What I am Taking This Summer (Is it too much?)

austin heart, BSN, RN · May 28, 2005

Yes I am a new mom. My son is about 4 months now, he doesn't sleep alot at all, but I am lucky I have a very good baby. He has essentially sat by himself awake for 4 hours at the longest, many times. He is a people person, but he loves his alone time with a book or the TV; don't ask me why.

DianeMyra, here is the quote from her post where she states that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by future nurse jess

Wow, this is getting heated and for my part I really didn't intend it to be. I'm not interested in a flame war. The OP never said she left her baby in front of the TV for 4 hrs. I have two children myself (ages 2.9 and 9 mo) so, while I'm not an expert I'm pretty aware of the developmental milestones you refer to. Bottom line, the OP didn't ask for advice on parenting. She was asking if her planned academic schedule was "do-able". She has lots of opinions on that to consider. This parenting advice, while maybe well intentioned, can come across the wrong way. Especially when, as in your last paragraph, you imply that the OP (or me, not sure who you are comparing yourself to here) doesn't share your devotion and/or prioritization when it comes to meeting her child's needs.

Sleepy, off for the night.

-Jess

Please read above quote from OP again.

I was stating child development to her because she states that her child is developmentally superior. No where in my posts did I offer her "parenting advice". I personally do not care how she raises her child, I just said that I feel sorry for the child. She asked for others opinions on whether her academic load was "too much" and I gave my opinion. I think one MUST figure in their children when planning their life. I am sorry that I can not as another poster said "offer validation" to her decision.

In my last paragraph I was not trying to imply that you or anyone else is not as devoted to their children, I am just saying that I personally can not image not being totally devoted to MY son.

Once again if you are not open to others opinions do not ask for them on a public message board.

DianeMyra · May 28, 2005

DianeMyra, here is the quote from her post where she states that.
She does NOT say that she leaves her child in front of the TV for four hours. You are twisting what she said to serve your own purposes, and you are clutching on to it, ignoring where she says point blank (in a post replying to you) that she does not do this. The following are her quotes "I would never keep from interacting with him." and, "I never ever said that I 'stick them in a bouncer by themselves all day in front of the TV and not enjoy them?', or anything of that nature." Some of your points are valid, but your dogmatic syle is overshadowing them. - Diane

Jess RN · May 28, 2005

DianeMyra, here is the quote from her post where she states that.
She does NOT say that she leaves her child in front of the TV for four hours. You are twisting what she said to serve your own purposes, and you are clutching on to it, ignoring where she says point blank (in a post replying to you) that she does not do this. The following are her quotes "I would never keep from interacting with him." and, "I never ever said that I 'stick them in a bouncer by themselves all day in front of the TV and not enjoy them?', or anything of that nature." Some of your points are valid, but your dogmatic syle is overshadowing them. - Diane
Yup, what she said! :)

Jess RN · May 28, 2005

Yup, what she said! :)
And, since the OP seems to have left the thread- and this discussion is no longer serving any real purpose other than **tching back and forth at each other- I propose we all move on.
-Jess

FocusRN · May 28, 2005

Wow, alot happened while I was gone, and here I will make a general reply, not to one person individually, because I don't have time. Now, because I am a God fearing christian, I won't reply to any one person with what is on my mind, because it would leave you with a more than "harsh" feeling. If you have a problem with the way I raise my son, well tough. I raise him the way I see fit according to his cues, because all children were different. I did not at any point in time ask for any parenting advice directly or indirectly. If I wanted that I would have gone on a parenting message board and not a nursing one. But I would happy take all of your parenting advice if you'd like to somehow go back in time concieve my son, carry him for a full nine months and then some, go through over 27 hours of labor with no pain meds, and deliver him. But with that said I don't think you would if you could. Now for those whohave tried to twist what I have said for your own purposes, congrats, you've just made it to the maturity level of a junior high school student. Clap, Clap. Now do you want a cookie? All jokes a side, trying to twist my words was very immature, and you know who you are. My guess is that right about now you're looking over your post wondering how you could be so immature, and seeing how obvious your intent was. I started this post to get a mix of opinions and validation about my course load this summer. I in no way asked for opinions about my son, because if that were the case I would have mentioned him in my OP. I was asked about my son, and I answered simple. Last, if you think twisting my words to fit your purpose about the way I raise my sone, somehow makes you seem, or makes you a better parent well I would feel sorry for your child, to have a parent that peity, that is if your child was any of my business and I cared. But he/she in not, and I don't. So basically I don't need your thought on child rearing, I don't want your opinions on child rearing, so don't give me your opinions on child rearing.

That is the last I will discuss this in this thread or on this board. If you have any opinions or advice as to my course load this summer, and if a person should take on such a load in the summer, I welcome them.

allnurses Guide · May 28, 2005

The OP basically has already made up her mind if you read further. I think she might have been looking more for validation than hear the answer it might not be doable.
(How many days did you last without stirring something up again? :rotfl: )

Ah well, it was offered up to be stirred! :)

Funny, mention anything about parenting and we are "judgmental" but offer advice about how many classes to take and it is all good. Parenting is obviously a touchy issue.

All some of us are saying is that babies need lots and lots of one on one stimulation and saying that a 4 month old loves his alone time with the tv or a book and defining that alone time as up to four hours sometimes denies all research into child development.

In nursing school, the OP will undoubtedly become acquainted with Erik Erickson and there will most likely be NCLEX questions on this too . . .but his theory of eight stages of psychosocial development describes the first stage as one of trust versus mistrust (birth - 1 year). The first relationship a child has is with the parents. If consistent and compassionate, the infant develops security. John Bowlby's work on attachment maintained that the attachment between mother and child is so important that if it does not occur or is severed, the parent-child relationship will always be vulnerable.

Infants have emotional needs, not just physical ones. The famous experiment I alluded to earlier failed miserably because the children were only held when they needed a bottle or a diaper change.

Romanian orphans offer a primary example of pernicious effects due to lack of stimulation. Many stimuli deprivation studies have been performed on animal populations resulting in deleterious brain function. Romania does not adequately fund staffing for its orphanages as is the case for many of its bureaucratic institutions. Thus, there is a shortage of staff to nurture and stimulate the great number of orphans in their care. Infant stimulation is restricted to changing and feeding. However, even the feeding process is automated; the infant is turned on its side, a bottle is placed on a towel, and the child is left to suckle. The bottle is removed when empty. A study performed on these infants performed by Wayne State University, Detroit, found that Romanian orphans had dysfunction in a number of brain regions that caused both short-term and long-term detriments. It clearly demonstrates that nature and nurture play significant roles in brain development. Lack of stimulation actually affects the architecture of the brain - its fundamental wiring does not develop appropriately.

For example, a New York Times article reports: "Cultural critics in the 1920's [ ] warned against cloying motherly love, fearing it would fail to prepare children for the impersonal industrial world they were to enter. This concern paved the way for behavioralists like John B. Watson, who boasted of being able to program children as if they were microchips."

Today, we know that: "The easiest and quickest way to induce depression and alienation in an infant or child is not to touch it, hold it, or carry it on your body."

Yet, "experts" advised parents against doing what comes naturally: "Kissing the baby after it has been fed is very likely to cause it to vomit." "Never let them sit on your lap." Instead, the experts advised: "Shake hands with them in the morning."

All I'm saying is that as a nurse, if a mom came to me in a clinic with the same questions as the OP, I would, as a trained child development medical person, have qualms. She may be overextending herself school-wise. Her child being left to his "alone time" for up to 4 hours would, as a nurse, worry me.

steph

Edited to add: I am NOT saying the OP does what happened to the Romanian orphans . . .all I'm saying is that there is ample evidence that infants needs physical and emotional stimulation to make their brains grow . ... . that's all.

trendz80 · May 28, 2005

Hi ,

I want to congratulate you on your new bundle of joy. I feel as you do. I tried to do everything all at once so I can start my program. If you don't work, you can do it. You will just be studying all of the time. You know how you are and what you can handle. I was very tired of people trying to talk me out of the accelerated program that I am in. I know I will do well; keep a positive attitude and do your best. Like you said and I say this too, I have no choice but to do well. I can tell you that I have done my best work when my daughter was just born until about 1 year old. She is more active now, but I do have my grandmother to take care of her, so it helps. I think you will be fine. I took A&P I and II in a class and my husband took A&P I online through edukan. It was easier to me than the regular class setting.

You can do it!!!!!

Take care,

Lashawn

Human Anat & Physi 1 (CCCONLINE)
Human Anat & Physi II (CCCONLINE)
ORGANIC AND INORGANIC CHEMISTRY (CCCONLINE)
Microbiology (ECE)
English Conp (I & II) (ECE)
Life Span Psyc (ECE)
General Psyc (CLEP)
Is this too much. Well if it is I will just be studying my a$$ off because I have no choice. DO ya'll think that I can do it.

GrnHonu99, RN · May 28, 2005

I'm sorry OP that your parenting skills are being debated on this board! You are completely correct, it is not anyone elses business how you raise you child, you do the best you can do and don't worry what anyone else says. ONLY YOU KNOW what you are capable of. I think that you have made it undoubtably clear that you DO NOT want parenting advice so respecting that I think that as long as you work hard and have a great support system you can do anything! On those loooong days that I think that I cannot possibly do anymore I suprise myself and somehow handle it. If it is in your heart you can do it!!!!!!:):):)

here are a few pointers....

1.make some notecards, those are sooo valuable, the colored ones work the best...lol...dont get the neon ones they bleed.

2.For you in class lectures, get a digital recorder and record your classes (hey maybe you and your son can listen to them together! lol maybe a future nurse!!:)) i find that when im commuting i can switch it on and listen to the lecture all over again

3.time management skillls are a must...learn to use every minute wisely

4.use this forum for school questions, there are tons of smart people on here who love helping with those hard questions

5.conceptualize dont just memorize, thats really important and down the road you will thank yourself!

good luck op!!

FocusRN · May 28, 2005

Hi ,
I want to congratulate you on your new bundle of joy. I feel as you do. I tried to do everything all at once so I can start my program. If you don't work, you can do it. You will just be studying all of the time. You know how you are and what you can handle. I was very tired of people trying to talk me out of the accelerated program that I am in. I know I will do well; keep a positive attitude and do your best. Like you said and I say this too, I have no choice but to do well. I can tell you that I have done my best work when my daughter was just born until about 1 year old. She is more active now, but I do have my grandmother to take care of her, so it helps. I think you will be fine. I took A&P I and II in a class and my husband took A&P I online through edukan. It was easier to me than the regular class setting.
You can do it!!!!!
Take care,
Lashawn

Thanks.

FocusRN · May 28, 2005

I'm sorry OP that your parenting skills are being debated on this board! You are completely correct, it is not anyone elses business how you raise you child, you do the best you can do and don't worry what anyone else says. ONLY YOU KNOW what you are capable of. I think that you have made it undoubtably clear that you DO NOT want parenting advice so respecting that I think that as long as you work hard and have a great support system you can do anything! On those loooong days that I think that I cannot possibly do anymore I suprise myself and somehow handle it. If it is in your heart you can do it!!!!!!:):):)
here are a few pointers....
1.make some notecards, those are sooo valuable, the colored ones work the best...lol...dont get the neon ones they bleed.
2.For you in class lectures, get a digital recorder and record your classes (hey maybe you and your son can listen to them together! lol maybe a future nurse!!:)) i find that when im commuting i can switch it on and listen to the lecture all over again
3.time management skillls are a must...learn to use every minute wisely
4.use this forum for school questions, there are tons of smart people on here who love helping with those hard questions
5.conceptualize dont just memorize, thats really important and down the road you will thank yourself!
good luck op!!

Thanks. I really need to work on number 5, that has always been a big problem. I have a photographic memory, even with things that I read, so I would always go back to my memory and them try to conceptualize. It has always worked but I really don't think that it will work on the job. And number 2 is a great idea. I tried it once but it really didn't help, I hate to listen to a lecture. I'd rather read. That's why I like online classes, or at least a teacher who will provide their notes on paper.

LydiaNN · May 28, 2005

And might I just point out that I did NOT offer parenting advice as it pertained to the baby? What I suggested was that the poster, who apparently is young, might find herself very surprised by how quickly time passes, and in the blink of an eye, her baby won't be a baby anymore. It was absolutely not a value judgement, but an observation based on my personal experience, and offered as food for thought. I have yet to meet a Mom who remarks that she wishes she had spent less time playing with her baby, and more time doing anything else, whatever that anything else might be.

LydiaNN · May 28, 2005

And while I'm here, is it now common to require Organic I&II as nursing program pre-reqs? Back in the Stone Age, we didn't need to take Organic. Maybe that's because carbon hadn't been identified yet...:rotfl: