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Why Do People Bully Me?

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TheCommuter has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

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Bullying results in dire consequences for many nurses and other healthcare workers, including job loss, public humiliation, anxiety, depression, and shattered professional reputations. This article discusses the types of nurses that bullies frequently target and offers some 'bully-proofing' strategies. You are reading page 5 of Why Do People Bully Me?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

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The "young and hot comment"...............hysterical! Thanks for the laugh :-)

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19,615 Visitors; 1,735 Posts

bullies sure exist but so do those that cherish the victim role.

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royhanosn specializes in psych, general, emerg, mash.

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it will not stop, its been around since the dawn of time. I confronted mine, he backed off. Consider bullying a learned behavior. They have to learn it from some one..usually dad or mom!

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Jerry 75 specializes in ER, Psych, Telephone Triage.

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In Your Face

Sadly enough when you have exhausted your resources to stop the harassment you may have to wind up becoming the aggressor. I had the displeasure of being provoked by a very annoying co worker who just would not stop messing with me even after asking for change in a very well mannered gentlemanly way numerous times, evenspeaking to the supervisor did nothing "Oh that's just the way he is don't let it bother you" but he was spoken to by Super Finally I was fed up took him into a supplyroom and gave him the Stink eye and told him Don't you ever pull this"*&&%" again or I will"(($*$)&".

So the only way I could shut this clown down was to intimidate him to the point that he was petrified of me and started shaking., But my encounter with him proved to be fruitful. The behavior never occurred again!

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Great article! Unfortunately, I feel that this issue still is not appropriately addressed in most facilities. I'm a seasoned nurse of 20 years and experience this from another seasoned nurse, it's intolerable and she has inserted herself in with management, so that makes it even worse. I have spoken to my managers and was basically told to handle it on my own, but "let me know if it doesn't improve", but the fact is, she is disrespectful to me right in front of them. I really like the facility I work at, so I'm not anxious to leave, and I just keep hoping that eventually this will catch up with her and she will be the one to leave, even though I've read before that the bullier is often not the one that leaves a job. I have defended myself and at this point take it day by day. Thanks for the article! I believe there needs to be more focus on this is nursing school.

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Jerry 75 specializes in ER, Psych, Telephone Triage.

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I totally agree with trai1971Respect for colleagues should be taught in Nursing school. It amazes me thatrespect, professionalism, compassion, sensitivity has to be taught! You wouldthink that those would be some of the basic qualities of a person who wants tobe a Nurse or Doctor but obviously it is not!

Speaking on the subject of respect I have noticed over the past 9 years that my interactions with MD's seem to be much more Civil, respectful and pleasant. I hardly ever run into rude Docs on my phone consult. Used to be

"Why are you calling me for this"

"Doc I am calling you not because I want to, and not because I don't know what to do but rather because I am compelled to get your permission as perpolicy. Now are you willing to assist me or not?

Having said that the incidence of such encounters has become very rare! At least from what I have experienced.

I wonder if they are teaching interpersonal skills and manners to MD's inschool now!

How I wish that were the case 28 years ago when I started out in Nursing, a timewhen MD's temper tantrums were common place in the Emergency room

A Jamaican Charge Nurse of mine used to say. There are 6 words that open every door with ease "Thank you mam and if you please"

Getting back to complaining about troublesome colleagues. All you have to do is mention Sexual harassment,Religious harassment, Racial or Ethnic Harassment or discussion about any personal medical problems you have= HIPPA violation and that troublemaker willbe history!

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samadams8 has 20+ years experience and specializes in Peds and Adult Critical Care.

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How silly. They are ignorant of a mainstream Christian religion. Must be very sad people.

I get bullied too sometimes. I think it's because I'm young and very hot.

Seriously, this happens a lot. People get an attitude with those that are attractive and hot. Especially if they get the attention of males in the crowd. I'm not saying it always happens, but I have seen it be an issue. Like said nurse is supposed to come into work with a bag over her head.

People can be pathetic. I've also seen it occur with those that are very bright or incredibly personable. Other people will really like them, but certain influential people will feel threatened and cause trouble with them. Very highschoolish, but even amongst "professionals" it happens.

Redhead. . .you could poke a few holes in that bag to see and breath. LOL

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metal_m0nk is a BSN, RN and specializes in ICU.

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I've got a better question...

Why do organizations, co-workers, managers, and other spectators and members of a team working toward a common goal continue to let bullying go unchallenged and unresolved - or worse, leave the burden of the bully's anti-social behavior to be shouldered solely by the target alone?

[video=youtube_share;wAgg32weT80]

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LadyFree28 has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Pediatrics, Rehab, Trauma.

75,157 Visitors; 8,427 Posts

I totally agree with trai1971Respect for colleagues should be taught in Nursing school. It amazes me thatrespect, professionalism, compassion, sensitivity has to be taught! You wouldthink that those would be some of the basic qualities of a person who wants tobe a Nurse or Doctor but obviously it is not!

Speaking on the subject of respect I have noticed over the past 9 years that my interactions with MD's seem to be much more Civil, respectful and pleasant. I hardly ever run into rude Docs on my phone consult. Used to be

"Why are you calling me for this"

"Doc I am calling you not because I want to, and not because I don't know what to do but rather because I am compelled to get your permission as perpolicy. Now are you willing to assist me or not?

Having said that the incidence of such encounters has become very rare! At least from what I have experienced.

I wonder if they are teaching interpersonal skills and manners to MD's inschool now!

How I wish that were the case 28 years ago when I started out in Nursing, a timewhen MD's temper tantrums were common place in the Emergency room

A Jamaican Charge Nurse of mine used to say. There are 6 words that open every door with ease "Thank you mam and if you please"

Getting back to complaining about troublesome colleagues. All you have to do is mention Sexual harassment,Religious harassment, Racial or Ethnic Harassment or discussion about any personal medical problems you have= HIPPA violation and that troublemaker willbe history!

^THIS!!!

The nursing program I went to talked about lateral violence, bullying, harassment. One of my professors is a consultant and goes around the country doing seminars about how communication is essential in promoting the decrease of morbidity and mortality based on promoting effective communication, especially against hostility.

The organization I just got hired into had classes and discussions as a part of effective communication, tolerance to various backgrounds, etc...they even have a card, as well as a script in terms of promoting a questioning attitude, or "I have a concern" or "Can you please clarify"...as ways to start conversation.

I remember working with ER docs who were for the most part great, however, one would constantly argue with a particular nurse, and one who made it KNOWN that he was "THE DOCTOR." He would get into it with a Dr. who had all the qualities of the target the OP listed, yet would use humor, so he wasn't affected.

I think that for the thread as a whole, it is up to the target to be armed with dropping the harassment clauses, being direct. Harassment is ALWAYS about the POWER....so the target MUST ADVOCATE for themselves and be empowered to stop the harassment.

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redhead_NURSE98! specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.

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The disconnect seems to be for me that when one has all of these qualities, which are wonderful ones, how can one not rise above and not get into the fray? If one is confident, and all of the bullying education is "ignore it" then wouldn't one think that it makes the people who are bullying look ridiculous?

That description fits me extremely well, except for this one:

"The target is not a confrontational person. He or she does not respond. Frankly, the target is stunned and bewildered."

And people don't bully me. At least not more than once or twice. They know from my response that it's not going to happen. So I think you can be all of those things and not be picked on, as long as you DON'T ignore it the first time it happens.

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redhead_NURSE98! specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.

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And one more interesting thing--then I will stop hijacking this thread (although I am LOL'ing about the I am young and hot comment of a pp!! Thanks for the coffee out my nose)

Girrrrl, you gotta reward the regulars with an inside joke now and then!!!

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536 Visitors; 2 Posts

I had a horrible experience this summer. I am a new graduate nurse, and I got my first nursing job in the ER. I went in to the residency program. My nurse preceptor was so horrible to me - I think she could tell that I was nervous. She would call me retarded. I have since quit my job there - and, I now do not have the confidence to be a nurse. What I really needed to succeed was a good mentor, but unfortunately now, I don't know if I can ever go back to the profession. I had a high school coach who was both verbally and physically abusive, so when she began acting in a similar way, I totally cowered down. I am going through counseling now because of it. Some may say that I don't have a backbone - and that may be true...but, there is no reason that anyone should be harassing you in the workplace.

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