Treated any differently for street drugs?

luvche · Sep 30, 2010

While only you can decide how much you wish to divulge to your peers, you can rest assured knowing you are doing what you need to do to stay clean. Those who are treating you as "worse" than themselves are obviously not doing what they need to do in their recovery program. Else they would not be jusdging you so. Maybe they are feeling bad about their own transgressions and found someone else (you) to project their resentments on.

Just my 2 cents....

LilRedRN1973 · Sep 30, 2010

I have a colleague who was busted for meth.... I don't think of him differently or treat him any differently. I have another colleague who was actually the supervisor of the CIC, was an alcoholic, got sober, then got hooked on pain meds, then went back out drinking, realized how screwed up things were, and ended up shooting up meth. Don't think of him any differently, either. In fact, he's been MOST instrumental in a lot of my getting back into the nursing workforce. He's got so much insight and has been around the rooms of AA for years and years. I highly respect the guy. I don't see a difference. My "yet" was heroin. I KNOW once I ran out of enough pills and couldn't obtain anymore or afford stuff like oxy's, etc. I would have gone to a cheaper source like heroin. I'm not stupid or naive to think that's below me. My disease had a strong enough hold on me that I would have done anything to keep from getting sick, going through withdrawls, etc. I just happened to have a big enough supply for the time being from my doctors and family members. But eventually, that 40-50 pills/day habit would have grown and I wouldn't have been able to keep up. I would have had to find another way to maintain my "sickness" and I suspect heroin would have been something I'd have eventually graduated to. I see it all the time in my clinic. Clients start with their parents vicodin at 16, them move up to oxycontin. Once they are using so much oxycontin they can't afford it, they find heroin much more reasonable, even though they tell me they never would have imagined themselves at that place when they popped that first vicodin. I certainly don't think any less of you.....not one bit.

spizwink · Oct 1, 2010

Thank you so much for your reply!! I know in my heart and addict is an addict and we all struggle with our own demons- I just never dreamed I would turn to heroin. Before I became addicted to heroin I thought that was one drug i would never do! When I first went to tx the program director asked what my drug of choice was, shook his head and said, "We have a harder time helping you heroin addicts stay clean than any of the rest". I am determined to keep it together. Right now I am staying with my mother and the nearest meeting is 34 miles away but today i went, got lost, missed the meeting- but at least I made it for the meeting after the meeting and met some people down here in recovery. This is a farming community- very poor and no jobs but i have committed to staying here until i get all my reinstatement paperwork done and amazingly i got a job working in a peanut/pecan mill. Hard physical work, lousy pay but i am ecstatic that i wont be bumming off my family just to put gas in the car! I am learning to be grateful for little things instead of doing the poor me thing. Anyway, I am rambling but to be honest i have no one to talk to here! Your reply helped my frame of mind and confidence because i tend to beat myself up and my self esteem kinda sucks but i know if i keep with the program it will all get better.:)

TXRN2 · Oct 3, 2010

an addict is an addict- their drug of choice doesn't matter- the outcomes are all the same. others shouldn't be judging you- but that is their problem, not yours. what matters to you is your dedication to your own recovery program- stay focused on that! hang in there!!!

MizChelleRN · Oct 5, 2010

I hear what you're asking....I agree that an addict or alcoholic is just the same, regardless of the drug. Interesting what society says about the stigma of "street" drugs. And how I can get different sympathy when I tell my story, that I became addicted to opiates following a surgery with complications, but how people's tune changes when it comes with cocaine, diversion, and much shadier stuff.

For you and sharing, I guess I would just allude to my addiction and say "and other substances" when speaking in general terms. When I attend some of the more "uppity" AA meetings (sorry, no offense, but some ARE uppity! I was once asked to leave an AA meeting for talking about drugs...."NA meeting down the street"...eyeroll...I was new to recovery and didnt really examine my drinking and thought I didn't have a drinking problem..haha, I have a THINKING problem) I have to edit down my drug use and focus on the alcohol abuse, where I can pepper in allusions to "other substances" and "lines I crossed that I would not have otherwise crossed had I not been an alcoholic"...and let people make their own inferences. Truth be told, I've heard that heroin is a very natural transition from opiate addiction, as their effect on the addict are similar. I am sure I would have loved the hell out of some heroin, the accompanying hell notwithstanding.

I was a funny addict....was shooting straight dilaudid and crushing/snorting vicodin, yet, I never did oxycontin, because "PEOPLE GET ADDICTED TO THAT CRAP!" .....oh the lies we tell ourselves! I thought oxys were that stuff people really got in trouble for! But I could rationalize what I was doing?! Ohhhh the insidiousness of the disease.

I love the YETs.....You're Eligible To....I was certainly eligible to do anything, and never saw it coming. Glad you're back in the rooms spizwink....stick around this forum. xo Michelle

mariannern · Oct 7, 2010

Been there, done that. It's on a need to know basis. Say what makes you most comfortable. A drug is a drug. Addiction comes in many forms and people should not compare but try to identify to another's experience , strength and hope. Hang in there, it's a long journey but life does get so much better. My best day using still doesn't beat my worst day clean and sober. May your Higher Power carry you thru this second chance. blessings to you:)

rn/writer, RN · Oct 7, 2010

I think people react weirdly to street drugs because they can tell themselves they would never let themselves sink that low. Street drugs conjure up images of things like prostitution, robbery, violence, living in squalor with rats and roaches, etc. Given these images, street drugs lack the "glamour" and "respectability" of prescription drugs.

It's all a crock. Desperation smells the same no matter where it's coming from. And plenty of people have done ugly stuff for the non-street drugs.

This is human nature's pitiful attempt to feel better at someone else's expense.

The irony is that I think it might be easier for those addicted to street drugs to face reality and own the mess. They don't have the false comfort of telling themselves they "only" did this or that. There are no delusions to hide behind.

Good for you, spizwink, for all the progress you've made. You have much to be proud of. I wish you the best with your license reinstatement. :up:

jackstem · Oct 8, 2010

Addiction is addiction is addiction. Who cares where you get your drug of (no) choice? As someone said, street drugs is someplace any of us could end up with when our ability to obtain drugs from other resources disappears. Also, as someone else said, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about the kinds of drugs you used or where you obtained them.

A good friend of mine says the following..."My name is A--, and I'm addicted to more!"

Hang in there!

Jack

mellyk · Nov 30, 2010

I experienced the same thing five years ago when i tried the diversion program in ca and was at the nurse support group my drug of choice was meth and i felt a bit lowly too but let me tell what's even worse than is when you have been clean three and half yearsand you have completely changed professions. after giving up on the hoops of the diversion program i opted for truck driving school. anyways they didn't get around to the original complaint for three years which was for a positive tox screen in the ER of the hospital i worked at as a traveler not workmans comp they had no chain of custody on the ua or informed consent and as a result they totally breached my confidentiality and i was fired and complaint filed. but i thought i was doing the right thing to remove myself from nursing so after 18 years of labor and delivery i hit the open road wow it really was just what i needed i needed to learn something new and yes get away. I know i know it was a permanent constant geographic cure and you know what it was successful it's been five years i spend three months in my truck i love spending time with me have never relapsed have no desire to use and after three years i decided i would go back bingo that's when they the attorney general finally gets in touch. Well to make an even longer story shorter i said i would stipulate and figured i'd get probation and monitoring i had a friend who had criminal charges many relapses and that's what she got . but no i get informed three months later that there is no evidence of rehabilitation and they will accept my surrender or revoke so i surrendered it. the problem comes now when it's been five years and i would like to get it back mostly to get off that OIG exclusion list but nothing is any different that it was two years ago i still drive truck i still didn't go to rehab and certainly arn't goin to go now. i occasionally pop in on a meeting when im home but honestly maybe twice a year i really have no aversion to them but i'm not there and with the economy as bad as it's been i couldn't just quit my job go home and go to meeting everyday i didnt want it that bad so now i'm trying to figure out how to put everything together to reapply i am randomly tested on my job but to ask for the results i'm afraid i would have to tell them why and then they would find out that five years ago i wasn't very truthful and probably fire me I've thought of paying for hair follicle testing and some other things california doesn't exactly give you any clear guidance on what they want as proof of rehabilitation any one else deal with california

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Thenurse27 · Dec 8, 2010

I actually had a similar situation. I did have a problem with pain meds, surrendered my license and became addicted to heroin. I tell NO-ONE anymore. I attempted to join the peer assistance program in my state and they rejected me for being on Suboxone even though the board said I could get my license back. In NA I am accepted. Amongst my fellow nurses I am "street trash". I felt bad enough for the mistakes I have made and to have my peers reject me made it even worse. I now lie and say that I have a problem with "pills" as not to be judged. Believe me I judge myself enough everyday. I hope everything works out for you. And thanks for letting me get that out :) ..... FINALLY

mimi-1 · Dec 10, 2010

I am sorry that you were treated that way, but the use of drugs are all the same. I am in a nursing group that consists of people using all different types of drugs and alcohol. We even had a nurse that was having issues with eating, drinking and drugs. She called herself the triple A.My group leader has always stated that the use of prescription drugs is no different from street drugs. Whether it is crack, herion or percocet, it is all the same, so, they cannot look down their nose at you. You need to continue to be honest for you. Good luck.