What I Tell my Kids

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

As a nurse, we've all seen a ton of things: procedures, diagnoses, tests, etc. Some very heroic things done in the course of treating our patients. And with this comes moments when you think (or say) "I'm never having this done if I ever need it"

I work in ophthalmology, retina specifically, and we see many of our patients on a monthly basis for exams, testing and intravitreal injections to maintain eyesight. On any given day, we invariably see at least one patient in such advanced throes of dementia come in and the POA insists that their loved ones continue with the injections. They will be on the "trifecta" or "trifecta + 1" as we call it (Namenda, Aricept, Risperidal, the +1 is Exelon) and have NO CLUE what we are doing for them. It is incredibly sad that this happens and I tell my kids if they EVER do that to me when I am of advanced age, I will come back to haunt them after I'm gone!

I work with a nurse at my PRN position, she says "I tell my kids keep me pain-free and pooping, that's all I ask for!" I laugh when she says it, but there's a lot of truth to what she says!

What says you?

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I haven't told my husband or kids anything except for the fact that my SIL (who is a nurse) is my POA because I don't think they could make the decisions I want. I've seen my husband's decision-making with his mother (advanced dementia, frequent falls), and I don't like it.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I tell my kids that if they don't stop screaming "MOM! NO!" when I try to tell them my wishes, I will tattoo DNR across my forehead so that any Tom, Dick or Harry will clearly understand what I want. Also, I offer to buy them the gun to use on me if anyone manages to hook me up to anything other than a morphine drip.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

I told my four adult kids "Try turning me off, and then back on again. If that doesn't work, I'm ok with it".

[Sage611]

I watched my nana go through the various stages of dementia: bewilderment, belligerence, then finally apathy. I will no doubt inherit this curse. My husband jokes that he will have to take my panties off my head. It's really not amusing. Once I asked her, "Nana, are you happy?" She was in a facility, and I desperately wanted to be her caregiver. My dad, her POA, refused. Her response was, "Happy? What's happy?"

That about sums it up, folks. Here...but not really HERE. It's an awful sentence. Pure nothingness, just existing.

[brownbook]

I have a POA, health care directive, and long term care, etc. But I even tell my kids....when I'm loosing it, out of it enough, to need diapers and care with ADL's, but maybe not ready for assisted suicide, put me in a nursing home!

I cringe when I hear families or elderly people saying, "We would never put mom" or "Don't put me"....in one of those nursing homes!"

I'm looking forward to giving those nurses, CNA's, etc. a lot of trouble, .