Background info--I have been working on my pre-reqs for a 2nd degree nursing program for a couple of years now--finally finished! I got laid off from my job with law enforcement earlier this year (relevant because I would no longer be leaving a stable job to go to school). I am a single mother to a 7 month old baby girl. No help or contact with her father. I live with my parents now and rely heavily on them for basically all things.
Current situation: I got my acceptance into an ABSN program last week for a fall 2010 program. (yayyy!) I applied to programs in my area (California) but my only acceptance came from a school out in Kentucky. I originally applied with the intention of living with my cousin. She has recently kind of backed out...saying she doesn't have room right now (her son was supposed to move out but hasn't yet). Her husband is a carpenter and might be able to create a space for me and my baby by january 2011. My parents will not support me living in an apartment on my own...safety concerns. They think the best option is for me to live on campus at least the first semester and leave my daughter with them. My dad is retired and is completely the doting grandfather. I would be able to see her a few times in the semester and then for all of winter break (~month). Hopefully she would be coming back with me for the spring semester, but its not guaranteed. At least then I would be acclimated to the area.
I know an accelerated program will be difficult and feel that this is probably the best situation for her...I think? If she was with me, she would be in day care all day and see me a bit at night before going to bed. It would also save me a lot of money, not having to pay for day care. I just feel that it will be so heartbreaking, not getting to see her every day. Some people tell me that I flat out shouldnt leave her and others say it is an investment for our futures (we can't live off my parents forever).
I don't know...I just feel so bummed. I should be excited that I got into a nursing program (it is a 16 month program) but I hate the thought of leaving her.
It would be very hard leaving the child behind. However, people in the military do it all the time because they are deployed.
If you want to be a nurse as bad as you wanted to be a police officer or work in law enforcement. Then you will succeed and over come and these problems will work themselves out.
You have a supportive caring family. Not many single mothers have such a luxury (for whatever reasons personal, location, etc.)
With any nursing program. I don't care if its LPN, ADN, BSN, etc. Night or day.
It is very intensive work. The best thing you can do is have a study calender.
Also be aware that as soon as one thing is done, another assignment or test comes up. (AKA Wack-a-Mole, that game you play at the bowling alley).
I have confidence that if you want this bad enough you can make it.
Being a police officer is a lot similar to nursing.
If I were in your shoes I"d take the opportunity to go out to Kentucky for school. Your daughter will be safe with her grandparents and you will be able to concentrate on your studies.
I've been a single parent for most of my life; its difficult without a solid career such as nursing. Only now am I able to go to nursing school.
I could never leave my child. That first year or so of brain growth is INCREDIBLE and nobody is going to interact with your child (and be COMPLETELY delighted/smitten by her smiles and respond like mama) like you. Grandma is the next best person, most definitely. This is a crucial time in your child's development, and your baby should come first. She needs you.
I vote for a program closer to home so you can continue to stay with your parents/child AND go to nursing school = everybody wins that way. It may take a little longer to get into a program, but so what? Life isn't a race. Just finish strong. Good luck no matter what you decide! :)
"Thanks for all the input. Just to answer a few questions....my GPA from my bachelor's degree is what disqualifies me from many colleges in my area and in the country, really. :uhoh21:(I was too immature, really. I thought of it like a game...finished the degree in 2 years 8 months...but my GPA suffered from taking so many classes at once....I worried it would be the same for an accelerated program, but I am a much stronger student now). I have been getting almost straight A's on my pre-reqs since graduating. I have applied multiple times to the programs in my area but they don't accept me...I believe based on the low undergrad degree GPA."
I posted before I read your 2nd post (cited above).
In that case, I would recommend meeting w/ the counselors/advisors at the schools you'd like to attend to explain your history and your situation. Ask for their advice on how you can improve your chances of being admitted. You really sound like a high achiever who has grown even more since you were a younger student. I'll bet some of the advisors you talk to will recognize this as well. ;-)
look for different options close to home, there's more than just rn, or bsrn programs. i did not get accepted to the rn at a local c.c. twice, so i looked into lpn, bsrn, cna, anything to get my feet wet (i have a 2 year old, and am pregnant with our second). maybe you can do an lpn program for 1 year then bridge into a rn program, and then into the bsrn program, it's a lot of time, but worth it. i eventually opted to go to a private 4 year program, already having 2 years of prereq's done, i got in and will be starting in oct and done in 18 months and have a bachelors. i am lucky though, my husband is very supportive, and has watched our first (and will watch our second) while i study. but we will be a 1 income family with 2 kids in daycare once my classes start in october. point is keep searching, i've been looking 2 years, been denied 2 times, and paid for applications into over 15 schools (not nursing programs just the schools in hopes i could get into their nursing program) and last week just got into this school. private school is stupid expensive, but as a single mom you'll get awesome grants (pell grants, student loans, scholarships, etc) you have a much higher chance at getting in since they are not as competitive. you probably won't pay anything until you graduate and begin to work, that's how loans work here in florida at least. you may have a decent amount of loans when you get out-but you are a mom first, not a student, and being your little one's mommy is more important than fulfilling this particular dream. just keep looking in ca, at least find something in the same state, so if you do leave her/him with your folks you can come home at nights or even weekends. don't let her lose that identity as your baby; it will affect her in her life and ability to bond with others. my daughter felt so abandoned when i went back to work she stopped allowing me to hold/touch/kiss her! i had to go to a child therapist to get advice on how to get her "back" kids are very sensitive!
look for different options close to home, there's more than just rn, or bsrn programs. i did not get accepted to the rn at a local c.c. twice, so i looked into lpn, bsrn, cna, anything to get my feet wet (i have a 2 year old, and am pregnant with our second). maybe you can do an lpn program for 1 year then bridge into a rn program, and then into the bsrn program, it's a lot of time, but worth it. i eventually opted to go to a private 4 year program, already having 2 years of prereq's done, i got in and will be starting in oct and done in 18 months and have a bachelors. i am lucky though, my husband is very supportive, and has watched our first (and will watch our second) while i study. but we will be a 1 income family with 2 kids in daycare once my classes start in october. point is keep searching, i've been looking 2 years, been denied 2 times, and paid for applications into over 15 schools (not nursing programs just the schools in hopes i could get into their nursing program) and last week just got into this school. private school is stupid expensive, but as a single mom you'll get awesome grants (pell grants, student loans, scholarships, etc) you have a much higher chance at getting in since they are not as competitive. you probably won't pay anything until you graduate and begin to work, that's how loans work here in florida at least. you may have a decent amount of loans when you get out-but you are a mom first, not a student, and being your little one's mommy is more important than fulfilling this particular dream. just keep looking in ca, at least find something in the same state, so if you do leave her/him with your folks you can come home at nights or even weekends. don't let her lose that identity as your baby; it will affect her in her life and ability to bond with others. my daughter felt so abandoned when i went back to work she stopped allowing me to hold/touch/kiss her! i had to go to a child therapist to get advice on how to get her "back" kids are very sensitive!
how long were you away from your child....how old was she?
how long were you away from your child....how old was she?
i stayed home for the first 15 months, she was strictly breastfed until she was weaned at 13 months old, never even had a bottle (not so much by my choice, but after about 6 months of trying a bottle i gave up!) so she was very attached to mommy. after i went back to work she started clinging to daddy more, and mommy less until it got to the point she would not even let me hold her, she would scream in agony if i tried to pick her up - to the point of gagging she was so upset and would only calm down when her father held her and comforted her. it was devastating, and i was only gone m-f 8:30-5:30, i wasn't even gone overnight ever! it kept getting worse when i decided to consult a therapist i work with, she suggested i spend more time playing with her when i get home-get on the floor do whatever she wanted to do no matter how tired i was, and it helped and things are much better. i've been back at work 6 months now, but will be starting my full time nursing school in october, and then will be staying home when i am not at school.
i just know how trying it was for not only me, but my daughter, so i would think it would be very hard on a little one to not see mommy for that long, but then again these days you have webcams and cell phones, so depending on his/her age i guess if it's the only option, it could work.
You will be in a better situation to devote yourself to school full time with your child staying with grandma and grandpa. You will find that the accelerated program is no piece of cake. The less distractions you have, the better your chances of being successful. You can have quick conversations on the phone and visits when possible. At least she will be with loving family who are doing a lot to help you get started. Good luck in school.
As a ABSN grad I can say that it was no picnic. I am not sure that I would have been able to focus on school with a young child at home as I was doing double clinicals and double theory classes. (I didn't go back to school until my kids were in college/HS)
In many respects ABSN is like the military. Think of this like you are going on deployment. You will be working hard every day and have a lot to do from can see to can't see. There are school breaks during the school year that you will be able to fly home ad give her your undivided attention. It is always a conundrum to balance quality vs quantity of time as a parent.
Personally I think that as a returning student accepting the help from your family to make it though school-even if it means some separation- is the better strategy over the apartment and daycare system.
i stayed home for the first 15 months, she was strictly breastfed until she was weaned at 13 months old, never even had a bottle (not so much by my choice, but after about 6 months of trying a bottle i gave up!) so she was very attached to mommy. after i went back to work she started clinging to daddy more, and mommy less until it got to the point she would not even let me hold her, she would scream in agony if i tried to pick her up - to the point of gagging she was so upset and would only calm down when her father held her and comforted her. it was devastating, and i was only gone m-f 8:30-5:30, i wasn't even gone overnight ever! it kept getting worse when i decided to consult a therapist i work with, she suggested i spend more time playing with her when i get home-get on the floor do whatever she wanted to do no matter how tired i was, and it helped and things are much better. i've been back at work 6 months now, but will be starting my full time nursing school in october, and then will be staying home when i am not at school.
i just know how trying it was for not only me, but my daughter, so i would think it would be very hard on a little one to not see mommy for that long, but then again these days you have webcams and cell phones, so depending on his/her age i guess if it's the only option, it could work.
so, she was older...over a year old when you went back to work.
to the op, i think folks are absolutely correct....it will be a tough couple months for you. but she'll be with her grandparents, who you both live with now right?
it seems to me, that this will be far harder on you, than on your daughter. i think you should take the oportunity.
Thank you all for your advice. I have decided to go to the KY school... I agree with the previous poster who said it will be harder on me than on her. I will see her every night on skype. She is very close to her grandfather. My sister and mother are also very close with her. It will just be from late august to early december that we will be apart and it is a huge investment for our future.
I am only eligible for loans but luckily have some savings (I used to work three jobs at once and set up a savings account) to help pay for it. I have to say I was a little offended by someone saying I need to put my baby first and not school. I was laid off and need to find a job that will provide for us. I do live with my parents now but that can't last forever. They want to sell the house and buy a condo elsewhere. I wish I could wait until she was in school or something, but my science classes will "expire" and I need to get into a career to provide health insurance for her sooner rather than later. My savings will run out and I do not want to end up on public assistance just to survive. I think it is best to take advantage of the opportunity I have been presented. I think it will be better to be done before she even starts preschool so she won't be switching schools so I can go to a school where I might have to move.
Sorry this post probably isn't the most well thought out. The baby in question is sitting in my lap and has decided she wants to type. LOL
Congrats on deciding, and good luck to you, Britt7! :) I hope it all works out well for you and your daughter. I really respect that you want, and are willing to work hard for, a good future for you and your daughter. That is very admirable, indeed.
I wanted to say, and I think I can speak for most of us on this board, that none of us meant you any offense with our posts. You asked what we'd do, and we answered based on our own experiences -- which are varied.
With that said, I wish you only success on your journey towards becoming a nurse. Please keep us posted if you're able and so inclined -- so fun to celebrate everyone's victories and encourage each other through the setbacks and frustrations here at this site.
And one more thing I neglected to add: if it was one of my posts that offended you, I'm SO sorry. I only want to help and encourage everyone here, and get encouragment and advice when I need it -- I'm assuming we all want that and it's why we're here.
Okay, done! Off now to pick up my kiddos, then later to A&P to see how badly I tanked on Tuesday's exam. (It was a toughie!)
(It was a toughie!)
drmorton2b
253 Posts
It would be very hard leaving the child behind. However, people in the military do it all the time because they are deployed.
If you want to be a nurse as bad as you wanted to be a police officer or work in law enforcement. Then you will succeed and over come and these problems will work themselves out.
You have a supportive caring family. Not many single mothers have such a luxury (for whatever reasons personal, location, etc.)
With any nursing program. I don't care if its LPN, ADN, BSN, etc. Night or day.
It is very intensive work. The best thing you can do is have a study calender.
Also be aware that as soon as one thing is done, another assignment or test comes up. (AKA Wack-a-Mole, that game you play at the bowling alley).
I have confidence that if you want this bad enough you can make it.
Being a police officer is a lot similar to nursing.