Watching Suffering...Do You Get Used to It?

SmilingBluEyes · Jul 17, 2004

You never get used to it but you learn effective ways to cope......

I leave work at work and enjoy HOME when I am there. It's how I cope. I know it sounds simplistic, but it really works for me. The KEY is to have a LIFE outside NURSING, at least for me.

leslie :-D · Jul 17, 2004

although ideally i agree with deb, if i've taken care of a patient that suffered and passed that way, it stays with me for awhile. i have much difficulty turning myself off after leaving work. and i would love to be able to do so. yes, it brings some relief knowing everything that could have been done, was done but it is something i will never ever get used to.

and i do not cope too well with it either. definitely need to work on that.

KarafromPhilly · Jul 17, 2004

It depends on what you mean by suffering--we can alleviate, or at least diminish nausea, hallucinations, pain, itching, anxiety, and other kinds of suffering with nursing interventions and various drugs. In that sense, witnessing suffering gives us, as nurses, the opportunity to help people when they need it most, which is totally amazing.

On the other hand, there are some things that nobody can fix, like a new and scary diagnosis. I find that just allowing people to talk and be listened to goes a long way.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2004

Like Kara says, we do all we can do to relieve their suffering, even if we can't cure them or take it all away. That helps.

It's frustrating when you don't have the staff or resources to give that extra you would like to give to help your patient.

Chevelle · Jul 17, 2004

Thanks for the replies. What brought me to the question was I went to a website for Steven Johnson Syndrome (i think that is what it is called?) and they had pictures...all of them were terrible but there were some of an infant and a six year old. It made me wonder how as a nurse, especially b/c I would think you are the primary caregiver, do you deal with watching something like that? I would not to "shut myself off" so to speak, yet I would not want to carry it with me everywhere outside of work. I was just curious. Thanks again.

RN92 · Jul 17, 2004

Every once in a while you will make a difference for a patient. Its those times that will make you feel GREAT, and carry you through all of the bad times.! If a nurse ever gets to the point where patient suffering doesnt bother them - then its time to get out of nursing.

Jailhouse RN · Jul 17, 2004

Even in a prison, you never get used to it. However you cope knowing you have done your job the best you know how.

Destinystar · Jul 17, 2004

i never have and never will get used to human beings suffering. that is why i became a nurse that is why i take class after class, year after year and try to gain all the experience i can to alleviate it. it is hard to explain this but i am not sure that what i do is always a big help but i know it never hurts to try. burn out is not a result from helping others it is a result of neglecting ourselves. :rolleyes:

the biggest worry i have about going into a field such as this is watching the suffering of the patients and their families. do you ever get used to it? does knowing that you are doing all you can help? i worry that the mental ramifications of it would lead to feeling burnt out. any thoughts?

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 17, 2004

Thanks for the replies. What brought me to the question was I went to a website for Steven Johnson Syndrome (i think that is what it is called?) and they had pictures...all of them were terrible but there were some of an infant and a six year old. It made me wonder how as a nurse, especially b/c I would think you are the primary caregiver, do you deal with watching something like that? I would not to "shut myself off" so to speak, yet I would not want to carry it with me everywhere outside of work. I was just curious. Thanks again.

Those are the kinds of patients that really tug at your again. Again just knowing I've done something, no matter how small to less the suffering helps me. The other week, I gave myself an assignment (one nice thing about doing charge) and took care of an elderly bed ridden stroke victum with an autoimmune disorder that caused huge painful blisters all over her trunk, legs and arms. She moaned in pain when turned, etc. Giving her a gentle bath, back rub and Demerol seemed to comfort her. Knowing I helped her also helped me to cope with the cruelty of her disease.

It takes a very special breed to take care of suffering children. Not sure I could do that.

Good luck. The fact that you care enough to ask lets me know that you're going to be a great nurse and a comfort to many. :)

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Jul 18, 2004

She moaned in pain when turned, etc. Giving her a gentle bath, back rub and Demerol seemed to comfort her. Knowing I helped her also helped me to cope with the cruelty of her disease.

So very true, Tweety.

ham22 · Jul 18, 2004

I have learned how to get through it but I don't think I'll ever get used to it. There is one thing in particular that sticks with me though. I was working my first night alone as Charge nurse and had only had my license maybe 2 months when I lost my first resident. The thing that gets to me is I feel guilty for not calling the family sooner. His wife was on her way there when he passed and she was so emotionally distraught over not being able to say goodbye to him one last time that I just can't get it out of my head. She had been with him almost every hour of every day too. She had went home to get some rest. I ended up bawling my eyes out right along with the family. I have learned to control that now but sometimes if a resident is in pain, be it physical or emotional I do tear up and cry with them. You get close to your people in LTC so I think that kind of makes it hard too. I also agree with 3rdShiftGuy- It does take a special kind of person to care for children. I definately could not. God Bless :rolleyes: