I had a wonderful daughter of an elderly patient assist with doing a minicath. I missed the first try, making some comment about getting the correct hole, and the confusion at times. The 60 something daughter said "2 holes?". I said something like, you know the pee and the baby hole?
The lady was shocked she had no idea there were two holes down there. I good naturedly covered up my utter surprise at her ignorance regarding this matter.
I use to think my pee hole was my baby hole. But I was a child and my grandmother and mother kindly set me straight when I got my first period at 10 years old. I had my first gynecology appointment around then as well, because my first periods were pretty heavy and we just wanted to make sure everything was okay. The doctor explained everything as well. I can see how such a thing could happen. Especially with girls raised by single fathers. Men sometimes aren't the greatest sources for explaining the female anatomy which is why a lot of them rely on their wives, mothers, etc to explain it to their daughters and if they have no such source, then I can see how it gets glossed by. Then you have cultural reasons, society's discomfort with talking about genitalia, lack of education in general, etc. I wish there was a way to assist parents in these conversations without stepping on toes.
They don't even have to look, no mirror required, the boys in school learn the same as the girls in school from pictures in textbooks and posters in class. I do dearly hope they aren't learning first-hand in seventh grade what the female anatomy looks like in person! When I was in middle school I surely had never seen a human member or scrotum but I knew what the heck they were and that they existed in the first place! Just sounds crazy to me that grown women don't know this info.
It is crazy but I think this also speaks to the pervasive shame that surrounds female anatomy. It seems that a good majority of grown women don't have a good grasp on what is what and that is usually because the attitude is, "Well, your genitals are relatively hidden whereas for a male, things are straightforward and so much easier to deal with." It shouldn't even be all that shocking that there are things about female anatomy that remain ambiguous (this is true of human anatomy in general but there remains a lot of back and forth regarding the privy parts, g-spot, origins of orgasm, etc.), mostly due to the denigration and invalidation of female anatomy for its audacity to be sexual and not just reproductive. The heads are buried deeply in the sand on this one.
I haven't read the whole thread, so if someone already brought this up, sorry. But what about women whose labia are sewn together and there is only one opening for both urine and menstruation?
Does the urethral opening, which is under the sewn up labia, close? Is this why fistulae often develop between urethra and lady parts (I guess) in these women?
In cases of FGM, a fistula will develop because of the radical infections that occur as a result of the trauma.
I had a wonderful daughter of an elderly patient assist with doing a minicath. I missed the first try, making some comment about getting the correct hole, and the confusion at times. The 60 something daughter said "2 holes?". I said something like, you know the pee and the baby hole?
The lady was shocked she had no idea there were two holes down there. I good naturedly covered up my utter surprise at her ignorance regarding this matter.
How many women don't know about this?
I would have thought she had some dementia, either/or, she was being sarcastic.
I would not even dare to use names for body parts like the ones used above so you must have been working there a long time or be like very well to get away with it.
I would have thought she had some dementia, either/or, she was being sarcastic.
I would not even dare to use names for body parts like the ones used above so you must have been working there a long time or be like very well to get away with it.
How's that now?
The world would be a wonderful place if all people received the same education and took responsibility for their health and wellness. However, this is not the case and you have to know your audience -- using medical terminology across the board regardless of the education level of the person you're speaking to is to the detriment of that person's understanding.
The concern that you mention isn't supported by the available science. It is in my opinion solely motivated by cultural and/or religious beliefs. The thinking that STD's and contraception are controversial and as such; topics that parents should censor, will only lead to a continuing high numbers of teenage pregnancies and teenage STD's.
What science are you talking about? I didn't mention that either, Mac.
I said that Sex Ed should be about anatomy, meaning the structure of females and males. I will expand that to include, of course, the physiology, the way males and females function re: sex.
I believe we learned a fair amount of Biology in High School - we dissected a cat, a fetal pig, and a bird. So we knew about the internal organs located in other than the pelvis. And Sex Ed happened in the 4th or 5th grade, I believe.
In my day, families taught their values to their own kids re: sexual behavior. Citizenship, ethics, cultural mores were absorbed at home, in school, in one's religious institution, in our friends' and relatives' homes, and on TV in the '50's and '60's. (Leave It To Beaver, Donna Reed Show, Father Knows Best, Andy Griffith Show, I Love Lucy). Laugh if you like, I'm just responding with what is true for me.
I suppose it isn't bad or wrong, and maybe it is good or best to teach kids about STD's and contraception in school. However, what many people object to is the view that it's OK for people to have sex before marriage. And the view that people should not have sex before marriage is forthrightly taught to be old-fashioned, stupid, narrow, or something equally negative.
I recall my Mom telling me that she and the parents of my classmates in grade school were shown The Movie and given the talk that we students would get the following week. She said that some of the parents were pro providing contraception to their kids because they believed their kids would have sex anyway.
My Mom made it clear that she believed I would not, and that she wanted me to not because becoming a father so young would really mess up my life. She advised that it was best to finish my education and get established financially before making any babies. She told me she would help me if I did become a father, but that it was most definitely her prayer and her expectation that I would use good judgment and restraint in this area. Her spiritual view was that having intimate relations with a person left a part of my spirit/spirituality with that person and hers with me and that was not what the Bible taught us to do.
LGBTQ was not an outward issue in those days. The Pill was not in general usage or even heard of for another decade or more. So Sex Ed was much simpler back then. Abortions were not legal, so I never even heard of that until much later.
I will find the material re: schools arranging secret AB's for students.
Lots of women don't know. As an occupational nurse I answered all types of questions, made myself receptive to the folks who worked at the factory. A group of married ladies with children asked me one time, how did women go from 2 holes to 3 after they got married? Nothing surprises me anymore.
Did you mention the word abstinence? No. Did I claim you mentioned the word abstinence? No. Were you in your post indirectly alluding to abstinence/ refraining from having pre-marital sex? I believe so.
This is what you did say and what I responded to:
Also, with Sex Ed, there is concern that kids will be taught about lifestyles with which parents might disagree, contraception, STD's, and other controversial issues.
Sex Ed can include a whole lot more than just anatomy.
I know from previous posts in other threads that you don't approve of pre-marital sex so that knowledge was a part of my interpretation of your post.
But even without that previous knowledge, I think that I interpreted the meaning of your post correctly and your new post in response to mine, seems to support that conclusion:
In my day, families taught their values to their own kids re: sexual behavior.
However, what many people object to is the view that it's OK for people to have sex before marriage.
And this regarding what your mother told you about sex:
She said that some of the parents were pro providing contraception to their kids because they believed their kids would have sex anyway.
My Mom made it clear that she believed I would not, and that she wanted me to not because becoming a father so young would really mess up my life. She advised that it was best to finish my education and get established financially before making any babies.
She told me she would help me if I did become a father, but that it was most definitely her prayer and her expectation that I would use good judgment and restraint in this area.
(my bold)
The reason I linked scientific research was to show that not including information about contraception and STDs in Sex Ed, is detrimental to the health of teenagers. Whatever your view happens to be on teenagers having sex, surely we should all be able to agree that the option that results in fewer teenage pregnancies and fewer teenage cases of STDs is preferable?
If you or others keep on believing that talking about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is controversial, the health of teenagers will suffer. I personally don't think the topics are the least bit controversial, but they are important factors to be aware of.
Sex Ed has to cover more than just anatomy and physiology, otherwise it's just a biology class and doesn't qualify as Sex Ed. Merely knowing the biology isn't sufficient information/guidance to help a teenager make smart decisions for his or her future, protect their health and enjoy a healthy sexuality.
I suppose it isn't bad or wrong, and maybe it is good or best to teach kids about STD's and contraception in school.
I obviously agree with this part of your post. This is what the research I included demonstrated.
I won't use the Quote button because it's an insanely long post to even sit there and delete to get to the one line needed, but the reference to the Ballard High School abortion case is what I'm talking to.
Yes, thank you for the link, it is true that one time in 2010 a ridiculous misuse or abuse of policy occurred that resulted in a teenager being able to obtain an abortion without her mother's consent, and with the assistance of the school administration. It was completely wrong, and it seems it's now a good legal teaching tool of what not to do.
However.
That was one case in 2010. Doesn't negate what happened but it sure doesn't mean that a parent should expect a teen to be able to repeat this in her own school. It isn't part of any Sexual Education class, which is what you took issue with. Sex Ed doesn't teach one how to go about getting a school pass and taxi fare to get an abortion. Sex Ed does teach methods to avoid becoming pregnant in the first place, thereby negating the need for the abortion at all.
The very best way to prevent abortions is to prevent the unwanted pregnancy in the first place. For that, education is required.
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I'm amazed at all the sex education in schools. When I was in middle school, nothing. In high school all we got was a few hours of talk about STDs & a big push on abstinence. I'm not that old, I'll be 29 in 2017. Yes I do live in Texas but the fact that nothing was covered in either middle or high school is very alarming. I don't know if the school is any better now but I doubt it. I wish we had a health class. I have two boys & I will definitely be talking to them about this subject.
I won't use the Quote button because it's an insanely long post to even sit there and delete to get to the one line needed, but the reference to the Ballard High School abortion case is what I'm talking to.
Yes, thank you for the link, it is true that one time in 2010 a ridiculous misuse or abuse of policy occurred that resulted in a teenager being able to obtain an abortion without her mother's consent, and with the assistance of the school administration. It was completely wrong, and it seems it's now a good legal teaching tool of what not to do.
However.
That was one case in 2010. Doesn't negate what happened but it sure doesn't mean that a parent should expect a teen to be able to repeat this in her own school. It isn't part of any Sexual Education class, which is what you took issue with. Sex Ed doesn't teach one how to go about getting a school pass and taxi fare to get an abortion. Sex Ed does teach methods to avoid becoming pregnant in the first place, thereby negating the need for the abortion at all.
The very best way to prevent abortions is to prevent the unwanted pregnancy in the first place. For that, education is required.
I doubt this was the only time a secret abortion took place. I will be looking for more instances.
We can agree or not on what Sex Ed should include.
Mac's comment that certain issues are not controversial is debatable. I think. LOL. Too distracted right now to figure it all out. I guess everything is debatable. Just depends on a person's view.
How about handing out condoms to students? To me, that just encourages sexual activity and tells a student that he or she is just a bundle of hormones that should be kept riled up at all times. This is definitely different than teaching that sex belongs only in marriage. Certainly folks can see where this might not be considered by some parents and members of the community as being proper Sex Ed or Health or Reality Show or whatever.
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How's that now?
cherryelle07
105 Posts
I use to think my pee hole was my baby hole. But I was a child and my grandmother and mother kindly set me straight when I got my first period at 10 years old. I had my first gynecology appointment around then as well, because my first periods were pretty heavy and we just wanted to make sure everything was okay. The doctor explained everything as well. I can see how such a thing could happen. Especially with girls raised by single fathers. Men sometimes aren't the greatest sources for explaining the female anatomy which is why a lot of them rely on their wives, mothers, etc to explain it to their daughters and if they have no such source, then I can see how it gets glossed by. Then you have cultural reasons, society's discomfort with talking about genitalia, lack of education in general, etc. I wish there was a way to assist parents in these conversations without stepping on toes.