1. Please fill out the triage form completely. We specially like it when you fill out the part that says "reason for coming to the hospital" as it prevents us from having to use our magical ESP powers to determine if you have chest pain or just a hangnail.
2. Do not disturb the triage nurse while she is with a patient. She is giving the patient her full attention. When you get into triage, YOU will get her full attention. Wait your turn.
3. Unless you are on fire or in full arrest, you can wait just three seconds for the triage nurse to acknowledge you before you start shouting at her. Believe me, if you shout at her near the end of a difficult twelve hour shift, she is liable to shout back.
4. After you have been triaged, please take a seat in the lobby and do not come to the triage desk every five minutes asking "When am I going to see the doctor?" Like we told you the first time, you'll see a doctor AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. No, we don't know exactly how long that will be.
Rules for the treatment area
1. Answer the nurses' questions honestly and completely. If you lie we WILL find out.
2.Do not go to the nurses' desk every five minutes asking how long it will be before the doctor sees you. We don't know. Again, unless you are on fire or in full arrest, please accept that there are probably patients in the ER who are sicker than you. Yes, I know you FEEL like the sickest patient in the ER; so does everyone else. However, the nice gentleman down the hall with a Sat of 70% trumps your earache.
3. Do not act like it's the end of the world when I tell ou I need to draw some blood. You knew it was coming. If you will sit still and follow my instructions, I will get the blood with a minimum of pain and difficulty. If I have to chase you across the room and hold you down, there will be no such guarantee. Nobobdy likes having blood drawn (inclucing me) but it's a fact of life that sometimes it has to happen.
4. I'm sorry that you have to stay on a stretcher in the hall. I wouldn't like it either. However, all of our rooms are full. The only other option is for you to continue waiting in the lobby. Your call.
5. Family members, please do not assume that I am going to abuse mawmaw if you leave the room. If I ask you to step outside while I draw blood or place a foley, please do not get all huffy about it. The rooms are small and you are in my way. Don't take it personally. I promise not to smother your loved one with a pillow while you are gone. The nursing staff is not your enemy.
6. If you have a complaint of abdominal pain, nausea, and vomiting, you may not have anything to eat or drink. So don't ask.
7. Lastly, please remember that we nurses are only human. You can look around and see when we are very busy. Please take that into consideration. If we forget to bring you that extra warm blanket or another glass of water, don't blow a fuse. Please just assume that maybe we were busy saving a life next door.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has felt this way from time to time!
I just want to say ER nurses are the s@#t! I totally respect you guys and hopefully I will get to be one of you guys as soon as I finish school. I have worked ER as a hospital corpsman in the Navy and I can definitely understand the rules! Nightengale, you made me laugh so hard, I shot diet coke out of my nose! :roll
Do you guys think I should go to the ER for carbonation damage to my nose?
mother/babyRN, you are so right! We will work trauma all day long, but when it comes to catching babies, it's Katy bar the door! All I want is out!
My personal favorite is the 23 year old that had her tongue pierced, then came in the next day "coz it hurts. And will I have to wait long?" And no, she could afford to get a body piercing, but couldn't afford a bottle of Tylenol or Motrin.
I have to laugh at these people, if I don't,I'll cry.
In my experience, it was always less about how quickly they can be turfed than absolute fear and disgust...We weren't supposed to see anyone in delivery under 20 weeks and MANY times er people would fib and be flabbergasted that we could mentally calculate the actual due date....We think its kind of funny since if she isn't delivering or doesn't have a delivery problem, she doesn't belong in labor and delivery....We can skip the flu, colds, uti and all that stuff...
I can't believe this thread has gotten this long. Glad to have made some folks laugh, anyway. I think the number one rule for the ER (and any other HC falility) should be "Being sick does not give you the right to be hateful or discourteous". That sums up most everyone's complaints in a nutshell!
RE: pregnant ladies in the ER: Heck yes we turf them to L&D! Most of us ER folk have long since forgotten what drugs are safe for use during pregnancy and we haven't checked a cervix since nursing school! I'd definitely rather leave the mother/ baby stuff to the experts; with pregnancy and birth there are no second chances and no room for error. If someone has an MI over in teh L&D unit, ya'll send 'em right on over to me. Somebody tries to have a baby in the ER, look out cause here we come!
The other day I relieved the triage nurse and I wasn't there for 2 seconds when a young kid came up to me. I asked him what his name was and he pointed to the next name on the list, so I took him inside. Well it turned out he thought he was being slick and the name he pointed to wasn't his. So of course the person whose name he had pointed to was irate and said his baby was REALLY sick with a high fever. Of course, the baby had about 5 layers of clothes on, including a hat and a snowsuit. And of course his temperature was never taken and he waa never given Tylenol. Then we had a woman who brought in her baby and said I think the doctor needs to see him now...its an emergency. So I am thinking of course, ABC'S. He wsa so bundled up it was hard to tell. I get the baby undressed...everything seems fine, except that his eyes were closed. He had a little conjunctivitis. I don't recall pink eye being an emergency, but hey, what do I know? Then we had a baby who had taken Amoxil for the first time and broke out in hives but was fine otherwise and they got upset that I put the baby in fast track. They insisted it was chicken pox and also informed me that they were putting alchohol on the rash. When I said that's not a good idea she said, " Well that's what everyone told me to do, " Everyone meaning her mother and grandmother. Again, what do I know? I'm not a nurse or anything.
Whenever I see a pt. in ER and they begin to go into the spill about how nurse so and so made them wait all day... I have a nice reply.
Be GLAD you had to wait. We just moved another patient out that didn't have to wait at all. But he had a massive heart attack and will be going home to a pine box. Waiting is just a sign that you're likely to live through this illness.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has felt this way from time to time!
:roll 
ShelleyERgirl, LPN
436 Posts
I just want to say ER nurses are the s@#t! I totally respect you guys and hopefully I will get to be one of you guys as soon as I finish school. I have worked ER as a hospital corpsman in the Navy and I can definitely understand the rules! Nightengale, you made me laugh so hard, I shot diet coke out of my nose!
:roll
Do you guys think I should go to the ER for carbonation damage to my nose?