I am a new nurse. I am currently working on a Medical-Surgical floor for now. I don't want to be there. I have to stick with a certain hospital system because I have a 2 year committment. AHHHHHHH why did I ever did such a thing I don't know but it was the biggest mistake of my life so live and learn for those reading explore the commitment CAREFULLY and check the hospital system out VERY carefully before signing.
I graduated back in May and worked as a GN for 6 weeks before I took boards in Late July and did not pass. Well, I took them again in October and passed them and got 4 weeks of orientation after passing the second time since I had done the 6 weeks before. Last week was my first week on my own and that was a total nightmare. I am stressed out and already starting to feel burned out. There are other issues in my life that I will be getting counseling for in one more week.
Right now I am so anxious and frustrated because I want to do nursing but I want to be in the area where I want to be but like I said right now that is not an option.
Has anyone been through this trial where they had to wait and wait and wait before getting into an area of your choice. Can you please share with me how did you handle it and what did you do. IT seems like all I do is obsessess and worry constantly over this very issue and I don't want it to take a hold of my life which it is currently doing at this very point in my life.
I don't want a bad attitude about working in med-surg because I want to be a good nurse but honestly my attitude stinks about working in med-surg. My attitude does NOT show at work though. I keep my attitude to myself. Each time I go to work I start feeling nauseated and feel sick to my stomach. I don't think it would be so bad if it weren't for having so many patients. With a Tech I can have up to 8-9 patients and that can either be good or bad depending on how good the tech is. IF I have a tech that I can't trust because there is one particular tech on the floor that they won't get rid off but everyone knows she can't be trusted and she half way does her job because she is so lazy.
Also there is so much to learn on med-surg I don't know exactly where to focus on learning. It is so general unlike a speciality there are things you can focus on that really pertains more to that area.
I am trying to also learn how to become a better critical thinker. I do think that may be a pro for working on med-surg it may give a better chance to develop the critical thinking skills before entering a speciality or doing something outside the hospital setting which I am leaning more and more toward because of better compatiability with my life as a single mom. I received really good grades in nursing school but to be perfectly honest my critical thinking skills are not where I think they should be. I miss out on things that other nurses catch and then I start to feel really really bad about it and wonder why in the world did I go into nursing if I did not catch that. I can catch the obvious but it is the not so obvious that I need to develop on.
Then there are the small things like sometimes I accidently forget to sign off on doctor orders that I am have forgotten to sign off on that I have read or the day shift nurse may have forgotten to sign off on and I should have caught on to that. So I am getting written up for things like that.
I have not made a very good first impression and I am so worried and stressed about that. The only thing is no one has addressed me about it expect one of my classmates who work on the same floor expect days said there have been a lot of talk about you. That leaves me even more anxious and frustrated then before.
I am beginning to wonder and seriously doubt about being a nurse in the first place and maybe I should have gone with teaching, social work, business, computers or anything else but nursing.
Gee, real world nursing is a definte reality shock compared to the world of nursing school. I feel totally unprepared.
I can't even successfully start an IV. I have successfully inserted them several times but they all blew on me. Like gee can I do anything right.
Right now I am so stressed that I am starting to take it out on my daughter. I honestly don't mean to but I worry too much at home and then I start taking my anger out on her by yelling her and grabbing and hitting her. My daughter is a VERY challenging child and as a 23 year old single mom It is hard but I know it is NO excuse to hit and grab her and I am so scared about that too. I do have my parents trying to helping me out but they don't reallyunderstand what I am going through. I HATE working 12 hours and I HATE working nights but day shift 12 hours is not an option for me and they don't do 8 hour shifts at the hospital I work at.
Sorry for the long vent. If you made it this far and listened THANK YOU.
I am in staff development and hear your complaint at least once after every orientation period. Nursing is hard. Really hard. You will feel incompetent some of the time and scared the rest of the time, until you reach a comfort zone. If you have time to read Marlene Kramer's book on Reality Shock, I recommend it. The statistics go like this: 60% of new nurses who quit within 2 years do so the first 6 months. They feel "grass is greener elsewhere". But it isn't, usually. So give yourself a minimum of 6 months on the job before you make a decision. Also, no matter where you are working, you are bound to be learning. No learning is ever wasted. Med-surg is a great place to learn a vast amount of skills, apply your scientific knowledge and master organization and prioritization. Believe me, that is needed in every unit. However, I have to add that I have transferred a few people to create a better "fit" and keep them in our system. Our overall retention rate is 82%, so it is apparent some people quit. Nursing can be overwhelming. There is a "letdown" from getting out of school and a sense of "trauma" from learning a new job. A lot to handle. If you cannot handle it now, do what you have to do. Think of nursing as a CAREER, not a job. You can return to it later, if need be. Good luck.
Your story sounds like my own story starting out on med-surg 10 years ago. I was also told by a "friend" that co-workers were talking about me. I was devastated, and was already struggling as you have been.
All of the previous posts contain such wonderful encouragement, advice, and TRUTH. I can only add that the counseling and possibly getting on some medication to help you through this rough patch, even if it's just "for a season", could make all the difference in the world for your coping at work and at home.
I'm still a med-surg nurse-- in spite of being an extremely late bloomer-- and don't want another specialty, but I continue to experience what you have described fairly often, although I'm not new at this. I continue to struggle to rest in and trust in God to get me through especially taxing shifts-- like MOST of them! :) He always comes through for me, but I don't always see it (usually, until sometime later) when I'm panicking and overwhelmed. I agree with what others have said: You must put yourself and your daughter first; I'm sure you already know that you can't care for her properly if you aren't caring for yourself properly.
I hope you can see how much we care, and I especially empathize with you, although I have no children. This profession has nearly done me in many times, but I keep the vision going that I'm needed to do a job many don't want to do, I care very much about my patients, I don't want to do anything else, and by God's grace and power, He's helped me to be a good nurse-- and will help me continue to be good nurse.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers; please let us know how you're doing.
Hugs to you, peaceful! I too just finished orientation and also have issues with depression and anxiety. I actually had to take two weeks off to get myself centered because I knew things were getting dangerous for me and my patients. I was terminated, but thankfully, the hospital rehired me without any problems (RED TAPE!!). Try to find just one person you can confide in about your mental state and how you are feeling. I personally went to my manager and don't regret it a bit. My manager was fully supportive. Of course, it depends on your manager, but I think that they'd rather retain you and help you along than have to find a brand new person.
By the way, I TOTALLY feel you about that critical thinking thing! I can't wait for the day when I'm one of those experienced, confident nurses. I bet you know more than you give yourself credit for (one of my favorite nursing momonts so far was when the nursing students stood watching ME in awe...what a great feeling!). Instead of comparing yourself to seasoned nurses, it may help to take an honest look at yourself. Ask yourself, "Did I do all I can to make my patients comfortable?" "Is there anything else I can do to make the next shift have a smoother day?" If you've done YOUR best, then leave with a clear conscience.
One thing that I like to do is make sure the next nurse has all the supplies she needs. I get paperwork started for discharges etc. In other words, I try to do all I can, because I know I'm bound to forget something!! This way, if a nurse tries to hassle me I can prove that I'm not lazy...I'm just a novice
Good luck, my friend. PM me if you want to share the pain of being a new nurse. :kiss
Make it 30 years ago and my story is the same. I locked myself in my car many times so I wouldn't take anger out on my 2 kids...3 & 5. FInally getting therapy was the best thing I could do for myself. Please begin by telling yourself that it WILL get better. Love and hug your child and remember the problem is NOT just you. MS is a grindstone and a millstone around many a nurse's neck. Take one day at a time. I'll be praying for you .
i too am a single mom-25yrs old. i understand. i worked in the nursing home right after i passed my boards- it was the skilled unit. the first time that one of my patients went into a diabetic seizure i ran out of the room to grab the glucose monitor and also yelled " i need a nurse in here", the nurse i was giving report to earlier said" you are the nurse!!" i felt so insure of what i was doing. it passed, but i was able to leave and go to some place slower to gain the cofidence i needed.
Have you gone to your supervisor and asked if there is another unit you can work on- if you have a contract i'm sure that they can still help you. also try going to human resource they are sure to help you as well.
Just keep in mind that YOU CAN DO IT :) You are in my thoughts and i hope that all goes well. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk further:kiss
Girl, I understand EXACTLY where you are coming from. The only difference is that I do enjoy my job and I have heard I am doing OK for a new grad. My first week off of orientation was just hell. They made me a part of the code team my first night off (and my orientation sucked), had a patient get sent to ICU on the second day (and I really should have caught that one, but was clueless at the time that she was going downhill) and floated to OB the rest of the week. I have been off of orientation for about three months and I did start to develop some routine in my job, but this past week was hell with this flu bug. I had a young girl that I was nearly ready to code. Then I got chewed out by another patient's family for not changing a bed (even though the aide had been paged and did not respond...I had no clue this was going on). It didn't matter that I was fighting doctors for THIS patient to meet her needs...nope! Didn't fix the damn bed.
Then on Friday night, I get assigned to a woman who is on death's door. The RT and I were working to keep this lady alive when it was apparent she would not live another 24 hours. She was one on one, and should have been in ICU. I had five patients and had to give up two, so I could take care of this one.
On Saturday, I come in and my patient from the night before has been converted to comfort care and she passes....very hard since this is my first death and I felt that all that work was for nothing. I have another pateint that we thought was going to code on us that night, and then was OK. And then in the morning, I walk into ANOTHER patient's room and discover she has gone downhill very fast. I caught the doctor and sent him in there and spent the next hour trying to stabilize her with RT and another nurse. This last case is the one that really bugged me because I felt that I should have caught it earlier. If this woman (no code patient) dies, I don't want it to be because I neglected something.
I have been pretty anxious too and have been having nightmares. I truly enjoy being a nurse, but I feel so new and that my newness is going to kill some people. So, I can totally empathize with your frustration. Me, I eventually want to land in NICU or L&D. I am trying to stay positive that what I am learning now will be invaluable to my education as a nurse.
I think that you have gotten some really good advice here. Here is mine. I hope it helps you.
Ask for a few days off to take stock of your situation & your life. Do you have anyone that can help with your child? Ask relatives or friends to help you. Don't be afraid to ask. Are you sleeping at all? Nights can drain you if you aren't sleeping & eating right. Have you tried exercise to blow off some stress? Walking with a friend can do miracles as well as prayer & quiet time with God.
We all have been where you are at work. Med-Surg is a difficult area to master if that is even possible. Look into other departments such as OB or OR to transfer to. To be a new nurse like you can be so overwhelming. Is there another nurse on your shift that can help you? Have you went to your manager with your concerns? Try to priortize your patients & their needs. This will help develop critical thinking skills. We never stop learning even us old dogs in the field learn all the time. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Learn to be patient with yourself & reward yourself for small steps you make. If all else fails & you feel that you have done all you can do then break the contract & pay it back. Try to give it 6 months.
I hope this helps you. I know what you are feeling. It is a scary place to be. Good Luck!
that co-workers were talking about me. I was devastated, and was already struggling as you have been.
purplemania, BSN, RN
2,617 Posts
I am in staff development and hear your complaint at least once after every orientation period. Nursing is hard. Really hard. You will feel incompetent some of the time and scared the rest of the time, until you reach a comfort zone. If you have time to read Marlene Kramer's book on Reality Shock, I recommend it. The statistics go like this: 60% of new nurses who quit within 2 years do so the first 6 months. They feel "grass is greener elsewhere". But it isn't, usually. So give yourself a minimum of 6 months on the job before you make a decision. Also, no matter where you are working, you are bound to be learning. No learning is ever wasted. Med-surg is a great place to learn a vast amount of skills, apply your scientific knowledge and master organization and prioritization. Believe me, that is needed in every unit. However, I have to add that I have transferred a few people to create a better "fit" and keep them in our system. Our overall retention rate is 82%, so it is apparent some people quit. Nursing can be overwhelming. There is a "letdown" from getting out of school and a sense of "trauma" from learning a new job. A lot to handle. If you cannot handle it now, do what you have to do. Think of nursing as a CAREER, not a job. You can return to it later, if need be. Good luck.