Unsatisfied SAHM with A/A degree wanting to become nurse, immoral to my children?

snow_bear · Apr 18, 2011

You would not be a bad mother if you chose to pursue more schooling and a career. In fact, I think that's exactly what you SHOULD do. Even if your boyfriend is committed to spending his life with you and raising your children together, things can happen. He can get sick, injured, or disabled and not be able to work and provide income. You never know. If he should lose his job and become unemployed or have to accept a lower paying job than what he is used to, you may need to work to keep the bills paid.

Now being that you do have very young children, I would not go the doctor route. The life of a medical student and doctor is not really conducive to family life as it is and you would have to give up too much time and money just to get thru it.

Nursing is doable and it will provide you with enough flexibility and earning potential to meet your life goals.

rn/writer, RN · Apr 18, 2011

You sound like a vibrant, intelligent and attractive personality. And you are a bundle of contradictions, as well.

You write for a women's advocacy program, yet you wonder if it's immoral (interesting word choice) for you to pursue a career. You have all kinds of interests and avocations, but you ask if it's wrong to want to further your education in the direction of future employment. You are in a long-term relationship but with someone who is reluctant to commit, and at some point, you may need to be closer to self sufficiency.

I don't say any of this as criticism--only to point out that you appear to be at the mercy of some of these inner conflicts.

That, and it sounds like you are bored out of your skull.

Many of the ideas you mentioned sound like avenues worth pursuing in some fashion. And your concern about your kids is admirable. Too many people (who have other options) relegate the needs of young children to an afterthought.

You may be able to pursue online courses (nursing pre-reqs, for example) now that wouldn't take you away from your little ones for lengthy periods. You could feel like you're moving forward and making progress without upending their world.

As they grow, you can begin to branch out--enroll in clinicals or other bricks-and-mortar classes that require more of your physical presence.

In the interim, you can take some time each week to explore. Communicate with others who hold jobs you think you'd like. Scope out the requirements. Job shadow if you can. Visit websites highlighting various careers and employers.

I share your thoughts about teaching. I'm very good at it one-to-one or in a small group. But en masse, no thank you! Taking on a classroom full of kids sounds more like crowd control to me.

One thing I would heartily encourage you to do (if you haven't already) is take the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Inventory. This test helps to pin down your innate way of seeing the world and functioning in it.

Here is one link--

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/info.html

--but it's by no means all-inclusive. If you Google Myers-Briggs, you will find a range of choices, from quick and easy versions to more detailed ones with many questions.

This information can help you pin down what kinds of jobs will mesh well with your personal attributes and which might be better left alone. It won't necessarily say that you shouldn't be a teacher, only that you should focus on the kinds of positions that complement the way your mind works. In my case, as I said, I would not do well in a busy classroom of young children, BUT, I do all kinds of teaching with my postpartum moms, and I enjoy it very much.

You can also look for ways to include your kids in your quest. Take them with you on some voyages--to the library, to hear a storyteller at a fair, to a concert on the grass. Things that will get them used to venturing into the unknown and looking for the hidden gems.

You have so many possibilities before you. Not being satisfied as a SAHM doesn't mean you don't love your children. It means you have a surplus of gifts and you want them to be used. :up:

lilyharte · Apr 18, 2011

Thank you. Yes I looked further into it CNM is right with everything I'd want to do. My 18 month old is still breastfeeding and will until she decides not to! But I need a bucket of science courses for the next 2-3 semesters with the liberal arts curriculum I never looked into science much. I did do contemporary math, elem. algebra, and a biology course. I looked into the transfer needs to the CSU for the BSN and read up on RN to BSN online programs, but I need that A/S and RN license as my first step! Maybe a college offers these courses online? I'm in California currently, but have also resided in NY and CO. Do you know of any community colleges that offer the pre-req's mainly online? I don't have a sitter for my babies... I could try to use my mom for it but she may not always be down for that plan, lol.

lilyharte · Apr 18, 2011

I am an INFP I did that test in college PSYCH class :)

Thank you. I know I'm a walking contradiction! I am bored I also play warcraft while NAK (nursing at keyboard) my daughter. I have multiple 80's! It's not fulfilling to me to sit here doing nothing at all. http://www.mothersforjustice.com, is the website I speak of and http://www.roxhart.com. Hobbies nothing real! I even tried an online store but its reclusive and I loathed the customers. I need financial security and a life too. I write about child custody and Family Law. I was a guardian attorney for my mother for many years as teen. Being a lawyer doesn't sound attractive to me, or realistic. I just don't like it, but I do write about legal issues that envelope the lives of women and their children.

Thank you for the replies!

You sound like a vibrant, intelligent and attractive personality. And you are a bundle of contradictions, as well.
You write for a women's advocacy program, yet you wonder if it's immoral (interesting word choice) for you to pursue a career. You have all kinds of interests and avocations, but you ask if it's wrong to want to further your education in the direction of future employment. You are in a long-term relationship but with someone who is reluctant to commit, and at some point, you may need to be closer to self sufficiency.
I don't say any of this as criticism--only to point out that you appear to be at the mercy of some of these inner conflicts.
That, and it sounds like you are bored out of your skull.
Many of the ideas you mentioned sound like avenues worth pursuing in some fashion. And your concern about your kids is admirable. Too many people (who have other options) relegate the needs of young children to an afterthought.
You may be able to pursue online courses (nursing pre-reqs, for example) now that wouldn't take you away from your little ones for lengthy periods. You could feel like you're moving forward and making progress without upending their world.
As they grow, you can begin to branch out--enroll in clinicals or other bricks-and-mortar classes that require more of your physical presence.
In the interim, you can take some time each week to explore. Communicate with others who hold jobs you think you'd like. Scope out the requirements. Job shadow if you can. Visit websites highlighting various careers and employers.
I share your thoughts about teaching. I'm very good at it one-to-one or in a small group. But en masse, no thank you! Taking on a classroom full of kids sounds more like crowd control to me.
One thing I would heartily encourage you to do (if you haven't already) is take the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Inventory. This test helps to pin down your innate way of seeing the world and functioning in it.
Here is one link, but it's by no means all-inclusive. If you Google Myers-Briggs, you will find a range of choices, from quick and easy versions to more detailed ones with many questions.
This information can help you pin down what kinds of jobs will mesh well with your personal attributes and which might be better left alone. It won't necessarily say that you shouldn't be a teacher, only that you should focus on the kinds of positions that complement the way your mind works. In my case, as I said, I would not do well in a busy classroom of young children, BUT, I do all kinds of teaching with my postpartum moms, and I enjoy it very much.
You can also look for ways to include your kids in your quest. Take them with you on some voyages--to the library, to hear a storyteller at a fair, to a concert on the grass. Things that will get them used to venturing into the unknown and looking for the hidden gems.
You have so many possibilities before you. Not being satisfied as a SAHM doesn't mean you don't love your children. It means you have a surplus of gifts and you want them to be used.

snow_bear · Apr 18, 2011

With an AA degree, you should already have the general ed requirements except for the sciences. You can take your time and space them out over several semesters while you're kids are still very young and look at getting into the nursing program/clinicals when your baby is school-age.

NewSN13 · Apr 18, 2011

I think the best thing we can do for our children is make sure that we are happy and fulfilled! I was a SAHM for four years and while I am thankful that I was able to do that, it got to the point where I was miserable. It took a long time for me to speak up, though, because I wondered if admitting I wanted time away from my kids and to be something other than mom would make me a bad person. We made a decision about what was best for OUR family.

Maybe you can start out with one online class or an evening class. Ease yourself back into it, see how it feels and continue on accordingly.

wannaB RN · Apr 19, 2011

I am a mother of 3, I'm soon to be 29 and I have been going to school (evenings, part-time) for almost 2 years. If things go my way, I should be begining the nursing program fall 2012. I've always wanted to be a nurse, it's my passion. I was planning to go back when all of my children was in school, however my hubby had knee surgery and was out of work for 4 months. I realized then the big need to have two people with some sort of career (wheather you use it or not) I decided quickly then to begin slowly going back to school. I am still home with my children, drop them off at school ( I have a 7, 6 and 3) pick them up, go on field trips ect ect... You can do it without sacrificing time with your children. Part-Time, Evenings and evening doing on-line classes when available. Now, when you actually start the Nursing program, which I have learned, it is very time consuming but at the end it will be rewarding. Good Luck!! :nurse:

caliotter3 · Apr 19, 2011

Do not look at this as something you "want" to do, as if a pastime or unnecessary. Look at it as a necessary step to give yourself a job skill. You never know what the future can bring. You can not count on your other half to be there or be able to always support the family. All women, and especially women with children, owe it to themselves to prepare themselves to be self sufficient.

JROregon, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 19, 2011

I was a SAHM until my youngest started K-garten and I could find afterschool care. I started with one class. I too avoided sciences with my prior degree so I had to start from scratch. It took me a little under 2 years to complete all of the classes necessary to apply to the nursing school. I wouldn't try to drag it out for several years because the science and math need to be current (our school says "within 5 years of applying for nursing school"). There are some classes you can take online but I wouldn't recommend it unless you are extremely ambitious and never procrastinate and are a quick learner. The nursing school will all be in person and will take up a lot of time out of class. I waited till mine were a little older but there are plenty of people in class with toddlers and preschoolers and their kids seem to do fine ... for the most part.

NCRNMDM, ASN, RN · Apr 19, 2011

I do not feel that pursuing more education to achieve a career that you are interested in, that pays a good deal of money, and that would provide more financial stability for you and your children makes you anything but an intelligent and concerned parent and human. I think that you should, by all means, get your nursing degree and begin working as soon as possible. It isn't selfish to want a career, and nursing is an incredibly selfless career of giving and helping others; it also happens to pay very well, and would provide you with much needed cash. I think that, while it might be hard while you are in school, it will be a great move in the long run, and will benefit you, and your children, greatly. You are driven and have a passion to help others, I think that you should embrace that and achieve your desires. Just because you are a mother does not mean that you have to give every aspiration and hope you've ever had up.