I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
I absolutely hate when adults have unruly children visiting with them and when I come near they start saying things like "you better behave or that nurse will give you a shot!" No wonder kids are afraid of us!!!!!!!
Vickie
My standard reply lately has been "not today, today I'm just a big people nurse so mommy will have to get all the shots today." The kids love that and of course then I come in with a coloring book or something for the kids.
I had a footling breech 29 weeker dialated 7-8cm on arrival when the dad says don't you have water birth she wants to labor naturally... first no we don't have water births and if we did she's not doing it.
Had one the other day tell me her doc told her it's ok to smoke pot... I bet he did.
how about the primip in for cervidil and the whole crew comes in expecting a baby an hour after arrival at the hospital before the cervidil is even in.
or when will the baby come we've been here all night (not in labor but they've been there so that counts as part of the 3 days of labor)
An RT and I went to a thick mec delivery one night about midnight; there were 23 people in the room (when the baby came, he made 24)...the Sunday School class of 20-somethings had come to 'support' the new parents. The prayers and 'amens' accompanied the pushing and birth.
After 20 minutes of intubating, sx'ing, and stimulating this floppy 'slow starter', we declared him pink and vigorous. As we turned to leave, one of the men in the room, holding a 3 week-old infant, stopped me and said, "Do you remember us? We were in the NICU for two days?"
Yep, I remember exactly who you are. I even recognize the baby; he was one of the forty in the unit that week!! And I'll remember him 3 years from now in the mall.
Patients and families do say some funny stuff; some of it is ignorance (which education will help), some of it is stupidity (which nothing can help), and some of it comes from fear and the desire to have anything to help them through this situation. I guess it's up to us to determine which is which.
I have a pt who delivers lady partslly, with an epidural, who is too tired and too uncomfortable to hold the baby or breastfeed for more than 10 minutes in the two hours she is recovering on L&D, so the baby spent most of the time in the warmer as mom sleeps and dad tends to the 6 year old sibling that has not slept all night. Bring her up to post pardum, she does not want the nurse to take the baby to the nursery for a bath because she just can't leave her new baby, and she thinks the baby is hungry because she didn't have much time to feed her yet. Are you kidding, you had TWO hours, but you chose to sleep instead as your new baby sat under the warmer!
Sorry to rant, but it had been a LONG night with this pt!
PTS THAT COME IN FOR R/O LABOR STATING THEY HAVE BEEN CTX'ING, THEY ARE INTENSE AND FREQUENT, PUT THE TOCO ON, NO CTX'S, STILL NONE AFTER 10 MIN'S, 30 MIN'S..........YOU ARE SITTING AT BEDSIDE PALPATING FOR CTX'S IN CASE MONITOR NOT PLACED RIGHT, BUT STILL NOTHING. PT SAYS "THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS EVERYTIME YOU GUYS PUT THE MONITOR ON THE CTX'S STOP, I DONT KNOW WHY"
AND SOMEONE ELSE SAID AND ITS MY OTHER FAVORITE, SO WHEN WILL THE BABY BE BORN, I NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO TELL SO AND SO TO BE HERE.
OKAY I WILL PULL OUT MY CRYSTAL BALL AND GET BACK TO YOU, LOL
Speaking of "my crystal ball" It cracks me up when ANESTHESIA says " so when is this cervadil going to need her epidural?" I always say, "let me check my crystal ball and I'll get back to ya." funnyfunny
I hate coming in a room to see the grandmother feeding the baby as much formula as she can stuff in there. Me: "the baby's only 6hours old, why are you feeding him" her: "because my daughter doesn't have any milk yet". :angryfire When I say the word 'colostrum', they nod like they've heard the word before.
Why, dear Lord, don't OBs teach those mothers anything? I just don't get it.
I need a patience supplement.
On the opposite end of this spectrum, what about the baby whose blood suger is 20, and mom gets snotty with you because you have informed her that the ped has ordered D10 and formula. OK. You go ahead and breastfeed after we start an IV. HELLO!!!
Recently we delivered a 32 weeker by stat CS for a ruptured uterus. Apgars are 1-4-7. We have the baby intubated and are bagging it when the dad comes in and says "Oh cool a boy, when are you going to circumcise him."
I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
Omg- "They are going to have to take the baby"-that is like nails on the chalkboard for me!!! I hate that!
Speaking of "my crystal ball" It cracks me up when ANESTHESIA says " so when is this cervadil going to need her epidural?" I always say, "let me check my crystal ball and I'll get back to ya." funnyfunny
Don't forget my old favorites: While out in the field or in the ER (but before any x-ray or exploratory) Is my (hand, foot, knee, etc etc) broken? -My Comic-book brand X-ray goggles never worked anyway.
Omg- "They are going to have to take the baby"-that is like nails on the chalkboard for me!!! I hate that!
Certainly I'm missing something here. I don't work in or around OB/newborns, so what exactly (or who are they talking about) do they mean by 'they're going to have to take the baby'?
Certainly I'm missing something here. I don't work in or around OB/newborns, so what exactly (or who are they talking about) do they mean by 'they're going to have to take the baby'?
When I say the word 'colostrum', they nod like they've heard the word before. 
riern
65 Posts
My standard reply lately has been "not today, today I'm just a big people nurse so mommy will have to get all the shots today." The kids love that and of course then I come in with a coloring book or something for the kids.