurance through them; can't you just opt-out? I'm sure there are other employees who have coverage elsewhere, through their parents, spouses, etc.

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its like this....

i just bought a BRAND new car, a 2011 never been used Subaru. The thing is awesome, i love it. I couldn't wait to drive it and pick it up. It was my first car i bought on my own after graduation (i graduated in '10). I had it all going for me, I had a college degree, my fiance had a college degree, we both got great jobs, i passed my boards, i got my license, i started my job, i got my CAR...everything was going perfect.

Prior to buying my car the ONE thing i had left of my childhood was my 11 year old car with 120,000 miles on it that i got when i was 15. i loved that car so much, i didn't want to let it go. Kind of like you don't want to let your job go. Its one thing you have that still is "your first." I ended up selling my car to a 17 year old whose father is a mechanic. So it worked out great, buuuuut i miss my old car SO much, but loving my new car, the one i worked so hard for.

Basically what im getting at is, your going to miss your old job, no doubt about it. But it's time for change. On your last day...take pictures of your job, take pictures with your coworkers, your manager, whatever means a lot to you (i took lots of my old car) You'll always have the memories of it. You can always do your grocery shopping there :) so its not completely gone. Its difficult to let things like that go...i understand. I felt like an idiot when i cried about my old car leaving. Then i thought about how happy that 17 year old girl was to get her first car.

So it will all work out, give it time...you'll like your new job and you will get used to the change.

lol, I will probably be saying the same thing about my car that I've had just a few months longer than my job. :D

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I've never heard of an employer that requires you to buy insurance through them; can't you just opt-out? I'm sure there are other employees who have coverage elsewhere, through their parents, spouses, etc.

They do not require it. However, once you get it, you're not allowed to make changes until October. Those changes take affect the following January.

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Specializes in critical care.
They do not require it. However, once you get it, you're not allowed to make changes until October. Those changes take affect the following January.

Ahh, gotcha. If it makes you feel any better, "goodbye" doesn't have to be forever. :) I know at my old workplace, people came and went all the time. If you are still missing the place 6 months from now, I bet they would happily take you back for a few shifts a month! Give yourself some time to settle in to your new job, then see how you feel from there.

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Specializes in M/S, Tele, Sub (stepdown), Hospice.

I won't tell you what you should do but I will say I felt the same way when I left my last job. I quit to start nursing school so I could focus on nursing full-time but it was hard to leave!!!!!!! This sounds super egotistical I know, but I felt like the person I trained to do my job just wasn't good enough!!! Not that I thought the practice would suffer (I worked for a doc...& I'm not that vain) but I really felt like I gave 150% when it came to my job. Being a perfectionist, I wanted everything to be done my way because it was the right way (sounds soooo stupid to say it out loud but it's honestly how I felt....haha) I knew exactly what & how the doc wanted things & the entire office ran so smoothly (we all were there for a long time so we ran the office like a well-oiled machine). It was hard watching the new girl switch things up. I never said anything...just told her to try different things but let me tell you......change is HARD!!!

I also missed the hell out of my co-workers & boss! We were like a close-knit family & it was sooo hard not seeing their faces everyday. I totally cried my last day & it almost felt like a break-up...so weird...ha! I left in 2008 & to this day we still meet up for dinner every couple of months to catch up on each others lives & of course to gossip about the new girls in the office (lol) & I definitely still miss them but you gotta do what you gotta do.. I'm totally happy with my current job & I'm coming up on 1 year at the hospital I'm currently at. :nurse:

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Specializes in ICU.

Why do you feel the need to quit? Manu nurses hold 2 jobs keep it as a comfort level till you get comfortable with nursing. Put the money back and save for something, work it part time.

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Specializes in Intermediate care.
lol, I will probably be saying the same thing about my car that I've had just a few months longer than my job. :D

ha, yea. it was difficult to let go. i LOVE my new car...super cute/sporty. But i really kinda had a grudge against it after my old car left. i was like "GO AWAY STUPID CAR.!" but deep down i loved it, super protective of it and wouldn't have it any other way. Kinda like a new job!! Best of luck.

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I won't tell you what you should do but I will say I felt the same way when I left my last job. I quit to start nursing school so I could focus on nursing full-time but it was hard to leave!!!!!!! This sounds super egotistical I know, but I felt like the person I trained to do my job just wasn't good enough!!! Not that I thought the practice would suffer (I worked for a doc...& I'm not that vain) but I really felt like I gave 150% when it came to my job. Being a perfectionist, I wanted everything to be done my way because it was the right way (sounds soooo stupid to say it out loud but it's honestly how I felt....haha) I knew exactly what & how the doc wanted things & the entire office ran so smoothly (we all were there for a long time so we ran the office like a well-oiled machine). It was hard watching the new girl switch things up. I never said anything...just told her to try different things but let me tell you......change is HARD!!!

I also missed the hell out of my co-workers & boss! We were like a close-knit family & it was sooo hard not seeing their faces everyday. I totally cried my last day & it almost felt like a break-up...so weird...ha! I left in 2008 & to this day we still meet up for dinner every couple of months to catch up on each others lives & of course to gossip about the new girls in the office (lol) & I definitely still miss them but you gotta do what you gotta do.. I'm totally happy with my current job & I'm coming up on 1 year at the hospital I'm currently at. :nurse:

We share some of the same feelings!

Why do you feel the need to quit? Manu nurses hold 2 jobs keep it as a comfort level till you get comfortable with nursing. Put the money back and save for something, work it part time.

I understand that and am still considering it. However, I don't want to be charged for insurance. Fourteen dollars a week sounds like a small amount but if I miss a week or two, I'll get charged all at once. I go from "I'm definitely going to quit" to "Maybe I'll just try to stay" within minutes. So as of now, I'm thinking, "I'll see how it is this week and then decide" cause I'll be working at both jobs this week. :bugeyes:

ha, yea. it was difficult to let go. i LOVE my new car...super cute/sporty. But i really kinda had a grudge against it after my old car left. i was like "GO AWAY STUPID CAR.!" but deep down i loved it, super protective of it and wouldn't have it any other way. Kinda like a new job!! Best of luck.

What kind of car did you buy?

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Cut yourself some slack. 9 years is a long time. Sometimes change is just hard, even for the better.

Plus, you can still stay loyal by shopping there! :)

Congrats on your accomplishments. Now go make it happen!!

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

Oh girl, I totally understand! However, you are starting a new chapter in your life. As hard as it may be, you gotta shut the door. You can do it gently and with feeling, but shut it nonetheless. Growing pains hurt, don't they?

I have a strong sense of loyalty myself, and understand the "negative undertones" that you are facing now with the impending end of your long standing job. Everyone at your workplace WANTS to see you succeed. You have no doubt developed strong friendships with the staff and saying goodbye will be hard. Instead of saying goodbye, just say "I will be seeing you as a customer instead!" Visit them often to get that 'warm fuzzy' that you love about them.

Did you feel the same kind of negativity when you moved out of your parents house? Did you tell them goodbye? Of course you didn't! You said, "See ya in a little while". Same mentality. You closed the chapter of childhood, as we all do, and opened the chapter of adulthood.

I must tell you that I know exactly what you mean. It is almost too hard to describe. My only "first" that I had no qualms about letting go was my first husband.

You obviously have a very big heart. You should do very well in our profession. WELCOME TO NURSING!!!!

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Oh girl, I totally understand! However, you are starting a new chapter in your life. As hard as it may be, you gotta shut the door. You can do it gently and with feeling, but shut it nonetheless. Growing pains hurt, don't they?

I have a strong sense of loyalty myself, and understand the "negative undertones" that you are facing now with the impending end of your long standing job. Everyone at your workplace WANTS to see you succeed. You have no doubt developed strong friendships with the staff and saying goodbye will be hard. Instead of saying goodbye, just say "I will be seeing you as a customer instead!" Visit them often to get that 'warm fuzzy' that you love about them.

Did you feel the same kind of negativity when you moved out of your parents house? Did you tell them goodbye? Of course you didn't! You said, "See ya in a little while". Same mentality. You closed the chapter of childhood, as we all do, and opened the chapter of adulthood.

I must tell you that I know exactly what you mean. It is almost too hard to describe. My only "first" that I had no qualms about letting go was my first husband.

You obviously have a very big heart. You should do very well in our profession. WELCOME TO NURSING!!!!

THANK YOU! You probably found the best example as when I moved two hours away for school, I was perfectly fine! I remember some of the girls in my dorm, with whom i later became great friends, were sitting under a tree smoking cigarettes and crying! I couldn't figure out what was going on! How could they be so sad to be going to college?! Now, it's me sitting under the tree (with NO cigarette, of course)! :lol2: Thank you for the comparison. It helps! :redbeathe

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I think I understand where you are coming from. I am currently picking up shifts left and right at a job that I both love and feel I am ready to move on from, and am trying to scrape pennies to make minor improvements to my first house (which I bought when I was 21 and engaged; I'm now 30 and divorced) to try to sell it in a crappy market so I can move and start the nursing program in September that I *finally* got into.

I have mixed feelings... I curse that darned house that feels like a potential money pit, I get frustrated at my lack of skill usage at work, I daydream about moving forward from both.. but I think I'm gonna cry my eyes out when the big change time comes.

I don't know if you like country music, but if you do, check out Trace Adkins' "You're Gonna Miss This". :heartbeat

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