Okay, I hope you all don't get really weirded out by this but I wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions or tips. This is not a joke: this is important to me:
I easily get distracted by my work or by focusing on something I need to focus on. Like, after I'm done working or going to class or watching the news or reading a book or watching a movie(anything that I take great care to fully pay attention to because its important to me or because it stresses me out), my mind will stay on the subject matter, even when I'm at a meal, holding conversations, driving, cooking, buying groceries, trying to sleep, ect. I always get lost into matters of concern while other people live way more down on the earth. You could say that I lose touch with reality real easy and then can't come back. It doesn't really affect work except that friends get angry at this and its hard to communicate with other people and relate to them and relax without feeling like I'm in somekind of twilight zone and I don't know really where I am. But anyways, I'm gone all the time.
I've strangely found that feeling my pulse helps to relieve this stress and bring me down back to earth. (Isn't that strange?) I guess it kind of gives me the same effect as holding rosary beads. It kind of reminds me that I'm alive and here and real and well, I guess. It brings me back to myself.
Its not really socially acceptable to take your own pulse though it is acceptable to hold rosary beads while you're in the middle of a conversation.
Is there any way I can feel that my pulse is there without anyone noticing anything strange?
As long as it's not ruling your life, I think it's fine to take your pulse if it calms you down. If it gets out of control, however, you may want to consider meds. I've taken meds for OCD and GAD and they helped tremendously.
meds are aimed at treating the symptoms therapy the cause.sounds like you have seen professionals about your problems. i have seen people with all kinds of problems overcome them through professional therapy and time. you already know that you have some serious problems that interfere with your ability to function. you have stated that you prefer biofeedback. since you have found something that works stick with it until your problem is resolved. as long as you keep thinking about things that have nothing to do with your life like a fantasy played out in a movie then you dont have to face what is going on in yours. you take your pulse because again it prevents you from moving onto a functional behavior that would benefit you. doesnt sound like you are enjoying this. find one thing that brings you joy and pursue it. that would help to drown out all of the things that you dont.
ha ha very funny no jokes!
yeah guys, i'm not schizophrenic or anything so i don't absolutely and completely lose touch with reality or anything. its not that bad yet. i feel kind of wary about sharing this(i know, i know i can share the weird pulse thing but i cant share a dx without feeling uncomfortable) but i've already been diagnosed as ma.depr and ocd; the problem is that i get knocked out a lot and its hard for me to function. i am very much against meds for myself unless i need something immediately or over the course of a few days. i truly think its best to use biofeedback mechanisms and to realize what in your present environment and unconscious past is making you malfunctio by making you scared or nervous. really, for those of you in psych, how many people do you see on medications all their lives who never really get much better? i know a few.
I do that occasionally too. I've noticed that the pulse in some of my fingers is stonger than others. Try pressing your thumb and forefinger together. You might be able to detect the pulse there. Even putting your finger on the pinna of your ear, closing it, will allow you to hear your pulse.
Probably a better way to help relax you is by taking some slow deep breaths and listening for the sound of your breathing.
PennyLane, RN
1,193 Posts
As long as it's not ruling your life, I think it's fine to take your pulse if it calms you down. If it gets out of control, however, you may want to consider meds. I've taken meds for OCD and GAD and they helped tremendously.