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Discussion

Verbal Abuse?!?!?

Hello everyone,

I'm just a pre-nursing student...not even in nursing school yet. I'm concerned though because I keep reading in multiple threads that one of the drawbacks of nursing is having to put up with verbal abuse....not just from patients (or families) but from Doctor's, Nurses and management that you're working with.

I'm 36 yrs old, and this will be my 2nd career...I wouldn't put up with being verbally abused on any job, why do you have to put up with it in nursing? I'm not saying reacting in kind....but it seems to me that there's generally an adult, professional way to deal with being spoken to inappropriately and making sure it's not a chronic situation.

Thanks for any clarification.

Peace,

Cathie

Featured Replies

It is never okay to be verbally abused. I just look at the person that is attempting to verbally acost me and say " Why would you think it is ok to speak to me in that manner, I don't treat you badly so why do you think it is acceptable to speak to me that way?" I have yet to find some some who does not back off right away.

Unfotunately there are people in all areas of business and service fields that treat people badly. Poor unhappy souls. All you can do is approach it like Bird2 has suggested and be more adult and professional about things than the person doing the abusing. Dont take it personally and go on about your day is about all you can do.

It is never okay to be verbally abused. I just look at the person that is attempting to verbally acost me and say " Why would you think it is ok to speak to me in that manner, I don't treat you badly so why do you think it is acceptable to speak to me that way?" I have yet to find some some who does not back off right away.

This type of response is the best when dealing with a verbally abusive situation. It works well.

It is not OK to be verbally abused. Unfortunately in nursing there seems to be the idea that it is considered part of the job. It shouldn't be.

  • Experts

CuriousMe. . .I'm trying to think of a way to make you feel a lot better about what actually goes on in nursing. I think one of the problems of posting to a forum like this, is that once a thread gets started about something like abusive co-workers, it takes off and becomes a place for people to vent about the experiences they've had with it. Please don't be discouraged. Verbal abuse doesn't occur every single day from every co-worker. I've been a nurse for 30 years and it's happened to me, perhaps, a handful of times over the years. Without a doubt, most of my experiences have been pleasant and wonderful. One tends to remember the negative stuff because it evokes such a strong emotional response at the time they happen. But, just like in any walk of life, someone will pop off at you for no seemingly valid reason. It happens between kids playing in a sandbox, too. That's life. Nurses are under a lot of stress while on the job because they are juggling so many thoughts in their mind and constantly thinking about keeping on top of things. We are multi-taskers for sure! So, if someone comes along and talks to us in a bit of a raised voice, it's disruptive to our concentration. It doesn't happen all that much. You're just getting a concentration of people's stories about it on one forum. Remember there's a greater group of nurses reading these things that don't respond to posts like this because they have no experiences to report. That should be an encouragement to you.

I think we are saying it happens. Not that we are putting up with it.

I do not put up with verbal abuse. I choose my battles, but I don't put up with it.

most of us (with a few sad exceptions) don't have to manage abuse on a daily basis. no matter where you are, and no matter what profession, there are horizontal abuse events. i think we expound on the abusive moments because they are such a nasty shock when they occur. we talk about it (ad nauseam) because we need a place to talk where we do feel safe, and because we want to prevent future occurences. it's actually a healthy way to reckon with something that is a part of most adult's lives.

I keep reading in multiple threads that one of the drawbacks of nursing is having to put up with verbal abuse....not just from patients (or families) but from Doctor's, Nurses and management that you're working with.

Being harangued by a coworker is a complicated problem, being berated by a patient is commonplace in the ER.

75% of the volunteer shifts I do in the ER involve at least one homeless person or otherwise screaming at staff and having to be restrained.

I'm wondering why many Americans are more concerned about violent videogames or Janet Jackson's super bowl nipple, rather than violent criminals who spend little or no time in jail?

More importantly, how can we change people's attitudes so that they will punish criminals appropriately?

I know of a man who confessed to sexually assaulting two minors over a period of years, and he never went to jail.

I wonder how American's priorities over innappropriate behaivior could be corrected?

Cheers,

Andy

Being harangued by a coworker is a complicated problem, being berated by a patient is commonplace in the ER.

75% of the volunteer shifts I do in the ER involve at least one homeless person or otherwise screaming at staff and having to be restrained.

I'm wondering why many Americans are more concerned about violent videogames or Janet Jackson's super bowl nipple, rather than violent criminals who spend little or no time in jail?

More importantly, how can we change people's attitudes so that they will punish criminals appropriately?

I know of a man who confessed to sexually assaulting two minors over a period of years, and he never went to jail.

I wonder how American's priorities over innappropriate behaivior could be corrected?

Cheers,

Andy

Good question, Andy. I think as a society, we've become less respectful and less caring. I think part of it is the way some people raise their children. Who knows - I wish it were different.

Verbal abuse is troubling indeed.

The following are my recommendations:

1. Never do in kind; hold back anger and judgement and calmly exit if you can to let the person cool down and calmly ask that they treat you appropriately.

2. Confront malice head on by stating the inappropriateness of the verbal onslaught immediately. Do not allow the person to use you as an object of degredation.

3. Get others to follow you into the room to address this issue. The power of the calm many can calm the unruly one.

4. Bring the situation up to the attention of management and write an incident report.

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