I had a wonderful daughter of an elderly patient assist with doing a minicath. I missed the first try, making some comment about getting the correct hole, and the confusion at times. The 60 something daughter said "2 holes?". I said something like, you know the pee and the baby hole?
The lady was shocked she had no idea there were two holes down there. I good naturedly covered up my utter surprise at her ignorance regarding this matter.
I was brought up in a home where sex was taboo, no medical/biological terms were used and I didn't know what my period was when I first got it. I panicked when I saw blood and my mother just told me that I'm "a woman now." I went to public school but I honestly don't remember any sort of sex ed.
Many American women are brought up this way. Plus, female sexuality is so shamed in this country, that we're socialized not to ask questions. I have a history of sexual trauma, so I just shut everything out until nursing school. But even without the trauma, I probably would shut it out. American society just does not accept open discussion of the female reproductive system.
This reminds me of an episode of "Orange is the New Black." An inmate explains that there "is more than 1 hole" to the other inmates (female prison). I was watching it with a friend who is in her late 20s and she thought it was a joke. We had a long discussion after that episode.
My kids asked a ton of questions about everything under the sun. I always asked, "Do you want the long answer or the short answer?" and they ALWAYS wanted the long one. My five year old was rooting around in my bag one day and found a tampon. "What's this?" she said. "Long answer or short?" "Long." So she got it. Hmmm, she said. I had a terrific book called "The What's Happening to My Body Book for Girls," aimed at 9-15 year olds, and she was the hit of the fourth grade sleepovers with it.
When she was ten and a half I found used tampons in her wastebasket (and a good thing, too, because our septic system doesn't like non-dissolvables). How long? Oh, three times. Any questions? Nope. OK, then.
They also make a companion book ".... For Boys," and my son got that when he turned nine. When he was sixteen or seventeen he said, out of the clear blue sky, "Mom, do you find that you have migraines more often during your menstrual period?" "Yes, why do you ask?" "Sarah (the girlfriend) does too."
Gotta love it, though. I never worried about unintentional pregnancy with those two.
My sweet husband, married to somebody else for 27 years, was astonished to hear that it wasn't painful for me to have sex during my period. We were apart so much the first five years we were married, I wasn't going to give up a single chance for anything. I learned not to tell him and to keep a tampon tucked under my pillow for quick deployment. But I had to explain to him several times that X and Y chromosome thing.
And I had our hospital chaplain whose wife (of 30+ years) was having a hyst asked me where would the sperm go after sex if there was no uterus? I said, "Pretty much the same place it always has, the wet spot on the sheets. The cervix is closed all the time anyway; you'll never notice the difference." He didn't really believe me.
As a midwife, I can tell you---a frighteningly high percentage.
I find that reality to be sad and disturbing. Perhaps the lack of knowledge is a reflection of neglect or conservative upbringing (parents never taught them), or culture (their background instills fear and forbids them from being knowledgeable about their own bodies), or lack of a sex-ed curriculum? IDK.
Can we talk about how many people in the health field dont know how to properly take care of their lady partss? If I see one more nurse on instagram talking about lady partsl steaming, or "yoni pearls" im going to scream. Why do NURSES not understand the risk factors for BV??
I used to work in a rural ER. Had a lady come in, c/o saw her doctor this week and was told she had an ulcer, and now she was bleeding "down there". I helped her into a gown and did a quick peek "down there". We were both quite surprised at the tiny foot emerging from her lady parts.
After 20 years practicing as a Family nurse practitioner and doing many physicals, I would vouch for general ignorance of female genitalia by women. Many women feel that area is "gross". I get comments as I sit down to do a pap, "How can you stand to do that?" Women don't want to touch themselves down there to use a lady partsl cream, barrier methods of contraception, a Nuva ring, or Estring. Use a mirror to look at themselves? Are you kidding? Women are shocked and upset to know they have a yeast infection or BV. They have no clue about the risk of STD's even though they claim to have had sex Ed. There are many women who are very sophisticated and many who are not.
I teach human anatomy, many women don't know there are two holes. I have so many crazy stories. I have had so many students ask me where the privy parts is on the models. Like they seriously have no idea. I had a male student label the prostate as the liver once. I had a pregnant student ask me if the spinal cord model was the model of the member....no joke.
I went to a public school in the '60s and '70s. We had anatomy and physiology in both the 7th and 10th grades.
We started with anatomy and physiology of earth worms and insects. Then moved on to fish, amphibians, reptiles, and mammals.
When we got to mammals, we studied human anatomy and physiology. We studied the circulatory, respiratory, reproductive, etc. systems.
10th grade was a repeat except in 10th grade we went into much greater depth and we actually got to disect a worm, fish, frog, and sheep's eye. The school board would only buy one fetal pig, so the teacher disected that. We still had to be able to identify the fetal pig's organs on the exam.
When we studied human anatomy in 10th grade they covered methods of contraception - how they worked, their failure rate, etc. They also covered STIs. We had to learn the function of estrogen, progesterone, FSH, LH, etc. It was not Sex Ed. It was just part of the science curriculum.
I wonder if people never had these classes or if the material just didn't "stick" for some people.
These comments might explain an experience my mother and I had a couple of years ago.
My mother taught school for 35 years. She always insisted that her children and her students use the correct word for everything including body parts. No slang or euphemisms were allowed.
When mom was in her 80s, she complained of pain when she urinated. She couldn't get an appointment with her regular physician, so she saw the NP. The NP had never met mom, so didn't know how precise mom was in language. The NP asked mom if she itched "down there." Mom had no idea what she was talking about - "down there." Mom gave me the "what is wrong with her?" look. Mom had been on an antibiotic, so I knew the NP suspected a yeast infection. I said "Mom, does your lady parts itch." She said, "Oh! Yes it does." Mom was horrified that a medical professional would say "down there."
I used to work in a rural ER. Had a lady come in, c/o saw her doctor this week and was told she had an ulcer, and now she was bleeding "down there". I helped her into a gown and did a quick peek "down there". We were both quite surprised at the tiny foot emerging from her lady parts.
brido
27 Posts
I was brought up in a home where sex was taboo, no medical/biological terms were used and I didn't know what my period was when I first got it. I panicked when I saw blood and my mother just told me that I'm "a woman now." I went to public school but I honestly don't remember any sort of sex ed.
Many American women are brought up this way. Plus, female sexuality is so shamed in this country, that we're socialized not to ask questions. I have a history of sexual trauma, so I just shut everything out until nursing school. But even without the trauma, I probably would shut it out. American society just does not accept open discussion of the female reproductive system.
This reminds me of an episode of "Orange is the New Black." An inmate explains that there "is more than 1 hole" to the other inmates (female prison). I was watching it with a friend who is in her late 20s and she thought it was a joke. We had a long discussion after that episode.