Vent- long and whiney

[Pacu2RN]

First, my regular screen name contains part of my actual name, so I created pseudo-screenname for this post. That said...

I have absolutely had it with a coworker pushing my buttons and really can not take it anymore. When I came on board as a new employee a year ago (with many years of experience in another nursing field), I got along with her just fine. It isn't anything obvious. First, she is extremely passive aggressive. Then we had an issue earlier when it became apparent that she had been managing to get everyone else to medicate her patients. We sorta resolved that by refusing to do it for her once the rest of us got on the same page (except for the less assertive peacekeeper types). But her behavior seems to be worsening. For the past few weeks, she would just walk up and start checking my charts behind me, second guessing me about my patients, asking me for my opinion (and other's too) and then telling me why that wasn't wanted, and a whole slew of other crap.

Monday I needed to call a doc to get something for a guy who was screaming in pain from a cluster head headache. He had been treated an hour earlier with Demerol/phenergan for back pain from a procedure-the med is what triggered the cluster h/a. His h/a med was at home and I just needed to get him comfortable enough to d/c. He was screaming and rolling to and fro on the gurney. I picked up the phone to page the doc and she snarkily said..."he's been medicated, just send him home". Now, if I had asked her opinion, or if it were the same pain as earlier, I might have been tempted by this, but that wasn't the situation and it irked me. So I put down the phone and reviewed the chart again. She asked what doc had said and I ignored her because I did not have anything nice to say. Instead I went into the room next door, called him and got a toradol order. Done, patient improved and discharged.

Tuesday, I almost managed to get thru the entire shift without too many issues then it hit the fan. Without too many details, she did not like it that I would not sign that I received a patient from phase I who had been received by another nurse. The other nurse had not signed as receiving her and I had taken over the case when that nurse left. I was the discharging nurse. I signed only as discharging. We started to get into it over this. We started bickering. It was the end of a tough, busy shift. I ended up walking of to vent to our nurse manager rather that to continue to bicker in front of our few remaining patients. When I calmed down and composed, I returned. She said, " You better not have been in there complaining about me 'cause we don't do that here". Yup. I said, "What are you gonna do if I was?" End of our conversations for the day and she went home then since she had been off for about 30 minutes by then.

[netglow, ASN, RN]

That would get me PO'd too! You are experienced and do not need to take orders or even advice from other nurses if you should not choose to. Don't let her cause you to second guess your gut. This is hard to do, but if you consistently respond this way, you can teach yourself to not even be aware of her voice or presence. Just zone out when she is near. Teach yourself to be so unaware of her that you naturally do not respond to her. Should she nudge over to comment about what you are doing, stay where you are, continue what you are doing, at the pace you were doing it (very important), finish the task, and walk away onto your next task. This without looking at her, rolling your eyes, or smirking, speaking to her, or in anyway acknowledging that she is alive. You can get good at this. Also, never ask her for help, or advice. It's important to wipe her off the face of your earth. She simply does not exist.

It really works. Soon you won't be stressed by her, and she will feel less of a person - too bad, time for her to.

[Bec717]

I simply state, " I will not jeopardzie my nursing licensure by providing care that I feel and know is substandard for the patient's care and safety" and walk away.

I have also used, "The patient is the MD's patient and he was the right to make any decisions in regards to his patient's care & it's my place to call the MD and give him the opportunity and information to treat his patients as he deems neccisary."

Good Luck~ why can't some just go with the flow and take care of their paitents- that's our real job in the end- keep the patient comfortable, safe, and as well as we can!

[Minnie2006]

It is truly sad that people like this are oblivious to how they impact others. Know your feeling first hand. Have a coworker that itimidates me because, unlike you, I don't have more experience but go out of my way to learn the ropes. She speaks to me in the most demeaning fashion in front of others. I agree with previous post, I avoid her at all costs unless we follow one anothers shift. Then I can be assured that she will have something to say about what I did or did not do! Take heart that you are above this type of behavior.

[Vikingkitten]

Good for you, standing up to a Curmudgeon like that. Seems every unit I've ever been on has this same person on it!

Stick to your guns and CYA and take care of your patients!

Just my $.02.

[DogWmn]

Sounds like you've got a passive agressive drama queen on your hands to gets off creating stress in the workplace.

Like the previous posted stated your only recourse is to shun them. Document the messes they make and un-ethical behaviors.

Good luck!

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

I worked with a similar nurse at one time.

She would tell me what to do, and I would smile and say thank you, then do exactly what I wanted. In the course of the shift she would frequently point out how she wanted me to do my job. I would smile and say "thank you," "that's a good idea" "you're right" .......Then do exactly what I wanted. Used to drive her nuts.

Confrontation would only have exhausted me. Confrontation was what she wanted and I wouldn't give it to her.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

sounds like a bad situation. She sounds like a total witch. Who does she think she is to go behind you, on your patients, and give her opinion? I don't blame you, I'd be ticked. She needs to keep her nose out of your business, unless you ask. Does it work that way where you work, to have each other all over each other's patients? I'm assuming this is a PACU, of which I am unfamiliar, but still..... she sounds like she is all over you. I love your response to her about you talking to the manager, "what if I was??" Love it!

BTW, I'd be likely to tell her (when others aren't listening) that you don't give a crap about her or her opinion and to keep her nose out of your business. That's putting it nicely. I can't stand how there are such bullies out there who try for intimidation and fear and to what gain? What is the freakin' purpose? I think there's a screw loose in anyone who behaves in this way, which would take far more energy to create the drama than to just work and go home. It must suck to be her - imagine how miserable she is. =)

[himilayaneyes]

Sounds like that nurse just want's her ego stroked. Good for you standing up for yourself and your patients. It's your license, not hers. Perhaps you should just simply state to her that you are co-workers, not friends, when you want her advice, you'll ask for it. Good luck...she sounds annoying.