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What's The Meanest Thing A Dr. or Co-worker Ever Said To You?

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Moogie specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

1 Article; 22,248 Visitors; 1,796 Posts

Worked as a staff nurse at a LTC for a while and felt frustrated because the RNACs were working their tails off and it was pretty obvious that they needed some extra help. I asked the DON on more than one occasion if I could PLEASE at least orient to some of the RNAC duties to help fill in when they were on vacation or out sick. The DON always refused because she had "promised the hours" to a GN who had been working there as an LPN. The "GN" indeed finished an RN program but did not pass boards---legally she was no longer a GN, right? Not in the eyes of our DON. Even after this nurse failed her RN boards, the DON continued to utilize her in a GN/RN capacity, even having her sign "GN" when she no longer WAS a GN. So, when this LPN was on duty, working in an RN capacity, the DON told me that I HAD to be there because legally the facility was required to have an RN on at least eight hours every twenty-four. One weekend she told me to make sure I "didn't call in" because I was legally the RN on duty those days. I had never called in at all when she said this!

Eventually, the LPN tried her RN boards again and failed. I asked the DON again if she would please orient me to the RNAC responsibilities. She refused and said, "I hired you to be a staff nurse and that's all you're going to be is a staff nurse." :angryfire Actually, when she hired me, she promised that I would be teaching CNA classes but somehow the facility never had the time or the budget to start the classes. :banghead:

I quit a few weeks later.

BTW, I was older and had more education and experience than the DON. And yes, she was aware of that when she hired me. :angryfire

Edited by Moogie

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2,330 Visitors; 41 Posts

here's my bonehead opinion.

lots of stories here...i'm certain some have been "embellished", but having a lot of experience, most are probably true. i really try to treat everyone with dignity, courtesy and respect, regardless of their position.

don't forget that everyone has a bad day from time to time. here's a modification to an old saw.

"f**k me once; shame on you.

f**k me twice; shame on me."

i thought of transposing the u and c, but after consideration that would just annoy the mods, who have been more than accomodating with me.

i'm not talking down to you. please listen carefully and consider what i have to say.

eliminate:

i'm sorry.

from your vocabulary.

i'm sorry if i run your dog over with my car.

if i have to call at an inopportune time...

"i apologize."

stop frigging bending over every time you do your incredibly important duties.

if you are abused, and it is abuse do not think 2x about taking your complaint to your facility's human resources department.

take careful notes...time / date / witnesses / circumstances.

make it official.

that is the only way it will ever stop.

a few years ago, i had a dust up with a vp at the company where i worked. the guy really went after me, saying things that would've gotten anyone else a punch to the face. this prick pole vaulted way over the top.

i sent an e-mail to hr and they asked me to stop by.

i explained the situation.

"well we'll speak with him."

"you really need to take paper on this one."

"uhhh."

"uhhh."

"uhhh."

they took the paper, and were not happy about it.

a few days later my telephone rings and it's the ceo.

the ceo.

 

"can you come over and chat with me?"

"i'm on my way."

i get to his office and we shake hands.

"the things you said here...were they true?"

"yessir. it makes the shop a really difficult place to work."

he patted my back, and shook my hand which told me our little "meeting" was over.

"i never knew", he said.

together we walk toward his office door.

i did some research earlier, and found out he speaks "passable" japanese.

ahahahaha...me too!

i express my apprecation in crappy japanese, but he does understand.

as we approach the door he tells me:

"i want you to know that i told him that if the crap happens again he's f**kng gone."

a year later he was history.

some times you have to abandon:

being a nurse

 

 

put your big-girl panties on.

spread the pain around.

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Pepper The Cat has 33 years experience and specializes in Gerontology.

1 Follower; 24,390 Visitors; 1,696 Posts

Put your big-girl panties on.

Spread the pain around.

So you are saying that if someone says a mean thing to me, I should be mean back? Sorry - not going to happen. I am more mature than that.

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LesMonsterRN has 25 years experience as a ADN, RN and specializes in LTC.

6,004 Visitors; 300 Posts

there was the coworker who (although even she didn't know it at the time) had grave's disease. she had a total meltdown one nightshift when we were working together, and stood in the exact center of where the two hallways that made up our unit intersected screaming "i hate you, you fat, ugly *****!" and other endearments along that vein. every patient in the unit who was able to walk and talk poked their head out of their doorway to see what was causing the ruckas. i was mortified. and then *i* was called into the nurse manager's office for unprofessional behavior. all i had done was stand there and cry!

 

and then there was the physician that actually said "you know, you look really fat. but you aren't, really are you? it's just that your tits are too big. i know someone who could fix that for you." by then, i was older, wiser and probably meaner. "i cannot imagine why you'd think i'd be interested in your opinion on that," i replied. "unless it's because your over-large ego is compensating for your extremely small dick." my nurse manager gulped, the assistant nurse manager gasped and the physician mumbled something about "just trying to help" as he scurried away. i got called into the office, but both the nurse manager and the assistant nurse manager were laughing too hard to "counsel" me. and that was the last time anyone thought they could get away with saying anything like that to me.

 

but tact still isn't my strongest suit.

ruby, i think i love you. :yeah:

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6,411 Visitors; 414 Posts

So you are saying that if someone says a mean thing to me, I should be mean back? Sorry - not going to happen. I am more mature than that.

I think what she/he meant was that sometime you have to stand up to the bully so they wont think you will put up with their bullshiet,but it is really hard if you have a nice,friendly attitude,it is just not in your character,but those abuser do really need to be put verbally in their place!@!

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LesMonsterRN has 25 years experience as a ADN, RN and specializes in LTC.

6,004 Visitors; 300 Posts

Here's my bonehead opinion.

Lots of stories here...I'm certain some have been "embellished", but having a lot of experience, most are probably true. I really try to treat everyone with dignity, courtesy and respect, regardless of their position.

Your post feels really condescending to me. It's just a venting thread.

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2,330 Visitors; 41 Posts

Nah...

I wasn't trying to be condescending.

All my life I've worked hard. Really hard. 99% of the time I did the absolute best I could do given the circumstances. When I put my head on my pillow, I fall to sleep, straightaway.

However, the same attributes that make someone an excellent caregiver also becomes their Achilles Heel. When one mixes that situation up with a system that "enables" abuse...

Well, guess what happens, and why are you surprised at the outcome?

Step away from being a Nurse for a moment. Come over to the Dark Side, my world.

One day I have a serious problem with someone who is in a significant position of authority. NOT a disagreement, but a really serious issue.

I talk to my immediate supervisor. Because he or she is too busy / wants to avoid conflict / frightened of "rocking the boat"...

Talks you through the process; then everything STOPS. NO resolution.

The asshat continues their anti-social behavior.

Your supervisor believes they did a good job.

Human Resources is happy that a potentially difficult situation has now been eliminated from their plate.

Look at the above 3 sentences. Everyone is satisfied, except ME.

I'm frustrated.

And tomorrow, or next week someone else will "take one for the team".

If anyone is satisfied with being on the short end of that stick...well there's not much I can do.

Nurses have SO MANY truly unique qualities. They want to help. They want to collaborate. They want to heal. They want stability (don't rock the boat).

But as many of you know; devious, manipulative people show their true colors eventually. People like that just LOVE seeing the qualities Nurses bring. For every person that will stand up for what's right, there are half a dozen that will fold like a cheap lawn chair.

How many threads do we see on the board that discuss Lateral Violence?

How many threads about SERIOUS staffing issues?

Everyday you do your job, right?

Everyday I do my job.

If a dispute gets so serious that it winds up in Human Resources...well, that's their job.

And if the issue is SO serious that it needs to be official, and someone takes the paper, so be it.

And DO NOT FORGET.

If it's not official...IT NEVER HAPPENED.

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StNeotser has 10 years experience as a ASN, RN.

25,045 Visitors; 963 Posts

I got a nasty eval last year because I am "unkind" to patients.

I was "unkind" to an entitled family once, and only once because I would not fetch drinks for some overentitled fifty something ape and his ape like teenage sons.

Over anything else that is said directly to ones face, this one hurt the most. This was the one complaint I've ever had and in denying this nasty family their cokes, I was taking care of a life somewhere else. This is the nastiest thing that will happen to you in nursing, is that some over entitled piece of excrement will yield this sort of power play over you, you'll save a life in the place of placating them, and this is the reward.

The nasty names and such don't really matter.

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Pepper The Cat has 33 years experience and specializes in Gerontology.

1 Follower; 24,390 Visitors; 1,696 Posts

I've learned that people who feel they need to belittle someone else's accomplishments or lifestyles are doing so because they are insecure or unhappy with their own choices.

One nurse was going on and on once about how much harder she works because she has children and I don't. I finally looked at her and said "I'm so sorry that you are unhappy with the choices you have made.". This stopped the comments, but did not put her down in anyway.

The nurse who made an unking remark about me getting my degree? I realized later it was because she knew that she would not be able to do what I just did. So she had to put me down to justify that fact that she wasn't trying to get a degree.

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prison_nurse has 6 years experience and specializes in corrections, psychiatric.

3,484 Visitors; 62 Posts

So you are saying that if someone says a mean thing to me, I should be mean back? Sorry - not going to happen. I am more mature than that.

I don't think she means that. I think she's just saying that people need to stand up for themselves and take it to HR, or whoever can help, if the situation warrants it.

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WoofyMutt80 specializes in Geriatrics, Cath Lab, Cardiology,Neuro.

3,835 Visitors; 158 Posts

What really ticked me off was what the Ortho Surgeon said to my mother after her total knee replacement. Here is the Cliffs Notes of the story: She had the TKR and had major swelling, a clicking noise when she walked, and pain from hell 3 MONTHS AFTER. The Ortho Surgeon said after the THIRD time my mother went to him complaining of the above issues, "Well maybe its your weight" OH HELL NO!!!!!!! My mother is NOT huge and I know of a woman who has to be 350 lbs who was well back on her feet 2 WEEKS post knee replacement and back to work. My mother went for a second opinion and it turned out she had a loose tibia and a crooked kneecap and had to have the whole thing done over. Good news is she is back on her feet, no swelling, no pain. Bad news she can't sue because "she wasnt permanently disabled". But if you spill hot coffee on yourself at Dunkin Donuts you are a millionaire.

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4,681 Visitors; 212 Posts

I so agree with you Woofy. I can relate to your mother's situation. I'm looking at a knee replacement in the future. The dr who did my knee surgeries totally mauled my knee. The scar looks like he went "Whoops!" Really gnarly looking scar. Anyway I was supposed to go in to have some gravel removed and he told me before hand that I needed to lose weight because my scar wouldn't have been so bad if I weren't so heavy!! I weighed 180 at the time. I know that's chunky but it didn't make my scar crooked!:eek:

Well, long story short. His office burns down amid some legal problems he was having and he shortly died after from a heart attack! Go figure! :rolleyes: Now I'm looking for a new ortho...d'oh.

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