What have I done?!

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Ok, so this is a small (well...maybe medium sized) pity party and vent. I am a brand new nursing student and I'm just feeling very disillusioned about the whole thing. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know I would cry every day. I didn't realize that I would question this decision every moment and think "oh my God, what have I done?!" I guess I just wasn't realistic about it and was just so excited to be accepted and start along the path towards my dream...I never realized that a dream can be a nightmare. I did well on my first test, but my school does some of the content online and I'm having to learn to do health assessments purely by reading the book and doing interactive course content online. We get no lab or lecture time before we are checked off, and are expected to perform a perfect head-to-toe assessment. Is it me or is this crazy? I am definitely going to practice on anyone who will stand still long enough, but I am just frustrated that I will get no teacher feedback before they decide whether I have mastered the skill or if they should kick me out of the program. All I can do is my best, and I'm trying my hardest, but it's very nearly impossible to read 12 chapters, watch skills videos, and figure out how to do something as hands on as this without having anyone who actually knows what they're doing guide you through. That, and I'm having some serious issues figuring out how to document my findings. I either don't include enough or I write a book so to speak on their assessment. Does it come with practice? Does nursing school get easier? I don't mean easier in the sense that the content becomes less intense, but just in that you get into a rhythm and get used to it. I hope so, I'm not sure how many more panic attacks I can take. I won't quit though...I may fail, but I WILL NOT quit. Thanks and sorry for whining!

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Specializes in LTC, Cardiac Step-Down.

I felt exactly the same way my first semester. I felt like I would never get everything done and that I would fail every check-off. But, I made it, and I did very well grade-wise in the class as well.

First semester is the hardest because you haven't perfected your study skills. Soon you'll learn that you don't have to read every word of every chapter to get most of the test material. In most of my courses, the most important material and about 80% of the test material came from the charts and graphs, not the actual reading. Focus more on the nursing process sections if your book has them. If not, while reading always ask yourself what this passage is saying you will do if you come across a situation with your patient. It's still a chunk of reading, but if you practice you can usually pick out test questions right from the text.

Are there times when you could go into a lab setting and practice your skills on the mannequin or whatever it is you use to check-off? Does your program offer tutoring? Those are great ways to increase your confidence and possibly get some feedback before you're doing the actual check-off. Also, use your fellow students - they can be great resources.

I'm sorry you're having so much anxiety over this and feel like it's been a disappointment. It DOES get easier, but it will take time. Just breathe and take it a day at a time.

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Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words. I am glad to know it's normal to feel a little bamboozled at this point. I'm making it a point to study with classmates and we practice our skills together. If I don't make it through it won't be for lack of trying! That's great advice about the books, I noticed the same thing from our first test. I did good grade wise (89%), but I'm so nervous about all the technical skills. I will focus more on reading the charts, graphs, etc. so that I don't miss the forest for the trees, ya know? Thanks again!

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

I felt the same way when I started. It does get easier/better.

Just remember that it's also okay to cry. I cried quite a few times throughout my first year and I know I wasn't the only one.. :chuckle

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Specializes in Case management, occupational health.

It's overwhelming, I know. I wish I could tell you it is going to get easier, it's not. BUT it is a different kind of overwhelming. At first it feels like everything is getting thrown at you at once, but once you get into the groove that part does get better. What gets harder it there is more material to learn in less and less amount of time.

It is okay to cry, I think we all do (even the guys) in the first semester.

By the time you are in your third semester 12 chapters will seem like nothing.

Do you work also? I had to cut back my hours from 50+ to 36 hours a week or less this semester and next semester I am probably going to have to cut back even more, we (I am a single mom) will probably have to live on PB&J sanwiches but it will be worth it to keep my grades up.

Hang in there you can do it

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I've just decided I won't try not to cry, I'll just study while I weep lol. My poor hubby thinks I have gone insane, but he's very supportive. I don't have to work while in school, so it's my only focus. I just have to get in the groove. Thanks for everyone's support!:heartbeat

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Specializes in M/S, Tele, Sub (stepdown), Hospice.

prern....i saw this poem in on this site somewhere before and i kept it. i'm in my 2nd semester and i think we've all felt the way you do right now. i'm sure i'll be balling my eyes out next week when i start my care plans again :crying2:

anyway...here is the poem...enjoy!! :wink2:

the student nurse's prayer

lord: i know we go through this every day but please give me the knowledge as to why i actually wanted to go to nursing school. lord, give me the strength to make it through those boring five hour lectures without falling asleep. lord, please give me the patience to make it through twelve hour clinicals with instructors that can't just give you the right answer and on the same note, give the nurses the ability to remember what it was like to be a student and give us just a little more respect. lord, give me the endurance to read all the assigned readings and be able to remember it when i am taking a test with four right answers. lord, give my family and friends the ability to realize i really am on the edge of insanity. finally, lord, give me the vision to see that one day i will be a real nurse and i will never have to wear this ugly uniform again.

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I think what your going through and feeling is quite typical and normal of many new nursing students. I know that I felt the same way in the beginning. I remember a group of us students contemplating whether to quit that first semester. It does get easier with time. Just take one step at a time and study/read some each day so that overwhelming feeling doesn't occur too often.

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When I get overwhelmed I say,

"Ok, self, keep it simple."

Then I make a short list of priority's and knock them off 1 by 1.

Sample:

A. Call friend and get them to come over latter (even better if they are a nurse)

1. Read chapter 10.

2. Prepare presentation.

3. Read Chapter 11.

4. Practice assessment on friend.

It's the only way I can keep sane when is like, read chapters 10,11,12,13,17, give a presentation, and be prepared to test out on narrative assessment.

BTW I feel your pain :)

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I am in my last semester of nursing school...I have about six more weeks of class. Here is how I got through the first and second and third and fourth semester.

Do Your Best, but realize you will NOT be able to complete all of those readings. Read what you do not understand from the notes / lecture. (I do not know a single nursing student who does all of the readings after the first week or two of class).

Focus on your patient during clinical. Realize that although you may not know much yet, you probably know way more than they do.

Study how to take nursing tests...do as many practice questions as you can. Nursing tests are more about reasoning than content.

And most importantly, just BREATHE, there is a huge nursing shortage and I am pretty sure your teachers want you to Pass!

Good luck! Take care of yourself!

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Specializes in CNA- many years ago.

I think you may have been in my Micro class in the Fall. I am applying to GHC for Fall 09. Any suggestions for me? I know it seems overwhelming to you, but from the many first year students I've talked to, they all say the same thing. When did they cash your check for the application fee?

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Specializes in Telehealth, Hospice and Palliative Care.

I am so with you! I cry, vent at my poor husband, and doubt my abilities constantly, wondering how I'll ever be able to do this.

I'm just taking it one day at a time and trusting the process will get me there.

(FYI- I cried in front of like 4 teachers at a blown head-to-toe med-admin testout. We laugh about it now.)

Good Luck!

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