Who really wants to help people????

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 5, 2007

Compared to other countries, there is a clinic EVERYWHERE. It may be a long drive away, but you can get it. Now, I tried to understand you and even felt that I was being a little hard on you, but huh? Talk to who???? Appreciate what?? Have you been reading?? Been there- live it now in case you're skipping over what is being said in these posts. HAVE YOU BEEN THERE? Not as a witness, but as a victim??? ONCE AGAIN, I live in the inner city sweetie. Within the last 3 months there has been a child killed 1 block from me, 2 kids killed 2 blocks from (their mother's throat slashed and put in a burning van), 2 girls throats slashed (the youngest trying to save her sister from being raped by her boyfriend's father), my son was hit in the head with a gun and his shoes and coat given to him for Christmas (that is all that I could afford to give him) snatched off his back in the middle of the street, I could go on, and on, and on. Oh- and come May 19th of this year- it will make it 1 year exactly that I went before the courts for an incident that 2 men came into MY house, locked MY front door, tied ME up, stole from me and attempted to rape me before I began coughing like I was having some sort of attack (learned that one on the Oprah show)- so I don't think I need to talk to anyone. And I thought I was being too hard on you. Go figure.

I may be a lot of things, but I'm not your sweetie. So do not call me that again, please.

And if you don't have a car, I doubt you'll be driving to a free clinic anywhere.

And if you've lived there, you should know what I'm talking about. Oprah? Be serious. You've had a horrible experience - which only proves my point. Conditions such as that need to be addressed. Paramilitary groups in other countries are irrelevant to people who have had experiences such as yours. Why aren't people more interested in your problems and experiences? I don't know - it's part of my point.

Once again, someone's jumped to a generalist conclusion. Why on earth are you so angry with me because I think more should be done to help people that were in your situation?? And who am I "talking to" and "appreciating"? In all seriousness, and with all due respect, I'm completely confused.

DermNP2Be · May 5, 2007

luvmy3kids-

Through all this madness, you have been able to bring a little light. I feel you have possibly made a point here that has not been addressed and I feel the same way. You want to work with babies and that is an added "bonus". That is the same way I feel. I want to help people and being a nurse is an added "bonus".

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 5, 2007

When I was younger I wanted to help people to "give back". My thinking was to go to impoverished areas or the inner city or basically to find people less fortunate then myself. I was not very effective because I thought people had to be "educated" on how to act, and what to believe. It was humbling to learn that many people less fortunate then me would probably be more effective then me if they had the same opportunity and privileges that I have had. I am far more effective now that Ive gotten over myself. I just try my best to do my job, learn from my mistakes and learn from others who really do seem to have a leg up on me in the character department. When I started listening to my preceptors and asking other nurses for help, I slowly became some one who actually can make a difference. I also found that people who seem to have everything going for them can be blindsided by circumstance and end up needing assistence.

Exactly. No one chooses to be homeless. We need to give folks the tools to help themselves instead of tossing money at programs that fail as soon as interest dies.

This is why folks like Brad Pitt have the right idea. They're going in there and DOING, they're showing people how to improve themselves. But I'd like to see someone DOING in New York or Detroit, not just in Africa.

emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B · May 5, 2007

I pretty much have to agree with everything that carolinapooh has said. Additionally, I too am someone who is going into nursing because deep down, I like to help others.

As a side note which may get me flamed, with respect to the OP: virtually everyone I have ever met who says they're not interested in making money already has a lot of it.

DermNP2Be · May 5, 2007

I may be a lot of things, but I'm not your sweetie. So do not call me that again, please.
And if you don't have a car, I doubt you'll be driving to a free clinic anywhere.
And if you've lived there, you should know what I'm talking about. Oprah? Be serious. You've had a horrible experience - which only proves my point. Conditions such as that need to be addressed. Paramilitary groups in other countries are irrelevant to people who have had experiences such as yours. Why aren't people more interested in your problems and experiences? I don't know - it's part of my point.
Once again, someone's jumped to a generalist conclusion.

It is comments like this that foster such hatred. And I'm sure you'll read this and still not get it, but I love you anyway (if that is okay to say). First of all, let me apologize for calling you "sweetie", didn't know that it would offend you as much to incline you to spew such mean tirades. I call both my kids and hubby sweetie. Secondly, to say such a thing that since I'm on public transportation you doubt that I will be driving to any free clinic... don't have much to say about that because I thought that you were just passionate about the poor people here, but I guess you're just one of thos "Me? I'm prejudiced?? I work with a Black person" type of people. I say this because you defend "those down the street" with such conviction, yet I'm sure they don't have a car either- so do you doubt they will ever be able to better their lives or the lives of their children because "they don't have a car"?? I will make a difference, I will be driving to a free clinic, I will do all that I feel that I am meant to do no matter what my circumstances are. I've come a long way and I've come a long way on top against the odds- without a car as your compassionate self has not refrained from reminding me of. Oh yeah, and no matter how juvenile it seems to you, although I'm not an avid viewer of the Oprah show and I disagree with some of her methods, I do have an open enough mind to admit that I felt that that is what saved me at the time; the most frightening time of my life which you so humorously gloss over with sarcasm. I do live here- that is my point. If I can live through such horrible things and still want to help the WORLD, yet you haven't and still confine yourself to YOURS AND YOURS ONLY, what is the problem? Sorry that my poverty sickens you, from this point on I will refrain from any of your posts thereby preventing the possibility of any more judgements of my personal situation from you. I hope your life will always be blessed.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 5, 2007

It is comments like this that foster such hatred. And I'm sure you'll read this and still not get it, but I love you anyway (if that is okay to say). First of all, let me apologize for calling you "sweetie", didn't know that it would offend you as much to incline you to spew such mean tirades. I call both my kids and hubby sweetie. Secondly, to say such a thing that since I'm on public transportation you doubt that I will be driving to any free clinic... don't have much to say about that because I thought that you were just passionate about the poor people here, but I guess you're just one of thos "Me? I'm prejudiced?? I work with a Black person" type of people. I say this because you defend "those down the street" with such conviction, yet I'm sure they don't have a car either- so do you doubt they will ever be able to better their lives or the lives of their children because "they don't have a car"?? I will make a difference, I will be driving to a free clinic, I will do all that I feel that I am meant to do no matter what my circumstances are. I've come a long way and I've come a long way on top against the odds- without a car as your compassionate self has not refrained from reminding me of. Oh yeah, and no matter how juvenile it seems to you, although I'm not an avid viewer of the Oprah show and I disagree with some of her methods, I do have an open enough mind to admit that I felt that that is what saved me at the time; the most frightening time of my life which you so humorously gloss over with sarcasm. I do live here- that is my point. If I can live through such horrible things and still want to help the WORLD, yet you haven't and still confine yourself to YOURS AND YOURS ONLY, what is the problem? Sorry that my poverty sickens you, from this point on I will refrain from any of your posts thereby preventing the possibility of any more judgements of my personal situation from you. I hope your life will always be blessed.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???!!!! Where are you getting that your poverty sickens me? And you have NO idea what color I am - or am not. You're guessing, or attempting to infer what color I am. Again, you're jumping to conclusions and missing the point. People who don't have a car CAN'T DRIVE TO A FREE CLINIC - THAT IS MY POINT. You've taken something completely out of context. IT'S NOT ALWAYS about you personally.

Humorously gloss over with sarcasm? I expressed SUPPORT FOR YOU. I said more people need to be aware that that sort of stuff happens in this country and that it's disgusting.

I think Oprah has lost touch with reality. I know where she came from, but sometimes you have to wonder if she still gets it, despite all the good she does with what she has.

Confine myself to mine and mine only? What are you talking about?

Since you've gone there - let me tell you about the house I grew up in, after my dad retired from the Navy and we realized we pretty much had nothing. So we moved in with my grandparents because in 1984 we had nowhere else to go.

There was no central air or air conditioning, yet we lived in the South on the river, where the temps hit over 100 degrees. The front part was a trailer with a few rooms attached to the back of it. The trailer was about twenty five years old when I was a kid. The ceiling was beginning to fall in in several locations and the floor in my bedroom was detaching from the baseboarding. In short, the room was sinking. (There was a gap between the wall and the floor. Rattlers lived under the house; I never investigated whether the gap went to the ground.) We had huge palmetto bugs in every room in the summer, ants and roaches in the kitchen, and mice in every room. No matter how clean the house was, it didn't help. You can't call an exterminator to work on a house that isn't closed in enough to keep the pests out in the first place. In the winter it got so cold in the house ice formed on the ceiling in my room (the living room was heated with a kerosene heater; we used electric blankets). We took clothes to the laundromat because there was no washer that worked in the house. No one ever came to see me, no friends ever spent the night - because I would have died if they'd known what was going on at my house. (This got me a reputation as a snob, and everyone assumed I lived in an ivory palace. Yeah right.) My father was retired Navy enlisted who worked for the state. (Trust me when I say military retirement has come a long way since then.) He worked his tail off and managed to get a degree, but my parents didn't move out of that house until (blissfully) Hurricane Isobel destroyed it in 2003, at which point and at over seventy years of age, they started over. The reason they stayed? They didn't think they could do any better. Thank God my father didn't die there.

I've never told anyone outside of my closest friends that; there's never been a need to explain myself. Like you, I swore I wouldn't stay there.

I cried the day I got the house I live in now. I never thought I'd own something so clean or so pretty. (Or so free of bugs. I freak out if I see one ant; it's ant season here now, and I'm almost obsessed with getting RID of them.) I can't believe I've reached a point in my life where I have a nice car or lots of pretty clothes. And I thank God every day that I don't have to worry where the next check is coming from. I've been there. It can be done. No, I didn't live through what you did - but I was physically abused and raped by my ex-fiance. That was enough for me - I can't imagine fearing for my life on top of that. Well, I sort of did - he's a state trooper. How nice when you grab the phone to call the cops - and he reminds you he IS the cops.

So perhaps people shouldn't pass judgment on others. Maybe folks should just take a deep breath and think - because no one knows the other person.

Sorry if I offended anyone. Sorry that I have an opinion. You win. I'm done.

I've been misinterpreted and attacked enough. Obviously you don't want any support from me, no matter how much I want to give it. Sorry that I care about the poor in this country; I'll be certain not to bother you with my concern - I've already been attacked by you twice for trying to offer it, but you don't want any explanation from me.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · May 5, 2007

I pretty much have to agree with everything that carolinapooh has said. Additionally, I too am someone who is going into nursing because deep down, I like to help others.
As a side note which may get me flamed, with respect to the OP: virtually everyone I have ever met who says they're not interested in making money already has a lot of it.

OH MY GOD, I could cry. Thank you for at least acknowledging me; you've confirmed for me that I'm not nuts. I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but I don't think I deserve what I'm getting.

I've been misinterpreted. I care so much about the patients that I see here who have NOTHING but seemingly more problems and feel as though there's no hope at all for them. I know what it's like to not have health insurance; I know what it's like to live in a dump. I don't know what it's like to raise children in those conditions; I don't know what it's like to feel completely hopeless in that situation. I want these people to know that this IS America, this IS the land of plenty, and despite what they may think, there IS opportunity out there. I know there is. There HAS to be, or this country isn't the success we're purporting ourselves to be, we're a huge fat failure.

Somehow we need to find a way to show these folks that there's someone who cares. Perhaps a nurse is one who can start. Even just one person, one family is a START. And you have to start somewhere, right?

GR8LVN · May 5, 2007

You are funny! Of course we all want to help people, but I see your angle. Nursing has become a profession in high demand and it does pay well, but not that well. I do believe there are many Nurses in the field, just for the money. But hey, it takes all kinds.

DermNP2Be · May 5, 2007

carolinapooh,

I told you that it is okay, I'm leaving this alone because now I feel attacked on a personal level, not a humanitarian level. To clear things up:

And you have NO idea what color I am - or am not. You're guessing, or attempting to infer what color I am. Again, you're jumping to conclusions and missing the point.

When did I ever make this a point. That is what I feel you are missing. I don't know what ethnicity you are, I never asked, you never said, I never assumed. This has nothing to do with that. I was just speaking as compassionately about an issue that is as important to me as yours is to you. I don't know where you're getting that I assumed any sort of race that you are. That is of no importance to me. I have come in contact with those of my own race that disgust me. I was beat up on, thrown away, insulted by my own race because I talk differently- because of being and wanting to be educated. I didn't even go to my highschool graduation because of this; I got my diploma in the mail-so the color of one's skin does not influence me.

I think Oprah has lost touch with reality. I know where she came from, but sometimes you have to wonder if she still gets it, despite all the good she does with what she has.

I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY. What I was trying to convey is that I still can learn from those I do not completely agree with and that one bit of info saved my life, I feel.

Confine myself to mine and mine only? What are you talking about?

The bottom line: I don't disagree with a lot of what you are saying here. This is just one of MY personal battles. I was only saying that if I'm enduring the effects of this sorrowing experience and can still see beyond the USA what is wrong with that?

Again, you're jumping to conclusions and missing the point. People who don't have a car CAN'T DRIVE TO A FREE CLINIC - THAT IS MY POINT

I also didn't have money to pay my tuition, I also got no child support from their fathers (not that I didn't try before someone someone else attacks my situation), I wanted an EDUCATION BADLY and I still do. I can't ever say that school is hard for me because it's not. That is my blessing. Since you opened up, I will too. I suffer BECAUSE of my desire to help others. I worked a lot of hours to send my ex through school and he cheated on me right after. He pays hardly no child support since I got him his own business. He transferred the car with all HIS parking tickets into my name somehow. That is why I have no car. Yet, it is a condition of my enrollment into the nursing program that I have one since some of the clinicals are not accessible by public transportation. So I have worked until 3 am, gotten to the bus stop by 6am just to get to a full time load of sciences starting at 8am and I'm tired. This, and all that has happened to me still has not convinced me that I can't do more AND get a car. I haven't let anything stop me yet and I won't let it stop me ever.

In short, this is not a competition for who had the worse life; we have digressed and we are not doing the OP any justice by doing so.

justme1972 · May 5, 2007

I do....this is a calling for me. A drive I have had like nothing I have ever done before in my life.

DermNP2Be · May 5, 2007

Glad to hear it Hopefull2009 :) Congrats on all that you have accomplished thus far.

treeguy · May 6, 2007

Hi Y'all.

I hope that the point of this thread can surface through all this arguing. Destiny, thanks for the kind support and comments. Carolina, sorry if I came off as judgemental and I take back making you out to be cold. That was a mistake. I meant that the eairly poster who said wantin to help people is "cliche". I think that is a cold statement... that wanting to help others is cliche... that is a good reason why the world is so messed up nowadays.

There can never be any arguement that there are stuggles in America but that they are not as bad as the problems other people face. If you feel drawn to helping people in the states then that is great but if you feel drawn to helping people in Africa that is great as well. God is NO RESPECTER OF PERSONS and every poor person should be assisted by all children of God.

I want to be a nurse so that I can help people. I am looking forward to giving out my services for free to all who need it but that is just because that is what God has called me too.