When you question your actions.

[Midwest Mark]

Do no harm. This is the core of a nurse's belief. But what happens when this belief is shaken, when one is convinced that they may have indeed done harm, even in reality they did not? Throughout the years, I've heard stories told by nurses old and young. Stories that were just that, stories. You sit and you listen, but in the end you feel a disconnection from the situation. After all, it didn't happen to you, so how can you fully understand what these nurses were feeling? I felt this same disconnection, until it was my turn to experience this feeling.

During my last clinical, I was visiting with a client that is total care and who has no ability to communicate. I've never seen any family visit and other than staff giving care, I never noticed anyone actually talk with him. He seemed like he would be a bit lonely. So after passing meds, I had some down time. I decided to spend a bit of time with him and talk, even though I didn't expect a response.

I went in his room and closed the door halfway behind me, as I found it upon entering. I sat down beside him and began to talk. I asked a few of the basic assessment questions and then sat down and began talking about the current news. He turned his head toward me and started to watch me. Was he glad I was there talking or did he wish me to leave? I couldn't tell. I decided to continue talking and put my hand on his wrist. Half counting pulse beats and half offering some comfort and human interaction.

About 10 minutes into being in the room and talking about multiple topics, the door swung open. A woman hastily stepped into the room and demanded to know just what it was I was doing! Not knowing this person, I told her that I was just sitting here talking with the client. She immediately walked towards me and wedged herself between myself and the man in bed. I took a step back and watched a bit in shock. She leaned over him and asked, "Are you ok dad"? It was then that I realized that thas is the daughter.

I started edging away from the two and said the only thing that came to mind, "how has he been doing lately?",thinking that she would know better than anyone else. No words were spoken, however she turned her head and gave me one of the most hostile looks I've seen. I could tell that she wanted to yell at me, to tell me what was on her mind. Instead, she just ignored the question and turned back to her dad. I told her that I would give them some privacy and proceeded to leave the room.

Did she think I hurt him? Did I hurt him? I realize that she is probably just scared that he is there under those circumstances and it just came out as anger. But you know how the mind works at times like this, that nagging little feeling that says, "maybe I did do something wrong, maybe I did do harm"....even though in reality I did not.

I realize that this is just the first of perhaps many moments like this that may occur over the next several years. What have you done to cope with and move on from a situation when you question an action you've taken or feel bad about something that you shouldn't?

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

I'm not really sure how to answer your question. Per your own account, you did nothing wrong and the patient's daughter is the one with the problem. Time to toughen up a bit and let it go!

[Midwest Mark]

This happened a while ago and I've already gotten over it.

When I was reflecting on it though, it brought up an interesting question about how people deal with situations that pertain to questioning there role in "do no harm". Trivial as this story is in comparison to many others, I included the story just for a bit of context.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

There will be times that you wonder did I miss something? Should have I done something else? You will learn in nursing to forgive yourself and that you will never be able to "help" everyone.

You did nothing wrong here in this story...who knows why the daughter was so upset. Every person has their own burdens and baggage you can only do your best each and every time.

[Blue Roses]

I agree with SoldierNurse22. The daughter must have been having a wicked bad day and you didn't do anything wrong.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

don't shut the door next time and refrain from touching patient while sitting in what can be construed as an intimate situation. She sounds like she was looking for a reason to complain.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Attempting to provide some human interaction can never be wrong.

There is no way of knowing why his daughter got upset about it.Who can know their relationship?

Agree with classicdame, shutting the door was your "mistake" Can you imagine if it were a female patient?

We all have individual ways of coping . In my case, i realize that this is one tough profession and I did the best I could at the time.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

I think people are so used to seeing nurses flitting about like overgrown hummingbirds in ceil blue scrubs that the moment that we sit beside a patient and have some face to face human interaction it throws them so severely that they assume that something if terribly off. People tend jump to the worse conclusion

[The_Optimist]

don't shut the door next time and refrain from touching patient while sitting in what can be construed as an intimate situation. She sounds like she was looking for a reason to complain.

I am always amazed when people make a complete judgment based on a post/thread. My curiosity is truly piqued. Is this a form of "having each others' backs" or one truly does feel that way?

[Nurse Leigh]

...I went in his room and closed the door halfway behind me, as I found it upon entering. I sat down beside him and began to talk. I asked a few of the basic assessment questions and then sat down and began talking about the current news. He turned his head toward me and started to watch me. Was he glad I was there talking or did he wish me to leave? I couldn’t tell. I decided to continue talking and put my hand on his wrist. Half counting pulse beats and half offering some comfort and human interaction....

Am I understanding this part wrong? To me it reads as though the door WAS left partway open. Regardless, I think the daughter's reaction says more about her disposition, attitude, and possibly her relationship with her father than it does about the OP.

Truly, I do not see how a nurse trying to relate to a patient as a human can be considered faulty. OP, please know that people with loved ones in hospitals/facilities etc. would be very pleased to have you treating the client in such a way. Thank you.

[Midwest Mark]

Am I understanding this part wrong? To me it reads as though the door WAS left partway open.

Yes, you read that right. I found the door half way open when I got there and closed it back only half way like I found it after I entered. Also, at that particular LTC building, its standard practice to close the door while doing any form of patient care, rather it be for a full assessment or as something as small as an accu-chek.