What do you do if a doctor yells at you?

[mitchsmom]

I'm a student (I haven't started clinicals yet) and I've been thinking about this. I hear people who say they come up with cutesy jokes or lines to throw back at them, and comedy is a great tension breaker and relationship-saver but I also wonder if it undermines the fact that it's at a minimum rude or sometimes probably could be considered abusive in the context of any other relationship (I've heard of objects being thrown?!). For example, I've seen a "Dr. Paddle" on the wall in a unit, hahaha how cute. Not! To me that is sort of akin to an abused wife saying "oh, you know, he doesn't *mean* anything by the things he says..."

I hear it so often, it seems like pretty much all nurses get yelled at by doctors - is this the case? I am not a hothead by any means and I've got thick skin, but I'm not sure how I'll be dealing with the principle of that kind of unprofessionalism and disrespect. I'm just curious to hear your experiences.

PS... also curious to hear if the male nurses get it equally as often as the females (and I know this has to be "no").

[Jailhouse RN]

I have been a nurse for over 20 years. I am male and have been yelled at once and had a chart thrown at me one time. When yelled at I told the offending physician that when he grew up he could address me like a man or we could continue the conversation in the parking lot like children where he would find himself needing his own services. When the chart came at me, I moved aside and then very quietly told the offending physician that he could pick it up and went for a cup of cffee. I do not encourage threats or violence. I do how ever do encourage nurses to stand up for themselves.

[Audreyfay]

I've never had a doctor yell at me. I've been an RN for 32 years. Don't know what I do, but I've always treated them with respect and anticipate I will get the same back.

[clgmezzo]

It depends on the doctor. I think its wrong to stereotype docs as eveil nurse basking superioir feeling folks, however there are a few out there, and the always make life. . . interesting. I work in a specialty critical care area and on my unit a lot of the residents that we get have never seen a burn pt before, and sometimes the orders they give are completely inapproriate. We tend to take charge, especially with some newerr ones who dont realize they dont know it all, and when they give us gruff just remind them that i could always call their attending at home, which is where we get lucky, all but one of our attendings backs us up every time. They are a part of the team and we all trust and count on each other, an attending at my hospital will listen to a nusrses assessment of a situaion over a residents many times, which they tend to NOT like!!! You have to stand up for yourself and be respectful at the same time, but always put the pt first and not back down when it comes to pt safety and condition

[Alnamvet]

The handfull who tried that crap with me over the last 20 years have lived and learned to regret it. The only difference between me and a miscreant MD is a salary as far as I'm concerned!

[moia]

I have had one bad moment and I grabbed that little jerk and hauled him into a private room and told him very clearly if he tried that crap with me again he would be paying a lawyer and looking for a new job.

Happily that little moment made the rounds and has become mythic in proportions so new residents know me before we meet, they also know that I will have their back 100% even if they screwed up. They all know that they can come to me with questions and I will be patient and help them settle into a really scary environment.

I think we forget sometimes how really scary our jobs are and get impatient too easily.

I have had residents that were really hostile for the first few days until they realized the nurses wouldn't let them make any really terrible errors. They relaxed and soon got used to the pace.

I have had a doctor question every move I made after a sudden death and at first I felt like I was being attacked and I told him that. He didn't even realize and apologized. I think you really need to speak up if you feel like a doctor has gone over the line.

[Gerrymander]

Take it from a student nurse who just graduated the other day. DOn't worry about the doctors! Ya some can be jerks but you feel them out pretty fast. All I can say is stand up for yourself. I have had a few docs wich I dread calling or talking to but you do it because it is for your patients well being. Just approach them "knowing" your patient and make sure you have checked the doctors notes andchart out first....oh ya and make notes before talking to them! This always helps if you are getting frustrated....it helps to refocus and keep on track.

TIPS: It may be the hardest thing to do but make sure you have a private conversation with the individual after and let them know you did not appreciate their behavior (doctor or any other health care professional!). Don't put up with anything just because you are a student! Remember you have your instructors to support you when you are a student. When you graduate you are more or less on your own. Use your resources while you have them. Talk with your instructor re: conflict resoluition tactics!

You have made a great leap of faith assuming that your instructors will back you up; unfortunately this is FAR from the truth! Case in point: student nurse calling MD for an order (with RN standing next to her; because the MD didn't feel he was getting the adequate information, wrote student and preceptor up for "wasting my time;" student got hauled into the dean's office with the MD there and made to apologize. How degrading! This student quit at the end of the semester. Please don't ever think your faculty members are there to support you; they ARE NOT!!!!!

[slinkeecat]

I have been a nurse for 14 years and I can tell you that in my 14 years I have been very fortunate to grow a spine and backbone. My first couple of years I wass pretty tolerant of the crap that some doctors pulled. I have called Drs at 0300am and have been cursed at for trying to obtain orders that were needed in an emergency situation, this particular doctor did not beleive in "standing Orders", Well, He was berating me and I cut him off and I told, with all due respect, if you do not like calls at this hour than perhaps you'll rethink your policy of no standing orders and get some. Stop wasting my time and your patient's time... He was so shocked he said well, what do you want? I got every order I needed to help my patient's needs. The DR was never rude again and we have a great working relationship. He is the most hated DR we have, but he and I get along, because I stood up to him. Also, one time I told a doctor if he didn't like being called as a doctor, then perhaps he should go flip burgers at burgerking.

[DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN]

I don't tolerate being yelled at by anybody.

On the few occasions it has happened I have calmly told the person involved that I am a grown adult and willl not be shouted at likle a child. A question like "Was there any need to be so impolite?" usually calms people down.